Improving in Cultivation Within the Family Environment

(Clearwisdom.net) We cultivate in ordinary society, and everyone has a family. Even if we don't have a job or social circle, we have our family for our cultivation environment. I feel that the tests in this environment are even harder to pass than the tests found in a social environment. When we are in society, we know that we are cultivators, therefore we need to be strict with ourselves and conform to Dafa's standards. However, as soon as we get home, we are relaxed and feel that home is our safe haven. We finally have a place to vent about the problems we encounter in society. We can talk all we want about how such and such is so bad. When we encounter a conflict with our family, we fight back without a second thought. When one's whole family cultivates in Dafa, the environment should be harmonious because everyone is supposed to look inside when faced with conflicts. In reality, it is sometimes the opposite. When the whole family practices cultivation, the conflicts can become even more difficult to solve.

My parents and my brother all practice Falun Dafa. The conflicts among them have never ceased. As for me, I have always gotten along very well with my mother. My father favors my sister over me. Whenever I had a fight with my sister, I was always the one who get blamed no matter whose fault it was. For this reason, my mother always protected me. After we started practicing Falun Dafa, my father's attitude did not change. My mother repeatedly told him, "A cultivator should treat everyone the same. You cannot treat others differently." However, my father was still the same. As a result, I didn't get along with him, so my xinxing could not improve. Even though I realized that my mentality was not right, I just could not change it.

I have many human notions and I am very talkative. One time, I developed over a dozen blisters in my mouth and could not talk or eat. My mother said, "You should mind your speech." I agreed with her. I talked too much and cared too much about some trivial things in the family. Sometimes I complained to my father if I did not agree with him. Once I realized my problem, I decided to change.

Gradually I talked less. I was happy that I was making progress. However, two days later, when my father put the flyswatter on the table, I could not stand it and said to him, "This is so dirty, and you put it on the table. At mealtime, the steamed bread will be put on top of it." My father did not say anything. I thought that he would not do it anymore, but he continued to do so. Although I did not complain, I was still upset about it.

I could not let go of my negative thoughts and started looking outward. I always found fault with my father and became less respectful of him. Sometimes I would talk back to him. One day we were watching the Shen Yun performance "The Loyalty of Yue Fei," my mother said, "You see, in ancient times, when children saw their parents, they would kneel down. Who dared to talk back? Nowadays young people are not like this." I was shocked. Wasn't she talking about me? In fact, my mother was not talking about me. But I know that Master was using my mother's words to remind me.

My face turned red. Although I am a practitioner, what I did was worse than an ordinary person. I did not respect my parents. Because I had this human heart, my father then behaved that way to provoke me so that I could find my attachment and shortcomings. There are no random occurrences on our path of cultivation. Teacher said,

"Therefore, from now on when you come across a conflict you should not consider it a coincidence. This is because when a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly. But that is not a coincidence--it is for improving your xinxing. As long as you treat yourself as a practitioner, you can handle it properly." (Zhuan Falun)

When we encounter a conflict, if we look outward and do not consider ourselves as practitioners, how can we improve without looking inside? I always saw my father's attachments and wanted to change him. Was I too attached to his attachments? As a practitioner, no matter what happens, one's heart should remain unmoved. But my heart was so moved. I didn't want to let go of my own attachments and always wanted to change others. How can I cultivate like that?

Since I realized this, I knew that I needed to change and improve. When I truly improved within the Fa, I got along better with my father. Looking back, I felt that it was not easy for him. He had borne so much hardship - his salary was withheld, and he was forced to leave home and move from place to place due to the persecution. But he is always happy. His firm belief in Dafa is truly worthy of respect. As the younger generation, we need to respect our parents, and think of them so that they don't need to worry too much. This way, they can have more time to do the three things well. This is our ultimate goal.

March 2, 2010