(Clearwisdom.net) Once, a fellow practitioner said to me, "You are so attached to yourself." I did not understand why this was so.
One day I read another practitioner's article "Cultivating Away the Fundamental Attachment." What was mentioned in the article is exactly the fundamental attachment that I had tried to dig out for so long. As Teacher said in "Toward Consummation" (Essentials for Further Advancement II), "some people think that it agrees with their own code of conduct;" I had a tendency to measure everyone's conduct with my understanding of the Fa on my level and required them to conform to that.
Carrying such a notion, I was very strict with myself. I would not allow myself to make any move that would conflict with my current understanding of the Fa. Sometimes I went to the extreme, and felt I was lonely because I had a higher level of enlightenment. I looked down upon those morally corrupt people, respected and admired people who looked very honest, educated and capable, and I set high expectations for, and admired diligent practitioners. But whenever I noticed a fellow practitioner's shortcomings, I would directly point them out without considering other people's feelings or the surrounding environment. I was impatient when I found a practitioner with any attachment, and had an urge to persuade that practitioner to completely accept my understanding of the Fa. If the practitioner did not change after repeated sharing and discussion, I would feel discouraged and become pessimistic. Why was I discouraged upon seeing other practitioners' attachments? Now I understand that it was because my fundamental attachment was challenged by the practitioner's reaction. This fundamental attachment hindered me on the path of cultivation.
This fundamental attachment not only affected my understanding of the Fa, but also made me unintentionally measure others according to my view of "the principles of being a person" or "the principles that Dafa disciples should follow." I looked outward and forced my will on others. Consequently, conflicts kept coming one after another. I felt confused and hurt.
Teacher said in "Toward Consummation" (Essentials for Further Advancement II) that,
"Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for. But when a person comes to this world, it is karmic arrangements that determine his course of life and what will be gained and lost in it. How could a person's notions determine each stage of his life? So those so-called "beautiful dreams and wishes" become pursuits that can never be realized, despite painful attachments."
All practitioners have different amounts of karma, tribulations and attachments, and live in different environments in everyday human society. None of us has the same cultivation path. We all know that different levels have different Fa. All the practitioners at different cultivation levels conduct themselves based on their own understanding of the Fa at their levels. I cannot change their course of cultivation or make them have the same understanding of the Fa that I do. When a practitioner has an attachment, it is for him to cultivate and improve. I should not hold on to the practitioner's attachment and conclude that this practitioner is not on the Fa or not diligent, or even think that this practitioner would possibly be persecuted sooner or later for his attachment.
While a practitioner has an attachment, what I can do, as a fellow practitioner, is be compassionate and tolerant, unconditionally look inward, and humbly share my understanding of the Fa with him. Improvement in cultivation depends on the practitioner himself. Teacher is always watching him and helping him. Being impatient, complaining, blaming, or being pessimistic are all reflections of the attachment to oneself. It adds pressure to the other practitioner. I myself do not cultivate in the process.
Another attachment of seeking deep understanding of the truth also bothered me and made me unable to stay composed with my cultivation state. In sharing with other practitioners, I could not truly look inward. I put more attention on figuring out whose understanding was better and higher. I spent more time reading sharing articles than reading Dafa books, and liked to discuss with practitioners rather than look inward. Consequently I was affected by practitioners' attachments and cultivation status, and even various comments from everyday people. This betrayed the cultivation principle of looking inward and cultivating xinxing.
Before I obtained Dafa, I had an unhappy relationship with my husband and felt lonely because our views of life were so different. It seemed to me so hard to find a person to talk with. After I walked into Dafa cultivation, the practitioners' noble and compassionate attitudes and behavior healed my wounded heart. Due to my short time of cultivation and limited understanding of the Fa, I failed to discern the difference between cultivation principles and the theory of being the noble everyday person that I pursued in my mind. While I diligently cultivated, I also mixed in my pursuit. I did not realize that cultivation and simply being a good person are not equivalent.
Without getting rid of the fundamental attachment, one's cultivation path will be hindered by human notions, and one will lose sight of the Fa. I would like to remind fellow practitioners who have not found or realized their fundamental attachments, to take time to think about what motivated us to walk into Dafa cultivation, and get rid of those fundamental attachments, so that we can walk steadily and better validate the Fa.
February 5, 2010
