(Clearwisdom.net) My aunt and uncle have been Falun Gong practitioners for more than a decade. Throughout the years, they have put the Fa and Master first in everything they do. Their righteous thoughts and acts in assisting Master in Fa-rectification have earned them respect from others. Because of the many opportunities I have to visit their home, I have become very familiar with their daily lives. My feeling towards them is a mixture of respect, guilt, and anguish.
One day last January, I wanted to exchange my understandings of the Fa with my aunt. After an early lunch, I set out to their home with two homemade rice cakes. It so happened that they had been out clarifying the truth and had just arrived home, about to make lunch. As my aunt occupied herself with my conversation, my uncle had to take over the cooking. He made a fast meal--stir-fried greens with steamed cornbread. During the lunch, my uncle picked up a rice cake and put it into my aunt's bowl. She took a small nibble and gave it back to him, "This is your favorite food. I never have time to make them. Here, you can have them all." They devoted all their time to studying the Fa and validating the Fa, such that they hardly had any time left for their personal lives. This was why a common rice cake became a luxury at the kitchen table.
One afternoon, I wanted to join the regularly scheduled Fa study at my uncle's house. As soon as I entered the door, I saw them getting ready to take a ride to some practitioner's place dozens of miles away to drop off copies of some of Master's articles. I waited for them to return, when other practitioners would also come to their home for the Fa-study.
They came back on time for Fa study, but before I could ask them whether they had had lunch or not, other practitioners started to arrive. All of a sudden the room was crowded, and the front yard was packed with practitioners' bicycles. I kept worrying about their safety under the circumstances, so I asked myself, "Do I need to search within because I saw this?"
Master has emphasized many times in his lectures the importance of searching within. During the following days, I started doing so and indeed found many areas that needed improvement. For instance, I wasn't diligent. Whenever I slacked off, it was usually my aunt, uncle, and other practitioners who discovered it and helped me to catch up. Sometimes, instead of waiting for them to reach out, I'd stop by their home and tell them, "I have relapsed again. Please help!" Acting like a child, I repeatedly reminded my aunt, "Please don't leave me behind." Thus, I became a burden and added extra weight to my uncle and aunt's shoulders. Had I not slacked off, they would have been much relieved.
They helped other practitioners like they helped me. If I can be diligent and encourage those who used to be my fellow practitioners to come forward, Master would worry less, and those like my aunt and uncle could spend more time on Fa-rectification projects.
The reason I often go to my aunt and uncle's place is to gain leverage against external forces to improve my personal cultivation. In fact, this is seeking externally for solutions to my own problems. If I can let go of my selfishness and reach out to those practitioners who haven't come forward to form smaller study group to study the Fa together, it can alleviate the pressure on that large study group (because larger groups are at higher risk of being exposed) and help to improve as one body.
I realized that most of the pressure imposed on those diligent practitioners come from those of us who haven't fulfilled our own responsibilities as cultivators. If we could all strive to advance in our cultivation, it would be a different state with our Fa-rectification status.
I often like discussing my own selfish interests with other practitioners. If I get rid of this attachment, I can save time and be more efficient when communicating with other practitioners.
Despite how busy we are, we must find time to study the Fa. This is because the more hectic our lives are and the more projects we participate in, the more wisdom and righteous thoughts are needed, which all come from the Fa.
Category: Improving Oneself
