(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners around the world!
I began practicing Falun Gong in 2005. I would like to share my cultivation experience in order to validate the beauty of Dafa and express my gratitude to Teacher. For the past five years, Teacher has been looking after me.
1. Obtaining the Fa
I decided to practice Falun Gong after I read Essentials for Further Advancement, Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa and Zhuan Falun Fajie - The Law of Zhuan Falun Explained. I realized that the purpose of practicing Falun Gong was to cultivate oneself. I went to get a copy of Zhuan Falun and began to read the book all the time. However, I failed to cultivate my xinxing because of my poor enlightenment. As a result, I could only understand a little bit and was not a diligent practitioner. Seeing me in that state, Teacher arranged for other practitioners to contact me and share from the perspective of the Fa.
I gradually came to understand the vows practitioners took to help Teacher rectify the Fa and save sentient beings after reading experience sharing articles in the Minghui Weekly. I thought to myself, "If I also made the vow with Teacher and didn't do anything, it would mean that I didn't fulfill my vow. Then, how will I face Teacher?" I then had the wish to fulfill my vow.
At that time, however, we were short of truth-clarification materials. The practitioner who introduced Falun Gong to me was an elderly man and the materials he got were limited. Every time I got some materials, I would read through everything at once. I was touched by fellow practitioners' heroic deeds and great compassion. I felt so fortunate to become a particle of Dafa. I couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to melt into the Fa and do what a practitioner should do to fulfill my vow. Initially, I used the materials the elderly practitioner gave me to make more copies at a printing shop. Under Teacher's compassionate care, it went smoothly each time. At the time, the cost to make copies was 50 cents a page. I spent about 20 yuan in the beginning and gradually increased to over 100 yuan. After a period of time, I found it wasn't economical and thought it would be better if I could produce the materials myself. However, I didn't know where to buy a printer or what type I should buy or who to contact to help teach me to access the websites since I didn't know many practitioners.
When I had the thought of making the materials myself, Teacher helped guide me to the access the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. A practitioner gave me a DVD of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party in 2005. I opened the file and clicked on whatever. All of a sudden, I saw the Clearwisdom website. To remember how to get to the website later, I wrote down all the steps I had taken to get there.
When I visited the website for the very first time, my heart was filled with gratitude to Teacher. At the time, I was virtually cultivating by myself and very much needed to read other practitioners' experiences. Teacher read my mind. I was touched by the articles written by fellow practitioners and their sharing helped encourage me to be more diligent on the path of cultivation. During those several days, my xinxing improved and I felt my mind and body being purified.
Teacher will make the necessary arrangements for practitioners whenever they are in need of something. After awhile, the small materials production site at my home couldn't meet the needs of Fa-rectification, so I wanted to buy a DVD burner, but was afraid that my family wouldn't agree. Not long after I had the thought, my family wanted to buy a DVD burner. I knew it was arranged by Teacher. After the DVD burner was set up, I failed to learn how to use it for a long time. One day, I talked about it to another practitioner and after returning home, I decided to learn how to use it. In a short time, I succeeded in making a truth-clarification DVD. In a dream that night, I saw a hand over mine moving the mouse around. I knew it was Teacher. As long as a practitioner has the heart to do something, Teacher will always help.
2. Look Inward and Genuinely Cultivate Ourselves
I began to study the Fa less and less after I began using human thinking to do things to validate the Fa. I also began to have the mentality of accomplishing a task and validating myself. As a result, I created loopholes for the evil to take advantage of and I was detained twice in the past five years. Teacher's compassion helped to dissolve the tribulation.
Now when faced with difficulties, I unconditionally look inward, remember Teacher's teachings, maintain a calm mind, and firmly believe in Teacher and Dafa.
When truly looking inward, I failed to let go of selfishness, the nature of the old universe, even though I had been cultivating for many years. I thought I had cultivated very well, since I talked a lot about it and took every opportunity to show off or validate myself. I forgot that my mission was to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. I also realized that I had an attachment to fame and gain, the mentality of competitiveness, laziness, and was sloppy when doing things. I basically found all kinds of human attachments, and I didn't have a clear and clean mind or compassion. I wasn't at all like a practitioner. My cultivation level was low, but I still didn't realize it, thinking I was doing well and had cultivated to a very high level. Teacher said,
"In qigong practice, however, going awry and following an evil way simply refer to people searching for external help. With Buddhism in particular, if you search for external help, you are said to have taken a demonic way." (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I felt ashamed. After finding my shortcomings, I instantly rectified myself and tried to be a genuine practitioner by cultivating diligently and being a better person until I reached consummation.
3. Balance the Family and Validate Dafa
If we want to validate the Fa well, we need to start with our family. My family misunderstood Dafa because I had been detained twice. As a result, they created a lot of interference in my cultivation. They would get very scared whenever I wanted to go out to clarify the truth. If I wanted to change their attitude toward Dafa and get rid of interferences, I realized that I had to be more compassionate and understanding. Since they have a predestined relationship with me and Teacher arranged for them to be at my side, I have an obligation to save them. I decided to do my best to save them.
At the beginning, I had to be tolerant. I didn't complain or quarrel with them, quietly did all the household work, made them better food, and did whatever they asked me to do. No matter how they hurt me, I simply took it silently and treated them with compassion. I kept Teacher's words in mind,
"Cultivation is the process that enables a human being to ascend to heaven and become a god, so how could it not be hard?" ("My Version of a "Stick Wake-up")
I told myself no matter what my family said or wanted me to do, I would always steadfastly cultivate Dafa. Their attitude began to gradually change. I then took the opportunity to clarify the facts to them a little at a time. I wrote a letter to my husband to sincerely apologize to him for all the things that I didn't do well in the past and sincerely asked him to forgive me. I also apologized for the troubles and pains I may have brought him because of the mistakes I made during my cultivation. I told him that I am still in the process of cultivating, so I may still make mistakes and that I would rectify myself.
I then told him that the persecution that shouldn't have happened in the first place was caused by the wicked Chinese Communist Party, and not Teacher or Dafa. Teacher always teaches people to be good based on the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I also told him that our Teacher came here to save people, so there was nothing wrong with that.
Before I left the house, I left the letter somewhere he would easily see when he came home. When I returned home that day, I could see that he had cried. From then on, his attitude toward me changed. My family no longer interferes with my cultivation. Under Teacher's compassionate care, I finally passed this test.
I think the reason our families have misunderstandings of or even committed crimes against Dafa is because we failed to validate the Fa at home and we didn't do well in front of them.
On the path of cultivation, I have had a lot of tests to pass and have stumbled along. With Teacher's support, I have been able to make it to this day. Although I still have attachments to let go of, I am determined to cultivate and rectify myself well to better validate the Fa.
I heshi to Master and to fellow practitioners.
