(Clearwisdom.net) Before I obtained the Fa in September 1997, I was very concerned about fame and money. I did not want to cultivate after reading Zhuan Falun because I was studying at the university. But eventually I started practicing Dafa due to Master's thoughtful arrangement and my schoolmates' kind help. I noticed that my thoughts were cleansed by Dafa because I could not remember swearing or using dirty words any more when I wrote essays. Witnessing the changes in myself, I became diligent in cultivation.
I cultivated and got rid of attachments in the two years before the persecution began in July 1999. However, when I look back now, I realize that I was not a mature cultivator and did not recognize a lot of attachments that I still held on to. I have now been practicing Dafa for 12 years, during which time I have made many mistakes. Cultivation will not change according to societal changes as it concerns only a cultivator's heart and inner improvement. Although I was dismissed by the university and persecuted at a forced labor camp for two years after 1999, I have never given up cultivation.
When I re-examine my two years in the forced labor camp, I think my cultivation state was stuck at a certain level and I had a very poor understanding of cultivation. It was until I got out of the camp that I realized that I was stuck in an attachment to consummation, which I thought was the fundamental cause of my imprisonment. I also used to follow other practitioners and do whatever they did well in their situations, regardless of my own situation. Just like what Master said in "Path" in Essentials for Further Advancement II, I did not find my own path. Others went to Beijing to appeal, so I did too; others distributed truth clarifying materials, so I did too; others acted based on their enlightenment, so I did too. How I was arrested was related to a sharing article I read on Minghui by a fellow practitioner, describing how he distributed materials in an open and dignified manner--I wanted to do the same. I went out to distribute materials without any consideration of safety even when someone came up to warn me about the police checking people on the street. I regarded the concern for safety as recognition of the evil, so I approached the police in an "open" manner and was arrested as a result. Then I also copied other practitioners' protest methods, such as hunger strikes or refusal to dress in inmate clothing, but every effort ended without a positive outcome.
My cultivation evolved into a new state once I recognized my shortcomings. I felt that I really understood cultivation now and had a new understanding every day. The path that harmonizes everything and is guided by Master is different from any other cultivation way in history. The path is perfect, as Dafa disciples are against the persecution and cultivating in the thick of society. Without rituals, Dafa disciples look like everyone else in the world. If we all walk our paths well, how could the persecution continue?
Being good people in society gives Dafa disciples a chance to clarify the truth about Dafa to people. Once people witness our behavior, they will not believe the Chinese Communist Party's lies any more. Many of my friends and relatives have said that I look very young, always like in my twenties. One co-worker said that my skin was like a baby's, while others complimented my healthy looks. The results of my cultivation not only benefit my body, but also validate the Fa.
My work achievements and good relationships with people lay a fine foundation for me to validate the Fa. A stable job and excellent income also provide me the possibility to do a lot of Dafa work. Because I have been walking the path well, the old forces are not able to persecute me again, so that I can do my best to save as many people as possible. My parents and my brother had practiced the Dafa exercises before the persecution, but stopped for a long period of time due to fear of persecution. They now have returned to cultivation, as has my brother's wife.
Cultivation is an endless path. When I felt that I had done well in every respect, I started thinking that I didn't need to cultivate my heart any longer and was karma free. So I would often skip the articles about sickness karma on the Minghui website. Later, I realized the importance of this issue, especially on one particular problem. My workload was heavy and I had to work overtime quite often. Not only did I have to work on weekends, but working till midnight or overnight was not uncommon. As the whole government's system was corrupt, any regulations protecting employees' rights were merely words on paper--no employer would carry them out. I started hating the job and even cried about being mistreated once. I was also stuck on thoughts of calculating worldly losses and gains: I had been diligent in cultivation and sacrificed a lot to validate the Fa and clarify the truth; I didn't even have a wife and family, though I had been popular at university; my work was so tiring, and so on.
As I didn't overcome the tribulation several times, I found myself terribly fatigued: after coming home from work, I shivered badly in bed as if I had been about to die of fatigue. I was scared because I had never had this condition before. I didn't know what to do. In pain and desperate, every second seemed like a long unbearable period of time to me. I considered whether it was caused by the heavy workload, but none of my co-workers had ever heard of this problem. The last time I had this problem, with Master's guidance, I finally enlightened that it was caused by my complaining about the work and I did not realize suffering was meant for me to cultivate better. So I did not complain any longer and the problem has not happened again. Cultivation requires resolve to endure suffering, and a cultivator must change his or her ordinary notions about hard work and take on the suffering.
The above are my understandings of the Fa. Please point out anything inappropriate.
