(Clearwisdom.net) I started cultivation in Dafa in July 1996. However, I later took a detour, and for a while there was a barrier between me and Dafa. I came back to Dafa last year after wasting too much precious time. I would like to share my understanding of cultivation on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. I hope fellow practitioners who have the same problem can learn from my mistakes.
I have experienced physical problems since I was young. I had arthritis before I even graduated from elementary school. I was afraid to wear skirts in the summer. In winter I had so many clothes on that I could hardly bend my legs. I had Hepatitis B before I turned 30. Later I suffered from migraine headaches, breast adenosis, etc. I was always in pain.
To cure my illnesses and strengthen my body, I started practicing Qigong in 1983. I tried four or five different types of exercises from the Buddha and Taoist schools. I would go check it out whenever there was a Qigong lecture. I also tried various practices, including kowtowing to a certain direction, the so-called "grabbing method" and seeing inside the human body and healing. I'm the kind of person who is very serious and is attached to doing everything well. I spent a lot of time on those Qigong exercises and some other things. It's just like Master said, "Some people think that they have learned many practices, such as this practice or that practice, and they have a pile of graduation certificates, but their gong still has not made any progress." ("Lecture One" in Zhuan Falun) In this way, I wasted more than ten years of my time.
I started to practice Falun Gong in 1996 with the help of relatives who were practicing it. I actively participated in group Fa studies and group exercises. I felt a huge relief when I threw out the Qigong books that I had before. I told fellow practitioners that I didn't feel lonely, lost, and helpless anymore. Dafa had made me feel warm, and I was full of gratitude in my heart. I felt I had inexhaustible energy.
When the evil started the violent persecution on July 20, 1999, my home was ransacked and all of my Dafa books were taken away. I surrendered to the evil and wrote the so-called repentance statement. I felt terrible because losing one's faith is like losing one's roots. At the same time, due to the poisoning by the evil party culture, I believed their lies and felt that I could continue cultivation at home. During the next 10 years, I was on and off with Fa study and doing the exercises. I did not have anyone to share experiences with, and I did not know about the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. I heard about it two years ago, but I couldn't access it without someone to help me. My practitioner relative reminded me, and I also read some editions of Minghui Weekly. However, I was never really back into it, and I didn't do the three things.
A fellow practitioner came to visit me early last year and stayed in my home for three days. We browsed the Minghui website together, studied the Fa together, and did the exercises together. I enlightened to more cultivation principles and truly came back to Dafa. I truly thank Master for his compassionate saving and for arranging for practitioners to help me to find my way home and position myself well.
Whenever I read the sentences: "'When I come to this ordinary human society, it's just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry.' Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes." ("Lecture Nine" in Zhuan Falun) my eyes are always filled with tears. I have gratitude for Master's compassionately saving me, regret for once getting lost, and the happiness of knowing that there is hope to go home.
I was deeply touched after reading a fellow practitioner's article titled, "Following Teacher for Thousands of Miles Around China". I was touched by the footsteps of fellow practitioners following Master in his lectures, by their steadfast cultivation, by Master's compassion, and by the difficulty of Master's spreading the Fa. As I was reading the article, I wished that it never ended because I had not read enough. After I finished reading the article, my eyes were filled with tears but my mind was still on the article. I had a strong desire to write my feelings down on paper to share with fellow practitioners.
Master said in "Determination and Solidity" in Essentials For Further Advancement:
"You human beings are treasured because you are able to practice cultivation; that is why you are taught such high-level principles. You are treasured because through cultivation you are capable of becoming truly great Enlightened Beings with virtuous enlightenment and righteous Fa."
I feel very fortunate to be able to come back to Master and come back to the Fa. I will cherish this final opportunity, be a genuine disciple of Master and steadfastly cultivate in Dafa. I will eliminate all attachments and correct my mistakes based on the Fa. I will completely reject the arrangements of the old forces, including every thought. I will give myself to Master and try to catch up with the progress of Master's Fa-rectification. I will do the three things well while cultivating myself more diligently.
The above is my own understanding. Please feel free to give your comments about it.
March 9, 2010
