(Clearwisdom.net) In "Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference," Master said,
"But what I hope is that after taking a fall, you will all learn something good from it. Don't always take away bad things from your experiences. When you learn bad things, you are in fact using human thinking to consider things, and becoming more cunning, and sly, which means you are becoming worse. I have spoken with you before about what a bad person is: he is someone who is cunning. Whereas someone who is kind-hearted and whose thinking is not that complicated is a good person."
I realize that I have been drawing "negative lessons" instead of "positive lessons," just like Master said. I have turned myself into a cunning, slick, clever and complicated person. From now on, I shall focus on the positive aspects. I shall utilize my mental effort and wisdom in clarifying the truth.
I used to be a practitioner with a simple mind many years ago. I had a pure mind and didn't have cunning thoughts like others in society. I coordinated well with other practitioners at that time. Once, a practitioner told me about the conflicts among other local practitioners, and I felt such conflicts were inconceivable. I said to him, "Why don't they share with each other openly? Why don't they communicate with each other?"
At that time, I often talked about "looking at practitioners' strengths," I never got angry as I could always find a practitioner's strength. I had no conflicts with practitioners, and was happy every day.
Then the environment suddenly changed and everything seemed different. Maybe the evil forces attempted to damage Dafa with the excuse that "Dafa practitioners' environment is so pure. We've got to create trouble to test them, and to demonstrate that Dafa has come through the most complicated environment." Practitioners who got along suddenly ran into complicated conflicts. All sorts of filthy stories were heard - playing dirty tricks, making use of others, or even having affairs. A practitioner who had an affair didn't feel ashamed for tarnishing Dafa's image. Instead, she retaliated and took revenge on anyone who refused to follow her or hide the affair for her. She spread rumors about other practitioners' shortcomings. She claimed that other practitioners didn't welcome her, and refused to allow them to come to the group Fa study. Conflicts were created out of nowhere.
I had not only to oppose the persecution, but also to pay attention to the few practitioners who pulled rugs from under my feet. I faced an extremely complicated and difficult situation.
I learned some negative lessons, just as Master described. Gradually, I learned to be cunning and clever. When other practitioners played tricks on me, I learned to guard against them. When other practitioners presented me with schemes, I learned to respond perfunctorily. Even though I would like to offer my winter clothes and gloves to practitioners who were persecuted and suffered from cold, I was concerned about their resentment and feelings. I was afraid my kindness would only bring trouble to me, and learned to say high-sounding words that no one could complain about.
I was pleased with myself. I thought I would not have learned such ("negative") lessons without the tricks other practitioners had played on me, or the losses that I suffered. I took these experiences of dealing with people and guarding against others as valuable lessons in life.
I stubbornly adhered to my notions. In my mind, a cunning person who is good at defending himself gains more benefits. A dumb person who is not good at defending himself has to swallow his losses. So I tried my best to learn to be cunning and clever. As I accumulated more and more experience in coping with people, my mind became more and more complicated.
Master said,
"But no matter how smart or cunning a person is, everything ends up the same in the end. Let's take the case of someone who is very dumb. You may find one person stupid and naive, while another is very cunning. But no matter how you live your life, the outcome is the same. It definitely won't change any just because a person is cunning, nor will it change any because a person is naive. All that being cunning can do is to turn you into a worse person, and while you create karma you will slide down. As your surroundings and you yourself become tense and strained, the minds of those around you will in turn grow even more complicated, and then their complicated thinking will in turn cause you to grow still worse." ("Fa Teaching at the U.S. Capital")
Master seemed to have read my mind and pointed out my wrong thinking. There is nothing I can argue for myself.
I watched a truth-clarification DVD and there was an interview with a western emcee of Shen Yun Performing Arts. In the program, the Chinese host asked him, "Why did you join Shen Yun?" He replied, "So that I can enjoy Chinese food, and learn Chinese ..." The Chinese host couldn't help bursting into laughter. I also laughed in my mind. I was not laughing at the emcee; instead, I was stirred with deep feeling. I think Chinese people can all understand why we laughed - we think the westerner is just too naive. Only a westerner would say he joined Shen Yun to enjoy Chinese food. A Chinese person would never say anything like that. He would elaborate a multitude of dignified and glorious reasons. Chinese people whose minds have been poisoned by the Party's culture are used to a distorted thinking that is completely different from that of westerners in a normal society. The mainland Chinese people's thinking is extremely complicated. Everyone is overly astute and speaks in a roundabout way in order to avoid any losses. Everyone believes it's good to be cunning and no one wants to suffer any losses. People take this degenerate notion as themselves.
After studying "Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference," I realize that I must change my notions that have formed in interpersonal relationships. I shall look at issues with compassion rather than resentment. I should be down-to-earth in saving people, rather than just paying lip-service.
This is what I have enlightened to. If there is anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
