We Need to Cultivate Solidly

(Clearwisdom.net) I have been cultivating for over ten years and when I look back at the road I have taken, I feel that cultivating solidly is essential for Dafa practitioners. Whether one is a coordinator, or enjoying doing a Dafa project using a special skill; whether a person is financially well-off or not; these are just fleeting illusions. Only when one cultivates solidly can one meet the standard of life in the new universe.

Prior to July 20, 1999, I used to be somewhat of a "celebrity" in our region. At the time I was a local coordinator. Because of my seniority, education, and position, as well as my eloquence, I attracted attention wherever I went. It provided me occasions to show off. I'd been to Shenyang, Tianjin, Changchun, Dalian, and Inner Mongolia to have experience sharing with local practitioners. At the time, I felt that I wasn't an average person. When I attended sharings with practitioners, I would sit in the front or higher up to attract attention. I usually talked on and on, as if I was a cadre or high-level official. I would point out fellow practitioners' deficiencies and judge them based on Dafa's principles. However, when a practitioner points out others' shortcomings often, this may form an illusion among the group that this person cultivates better. Gradually, more and more practitioners, especially some older practitioners with less education, would come to ask me, "What should I do with this thing?" "I have lots of interference in my family, what should I do?" etc. Practitioners would call me every day.

How was my own cultivation state, though? When someone has the mindset of an everyday human, he will feel that he is pretty good, or even think he is an "elite" cultivator. I mistakenly thought that because I studied the Fa and did the exercises daily; and I was able to overcome tribulations, I was doing great. I thought, "Otherwise, how could I give advice to others?" Whenever I read a paragraph of the Fa, or a passage in which Teacher pointed out a problem, I would immediately think, "Oh, in this passage Teacher is referring to certain people in our region." At that time I seemed to be studying the Fa not for myself, but for others. When I saw the shortcomings and flaws in fellow practitioners, I would casually say, "How could you do it this way? Teacher said..." I cultivated for others instead of cultivating myself, and this was not the correct state to be in.

In other words, I was not cultivating away my own human mindset and attachments. The things I said sounded correct on the surface, but I had too much of an everyday human mindset inside. As a result, I was persecuted miserably and barely made it back from the detention center. Owing to the harsh environment and repeated interference from the evil, I often fell into a state of loneliness and helplessness. Even in this state, I still held onto my "leadership status," and still attempted to give pointers to others. Once, when several fellow practitioners were arrested, I was scared out of my wits. Those few days I was constantly thinking, "Will the police come to arrest me? Do they have something on me?" I totally lost my resolve in the Fa and had no righteous thoughts. I used ordinary means to protect myself, instead. What manifested next were ruthless tactics from the old forces. A friend who was working in a public security office told me quietly, "Leave quickly, you are in danger!" "But I haven't done anything!" "Oh, you say you haven't done anything? Many of the people who were arrested all pointed at you. Leave quickly." While I was in the state of extreme tension and fear, I had a dream. In the dream, I was surrounded on three sides, and there was only one gap where I could escape. I thought that my being surrounded was part of the old forces' arrangements, and this was happening because I was not clear about the Fa and had an everyday person's mindset.

One day, I made a decision to leave home to get away from the persecution. I made arrangements to take care of some things at home and work, and then hurriedly left. Prior to my departure, my wife cried and said, "Do you have to go?" I said, "Yes." I thought I would never come back. Seeing my wife and family's helpless expressions, I hesitated to leave home, but I thought it was worth it because I was doing it on account of Dafa. I thought that although my family wasn't with me, they would be blessed. My understanding was at this level at that time.

After this, I got to know some fellow practitioners, since we all moved from one place to another, and shared temporary housing as a group. Although the practitioners looked after me and treated me well out of deference for my old age, I still felt my studying the Fa, cultivating my mind, and truth-clarification were lacking a sound basis. It was like I was floating in the water, my soul was without a root, and my cells were not assimilating to Dafa. My rate of improvement was slow. My greatest suffering was the feeling of loneliness, the loneliness of leaving home and without the support of the broader group of Dafa practitioners. In those days, I felt each day was very long, and always wondered when the Fa-rectification would end. I didn't cultivate solidly, nor did I remove my human mindset, especially the attachment to fear. I often dodged police when I saw them on the streets. Once, one of the practitioners that shared the apartment with me said, "The street committee and police came earlier to check the people who reside here. It seems we should be moving now." I was scared and said, "Oh, what should we do? Are you scared?" She said, "No. I am not afraid." I looked at her-- she was leaning back on the sofa, exhausted and with her eyes closed. She had been wandering away from home longer than I had. At that moment, I felt a great deal of admiration for her courage. It was the last time I saw her. I hadn't expected that she would be persecuted to death later. When I learned of her death I thought, if she hadn't wandered away from home, would she have been persecuted to death? Might she have left her home for the same reasons that I did, which were not in line with the Fa, and done so to her lasting regret because of that bad decision?

