(Clearwisdom.net) I happened to meet a practitioner who had recently been released from detention, and who is skilled with computers. I was so relieved to see him and anxiously asked him many technical questions regarding my computer. He patiently answered my questions. While we were talking, another practitioner arrived and brought a network card that I needed. As they were explaining all the details I needed to know about the card, the other practitioner asked what brand the card was. When he was told the brand name, he said, “We really shouldn’t use this brand of network cards. If you must use it, you need to download and install the software we modified for it.”
I hastily asked the practitioner, who had recently been released, if he could install it for me. He said that he couldn't because he does not have an Internet connection at home. The other practitioner then invited him to go to their home and use the Internet. He hesitated for a moment before agreeing. I could sense that he was reluctant to go.
I then recalled an incident that took place three years ago, when another practitioner, together with this practitioner that had just been released, came to our materials production site to help me fix my computer and printer. It was almost midnight by the time they had finished, and this practitioner had to rush to the railway station in order to go back home, since he had to be at work early the next morning. It took almost four hours to do the repairs, and this practitioner did not even have time to get something to drink. He then had to stand for a whole night on the train. I felt sorry about this at the time, but forgot about it soon afterward. I later heard that this practitioner had been arrested. I was sad when I heard the news, but did not look inward.
Now, three years later, I encountered this practitioner again. Although it was a brief meeting, I was surprised by his reluctance to go with the other practitioner and that he said he did not have an Internet connection at home. However, I finally looked inward and said to myself, “If only I had studied computer technology myself, if only I had not had the attachment of relying on fellow practitioners, if only I could have been considerate of practitioners' situations.” I found my fundamental attachment, the attachment of being selfish.
I would like to apologize to my fellow practitioner. My attachment increased his tribulations, reduced his time for studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, even the time for sending forth righteous thoughts, and caused a difficult situation for him since he does not have Internet access at home. My deep sorrow brought tears to my eyes. I truly feel regret. I am now determined to take care of the technical issues on my own. I must completely get rid of the attachment to relying on others, fearing difficulties, being lazy, seeking comfort, and all forms of selfishness.
I ask practitioners: If you have the means and conditions to set up a materials production site, please do set one up quickly. If you can access the Internet but do not, please do so right away. Do not ask for help whenever you want, without first trying to resolve the problem yourself. Do not be like me, full of regret when facing fellow practitioners. Teacher wants us to become powerful divine beings, and helps us to open up our wisdom at all times. All true practitioners have opportunities for improvement in cultivation. We do not have an excuse to ask others for help all the time. Relying on others and asking them for help can harm fellow practitioners, harm ourselves and cause endless regret and guilt on our cultivation paths.
This is my limited understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
