(Clearwisdom.net) For a long time I was bothered by an attachment to getting angry very easily. This was especially true over the last two to three years. Fellow practitioners had pointed it out to me in the past, and I also recognized that I could not put up with it anymore. All the interferences it caused me made me calm down and give it serious consideration. As a result, I gained some insights that I would like to share with fellow practitioners.
If there was something I didn't like, if I failed to handle something properly, or if I had to wait or put in more effort on a task--all these situations made me angry. I would complain about the way things were set up or about other peoples' attitudes, etc. In short, I was, in general, highly dissatisfied and felt tired both physically and spiritually. Being in a bad mood, I began to blame others and was unable to handle other matters properly.
All along I had recognized that my ability to endure was poor, because things like having to wait or having to do more work to achieve an outcome are quite common in daily life. Why couldn't I handle those situations calmly? Was it because the demand exceeded my expectations or because I was not able to complete the job on my own terms? Was I taken by surprise or being treated as a fool? At any rate, whenever I encountered a situation like this, I thought it was for me to improve my character. However, this went on for a long time without my making any improvement.
At home I even got angry when I couldn't find something. I felt that something was acting against me and I needed to retaliate. I had a fighting spirit.
I got angry because I did not expect certain things to happen to me. I had a strong attachment to the "I" even though I knew I should let this attachment go. Since mind and spirit are one, I imagined the attachment to be a black body consisting of hate, anger, mistreatment, and anxiety. It could be an arrangement by the old forces or a result of my own karma. In the past, I did not send forth righteous thoughts or recognize my problem. In fact, I thought that being narrow-minded easily provoked was just part of my character. When I did well in studying the principles of Falun Gong, my mind was at peace. When I was lazy about my study habits, anger really controlled me, even in dealing with minor matters.
At this point I came to understand that my attachment and I were two different concepts. I want to cultivate and release all my attachments, while my attachments want to stay with me. When my righteous thoughts are strong, I can suppress those attachments until they are gone. When my thoughts are not righteous, my attachments want to expand their control over me. My old view--that I needed these notions to improve my character--is an idea used by low level cultivators. By showing a need for them, they will not go away. That is why low level cultivation is very slow. Before a significant improvement can be made, the person's life is over. He has to continue cultivation in his next life. On the other hand, Falun Dafa is the great Fa of the cosmos. In Zhuan Falun it is stated,
"Our practice has a focus and truly points out those attachments. By abandoning them, one will make very rapid progress in cultivation."
Every Dafa practitioner, when facing a conflict, needs to discover the attachment that has caused it. When he is determined to let the attachment go, the energy mechanisms and Teacher will help him remove it. Also, the practitioner can send forth righteous thought to clean the environment around himself. Relative to other traditional cultivation practices, Falun Dafa is unparalleled. The reason why Dafa practitioners can practice this way is because they are from higher realms and are obligated to save sentient beings.
Hence, we should apply Dafa directly to remove our attachments and clean our own space, as well as the dimension to which we correspond. We should not passively endure the pain inflicted upon us by our attachments. I think the reasons we passively endure our pain are threefold: (1) we do not clearly separate ourselves from our attachments, (2) we do not recognize how ugly and dirty our attachments are, leading to a lack of determination to remove them, and (3) we do not fully understand that cultivation deals directly with our minds and that we can remove evil by sending righteous thoughts and resolving injustice with compassion. If a practitioner is serious about sending righteous thoughts everyday, then his gong will be disintegrating the evil entities around and within him. These weakened entities will then be able to cause only a few problems and will have no chance to inflict pain on him. When this happens, there is only harmony around the practitioner and there is no need to find an attachment to remove.
About this attachment to being easily provoked, I found that, as I was able to separate it from myself more and more, it got weaker and weaker. I know that it is not only a personal attachment, it is also an impediment to keep me from saving sentient beings. By letting this human notion go, I feel I am growing bigger while the attachment is getting smaller. Clearly, it is being eliminated.
