To Let Go of Attachments, We Really Have to Treat Ourselves as Cultivators - Some Recent Understandings
(Clearwisdom.net) I have recently noticed more of my attachments.
Firstly, I am very greedy when it comes to eating. When eating a meal, I often think about what to eat for the next meal. I also prefer strong pungent flavors. Sometimes I would make a list of what to eat in the next few days and when to eat it. Now I realize this is an attachment. Instead of having a strong desire to eat, a practitioner should naturally eat what is available. The purpose of food is to provide energy and substance for the body to properly function. Any pursuit beyond this is an attachment.
I have decided to let go of this attachment starting from today. I will try not to think about it, since the more I think, the more thoughts will come up on what to eat and when to eat. Except for three meals a day and special circumstances, I will not buy something in particular to satisfy my own desires.
Secondly, my main consciousness is not strong enough to control myself. I was often disturbed by various attachments, notions, and impure thoughts inside me. As a result, I found myself unable to walk the path with a clear and rational mind.
Before cultivation, I was like this and I had not done anything successfully. This was because I could never finish what I started. Either I was distracted or I gave up. This created much difficulty in my study and work. After beginning to cultivate, this also negatively affected my practice. For example, for a long time, I have not been able to keep up on practicing the exercises. My plan to study the Fa or do the exercises would easily change. It seemed to me that I was always controlled by sudden thoughts, which caused me to be unable to do things well.
Today, I was thinking about why my main consciousness was weak.
Before I started practicing Falun Gong, I used to think that perception was better than rationality. Then, isn't perception following one's sensory feelings? Plus, I like to do things at will and act on something based on my feelings. This has become a stubborn notion. Before I had been intentionally strengthening that character of following my own feeling. Now thinking back, it was not truly me; however, I had strengthened the habit of giving up my main consciousness during the process.
People around me often said I was not concerned about anything. If that is true, what was I thinking about? In fact, my real thinking was suppressed by all kinds of human notions and pursuits. They were running around in my mind, and as a result, I was as if in a trance every day.
Thinking about my poor self-control and weak main consciousness, I realized I didn't treat myself as a cultivator at all times. An everyday person acts out of his or her own will and comfort. How can a cultivator act that way? Following one's own will is to obey various notions, karma and foreign beings. A cultivator should treat himself, as well as daily activities, with rationality. In fact, if we can live with rationality to arrange our daily life, strengthen the main consciousness while suppressing human notions, this is indeed a process of cultivation. If we don't want to live a rational life, and only want to follow our own will, it actually pushes away the suffering we have to endure. A cultivator should consider hardship as joy.
Now, I have finally found the fundamental cause. It is because I did not truly treat myself as a cultivator and did not completely let go of human notions.
I think from now on, I will constantly remind myself to act as a Dafa cultivator and diligently discipline myself with the requirements of the Fa.