(Clearwisdom.net) I'm a veteran practitioner who was fortunate to begin Falun Dafa cultivation practice in 1993. Before cultivating, I was considerate and understanding in the eyes of others. In 1951, I started work in a textile factory, first as a worker, and later managing people. I am capable of handling relationships with all manor of people very well, and would rather bear hardship, suffer losses and exhaust myself, than see other people unhappy.
Since I started to cultivate, I gradually began to realize that the "kindness" and "consideration" that I had towards others was not pure enough and I was not naturally a good person. Most of the time my "kindness" was not genuine. Just as Master has said in Zhuan Falun,
"When some people say that you're good, you might not really be good, and when some people say that you're bad, you might not really be bad."
As I began to raise my xinxing, I managed to dig out the fundamental attachment hidden behind my fake "kindness." With the pursuit of fame, I was afraid that others might criticize me, and I only wanted to listen to good comments about myself. Before I retired I was already managing others in the workshop and had been seriously polluted by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. I treated all the different conflicts that I encountered in my work with the "philosophy of struggle," that I had learned from the CCP's education. By this, I mean that I was trying to prove that I was strong, but was still not a bad person. Gradually, these notions became habit and part of my personality. When I began to cultivate, these dirty notions kept interfering with me, making it very difficult for me to walk on a righteous path.
When I studied the Fa, this strong attachment prevented me from truly understanding the Fa. When I talked about my understanding of the Fa, it seemed that I was pretty good, but when it came to taking real action, I always used the Fa to conceal my selfishness and I wouldn't let go of the attachment to pursue fame.
Master once said,
"Any type of habit that you form is in fact a material product. In other dimensions that material is there, and only thus does that state manifest here in this dimension... "
"I will remove that material substance, but the associated habits and traits that you've formed have to be eliminated by you." ("Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan")
It is only when I read this part of the Fa that I realized that the notions and habits we form after we are born are the degenerated substances in our dimension. They will not disappear just by talking; we have to snatch and pro-actively eliminate them during our Fa-study and true cultivation.
We have formed different habits and notions at different ages, through different life experiences, and in different work environments. Little by little these habits and notions develop into very strong attachments and become part of our personality. Some attachments are so strong that we know they exist, but there are others that are buried deep inside and are not easily recognizable. If someone's personality is pretty strong, they tend to be self-centered and look down on others. It is certain they won't allow others to say anything bad about them, and will explode whenever anyone does. But these are actually the substances that create a false personality in our dimension. It is its own reflection. If people don't recognize it, they will take it to be themselves, and as a result will find that that is why their level never improves, no matter how they cultivate. It weakens a person's main consciousness, and is actually the act of indulging. The reality is that the attachment is not recognized, and therefore people can't get rid of it. Master said,
"If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation." ("Cautionary Advice" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I now have a better understanding of the Fa. When we can't jump out of those human notions, we humanly foster and nurture these demonic substances. They exist in our dimension, and not only prevent us from validating the Fa, but also attract more demonic substances which act to bring more tribulations to our cultivation and break our will to remain diligent. When we are not aware of it, it forms an invisible persecution.
The situation of Fa-rectification is rapidly pushing forward. We need to dig out the root of our attachments. No matter what kind of conflicts we encounter, we must look inward. Master has said a lot regarding this. My understanding is that the phenomena that occurs in the environment around us is caused by our own hearts. I believe that I can eliminate the bad habits and all the demonic substances by "looking inward."