During this period, I constantly looked for an opportunity to go abroad, to join overseas Dafa practitioners. The real reason that I was doing it, though, was to avoid cultivating solidly and to escape persecution. But I got hints from Teacher that told me it was dangerous to be doing that. So, I went through hardship and frustration day after day.

During the period between July 20, 1999 and prior to leaving home, although I had seemingly done lots of work for Dafa and others thought I had cultivated well, was I really doing well? Today I realize that I didn't cultivate wholeheartedly. I had lost a lot of valuable time that I could no longer make up. Before the persecution, my cultivation was very superficial and although I had cultivated away some of the human mindset, I hadn't changed much deep down. I had the serious human mindsets of fear, seeking fame and gain, and lust. Even when encountering tribulations, I didn't remove my attachments to make improvements; instead, I used human rationale to cover it up. If I had cultivated solidly instead of doing that, I wouldn't have had the loopholes to allow the evil to persecute me.

One day, I suddenly thought, "Why should I wander around? Has Teacher arranged this? What have I done wrong? The evil has no reason to persecute me. I should go home and cultivate in an upright manner at home." When I shared these thoughts, the practitioners who were wandering about with me strongly opposed it: "Going back is the same as waiting for persecution. Aren't things pretty good here? How can you be so unworthy and be homesick?" However, after I thought about it at length, I decided to go home.

After returning home, Communist Party officials interrogated me as to my prior whereabouts, hoping to capture those other practitioners. I just insisted that I had gone out to do business. The matter was left unresolved. Later, I kept thinking that I shouldn't have left home. If I hadn't left, perhaps nothing would have happened. But because I left, it got their attention and brought trouble. Wherever I went, the evil would not stop pursuing me, because they could clearly see my human mindset.

I often thought of those practitioners who were still wandering around to avoid persecution. Shouldn't some of them end this state? As for myself, I could have practiced at home without encountering any danger. I ran away because of my fear of persecution. Dafa practitioners are full of righteous thoughts today and are not the same as when the persecution started. The power of sending forth righteous thoughts can stifle the evil, and along with the overall coordination of fellow practitioners, we can alter the local situation to prevent the persecution. Also, through overseas practitioners' efforts to clarify the truth, the environment is getting better. Teacher has not arranged a cultivation environment of leaving home to avoid persecution; instead, it is the old forces who imposed it. Of course, each practitioner's situation is different and cannot be generalized.

When I returned home, an elderly lady, whom I thought hadn't cultivated very well, said to me, "We need to cultivate solidly. You see, someone didn't cultivate solidly and thus got sick, and there is another person who quit practicing because of not cultivating solidly." Her every word struck my heart and I was very surprised. I remember that I had rarely heard her saying anything before, except when she would ask me how to do this or that in cultivation. It appears to me that during this time, she was really cultivating solidly, improving step by step.

Many practitioners in China are attached to being a coordinator. Teacher has talked about this topic several times. Whenever I saw this situation, I would think: Fellow Dafa coordinator, you must cultivate solidly! I remember when I was a coordinator; it felt so impressive, but the results were so poor. Do not place yourself above others. Teacher said regarding coordinators:

"Their members are not supposed to be exemplars, and they are not Master. But you should treasure this form, as it can help to coordinate things locally so that the Fa is validated better and sentient beings are saved more effectively."

"If you fail to improve and achieve Consummation, where will the sentient beings that you save go? Who will take them?" ("Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference")

Teacher does not consider us as officials, so why should we think we are officials? We even feel superior about it sometimes. Isn't this deceiving ourselves? People won't understand the truth because one has the gift of gab, but they will be positively affected when they can see and feel the results of our solid cultivation.