Walking Towards Maturity While Clarifying the Truth
(Clearwisdom.net) I began Falun Dafa cultivation in 1997. After many ups and downs during more than a dozen years of cultivation, I have experienced tremendous changes in my mind and body. I want to thank Teacher for His compassionate protection over the course of my cultivation thus far.
Obtaining the Fa
I used to be a sentimental person and was permeated with attachments and persistent in pursuing a good life. But I often felt that life had no meaning and was, generally, dismayed. At one time, I was considering taking the entrance exam for graduate school. But then, I thought, even if I succeeded in passing the examination, so what? It would only amount to vain pursuit, as all roads culminate in death just the same.
As I felt hopeless, I had the good fortune to encounter Dafa. My parents used to have group Fa study at home. When I returned to my parents' home occasionally, I saw many people come to study the Fa and they all seemed to be in a good mood. The most incredible thing was that my mother was illiterate, but she could read Dafa books and could even memorize some of them. I was influenced by the atmosphere.
The other day when I was memorizing "Seeking Discipleship with Teacher" in Essentials for Further Advancement, I was shaken like never before. Teacher spreading the Fa is offering salvation to all beings. I deeply felt Teacher's unparalleled compassion. Achieving righteous attainment is the real purpose of life!
Through Fa study I finally found the answer for my feelings of dismay. From then on, I have been cheerful and open-minded, with a positive outlook on life. I remember when my husband's brother was getting married, and my husband's parents were stressed by how they didn't help us much financially during our wedding. I told them not to worry about it, that we would not be upset if they helped my husband's brother more than us. Because of Dafa, I used the standard of Dafa to guide my behavior. Whenever I can lay down my selfish thoughts, I feel happy from within.
Assimilating into Dafa
Doing the three things are the most sacred things Teacher has entrusted of us. These things complement one another and have extremely far-reaching significance. Clarifying the truth helps cultivate selflessness and saves sentient beings. Sending forth righteous thoughts makes me realize the majesty of walking on the divine path. Studying the Fa well is the prerequisite for fulfilling our historic vows.
When I sent forth righteous thoughts in the beginning, I always had doubts about my own ability. As I continued studying the Fa, I realized that even new students have supernormal capabilities, so I should too. As I concentrated on my righteous thoughts, I found that they became more powerful. Therefore, whenever I was doing a Dafa project, I would send forth righteous thoughts first. If the evil in other dimensions were not cleaned out, I experienced more interference. On one occasion, I was unsuccessful in sending a text message to clarify the truth after several tries. So I thought of sending righteous thoughts to remove the dark minions and rotten demons, then all of a sudden the message went through.
The majority of people in this world represent a huge system in the cosmos. Since I have successfully obtained the Fa, I cannot allow those deceived by the evil Party to commit a crime against Dafa. We need to cultivate selflessness and consider others, even while under pressure from the evil. That is why we must clarify the truth to save sentient beings.
It is easy to talk about selflessness, but it is hard to act accordingly. After I had been arrested several times, I felt fearful after being released. I dared not clarify the truth face to face. I understood that if I did not save those people who had a predestined relationship with me, they would have no future. I had to break through the attachment of fear and stride toward selflessness. When I had this desire, Teacher sent those with predestined relationships to me.
Once, I took my son, who wasn't a cultivator, to a clinic to see a doctor. A man came in. He said that he had been to many hospitals for treatment and had seen doctors of Chinese and Western medicine, but no one could heal his illness. He was in despair and ready to give up treatment. Since he happened to come to this small clinic, I felt that perhaps it was Teacher sending him to me. So I walked out of the clinic and started to send forth righteous thoughts. I thought to myself that if he had really come to hear the truth, let him come outside and across the road to me. Sure enough, he came out and I was able to clarify the truth to him. He kept thanking me before he left, though I was sure Teacher had arranged everything. In this way I have been encouraged to be firm and sure-footed on the path of Fa-rectification.
A few years ago, my job transferred me to a small town. Since I didn't have any contact with Dafa practitioners, I had to get truth-clarifying material from out-of-town. So I decided to make my own material. With help from fellow practitioners, I made a lot of CD's, copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, and other booklets. Later, under Teacher's arrangement, I established a local site to provide the Nine Commentaries.
Xinxing improvement is crucial during the Fa-rectification. For instance, I often had conflicts with my son, and then I felt badly after each conflict. This happened time and again. I just couldn't overcome this obstacle. Once I found that my son was lying and didn't study the Fa. I shouted at him. Not only was he disobedient, he was also intentionally rousing my anger. He said: "Look at you, you lost your temper in disciplining your child. Are you cultivating?" I knew it was Teacher using his mouth to remind me to look within. But I still couldn't let go. Even after I looked inward, I only found my son's faults again and got angry. When I looked inward harder, I finally found the root. Why had my son lied? Because he knew what I liked and disliked. "Everything in the entire human society comes from this sentimentality." (Zhuan Falun) If this sentimentality is not relinquished, we will not be able to have benevolence. Although my son ought not lie, I needed to be in control of my emotions.
Thinking of this, I suddenly became very peaceful. I could see that I loved to pursue the interests of everyday people. The principles of ordinary human society are just the opposite to that of true cultivation. Practitioners ought not treat problems like everyday people. Out of sentimentality and selfishness, I didn't follow the standard of Dafa cultivation. This was the root of the conflict. I was determined to cultivate away such attachments. At this point, I sensed the power of compassion assimilating into Dafa. That evening, my son behaved well and voluntarily admitted his mistake. From this perspective, when we look inward, we really need to be determined as we do it. Even when our attachments are hard to pinpoint, conflicts arise from attachments that we need to improve upon. Only by raising our own awareness and assimilating into Dafa, can we do the three things well.
Clarifying the Truth to Break through Sentimentality
I was arrested and illegally detained repeatedly. After coming out of prison, my outlook was not so good. Fortunately, I continued to regard myself as a practitioner and wanted to return to my true self. Perhaps Teacher saw my precious heart and arranged for fellow practitioners to help me one after another. I finally broke through the attachments of fear, worry, fame and gain, thereby improving my state of cultivation.
The first hurdle was to just break through sentimentality toward my family. My family was afraid that I would be persecuted again and always reminded me not to make contact with fellow practitioners. I knew that my family had suffered persecution for all those years because of me. I worried about my beloved family in such a state of anxiety. Because of my worry and fear, I often studied the Fa in secret, not to mention doing the three things and helping others to quit the CCP. Sensing the Fa-rectification process moving forward rapidly, I was anxious, but I just could not break through the attachment of sentimentality. I was able to clarify the truth to a stranger, but I just could not clarify the truth to loved ones. I was despondent and did not know what to do. I put my hopes in my mother and aunt, who were also Dafa practitioners. But this did not work. When I was arrested in the past, if my mother mentioned Falun Gong, my sisters and my brother would worry. When the husband of my eldest sister was ill and was sent to a hospital, I was afraid to come forward to clarify the truth to him, as both of them were CCP members. I counted on my mother to clarify the truth to them. But my sister shouted at mother, "Don't talk to me about this, little sister just got out of prison."
It seems that their condition was a reflection of my condition. So I decided inwardly to do my best to clarify the truth to them in an upright and noble fashion. My fear was a byproduct of sentimentality that I needed to cultivate away. Treating them with such sentimentality was hurting them. Instead, I resolved to clarify the truth to them the next time there was an opportunity. I would no longer push this responsibility to others.
During that time, I started to memorize the Fa and improved my righteous thoughts to the point where I no longer felt I needed to study the Fa in secrecy. I brought fellow practitioners home and no one said anything. In fact, my family was hospitable in every way. I often told my family how my mind had changed and the stories of other practitioners posted on Minghui website. When people understand more about Dafa, they are much less antagonistic. When there is opposition, that means we need to clarify the truth. When our starting point is based on saving sentient beings, we are walking on the path arranged by Teacher. One day I asked a fellow practitioner to send truth-clarifying material to my oldest sister, who is married. When they received the material, they said some bad things. The following day, my brother-in-law had a painful toothache, and then he suffered swollen legs, which prevented him from going to work. I decided to go to their home to clarify the truth.
The power of Dafa is truly magical. When I arrived at their home, I didn't know how to start. My brother-in-law started to talk about the subject, and he accepted the truth readily. He understood why one needs to quit the CCP, and why Dafa practitioners clarify the truth and so on. Later, I gave him an e-book and mp3, and he accepted them happily. His legs were healed the following day. I was very happy for them.
Then good news came from my mother. She told me that the whole family of my eldest sister and my third older sister had all quit the CCP. Through clarifying the truth, I had overcome my sentimentality for my family. Sentimentality is something belonging to the Three Realms. If we get caught within it, we will be trapped by it. Moreover, we will have difficulty carrying out Dafa projects and feel insurmountable pressure. But when we truly set aside the sentimentality and have compassion, we will indeed find: "After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!" (Zhuan Falun)
Nothing that we encounter on the path of cultivation is accidental. Every encounter will improve our state and purify our minds. We walk on a path towards maturity. We are the lives Dafa has created, and our lives have been ennobled by Dafa.