(Clearwisdom.net) The persecution began not long after I began practicing Falun Gong in March 1999. The story of Jesus' crucifixion often occurred to me, and I felt I could face death bravely. With no fear, I was able to practice and study the Fa in my dorm openly and nobly. My roommate and his friends admired me for my courage and conviction.
However, with the escalation of the persecution, as well as the continued exposure of the inhuman torture of practitioners, I started to realize that I had a strong attachment to fear, because I found my heart racing during my first time distributing truth-clarification materials. In fact, I was so afraid that I returned all the materials to other practitioners.
Through Fa study and experience sharing, I strengthened my thoughts: "I will practice cultivation in Dafa steadfastly no matter what." I realized I must follow the requirements of the Fa, so I started to talk about Falun Gong and the persecution with my acquaintances and to mail letters to those I couldn't reach in person. I gradually increased my audience, and became better and better at doing it. In the beginning, I wasn't knowledgeable enough in talking with people about the persecution, but after reading more and more stories from the truth-clarification pamphlets, I became more and more familiar with how to go about it. As a matter of fact, truth-clarification is nothing but telling people what is truly happening and speaking about justice for Dafa. There is nothing to be afraid of, because after all, what we do is encouraging people to follow virtue, which is a good thing.
As long as I followed the Fa, I could often feel Master's merciful encouragement. For example, I mailed several letters but did not know the effect they were having. A few days later, I went to the neighborhood committee to do some personal business, and happened to see the chairperson handing over a letter to his coworker, saying, "Take a look at the letter from Falun Gong." I leaned over and peeked, it was my letter! (They did not know I was a practitioner) Master's arrangements have strengthened my confidence in truth-clarification and helped me remove my fear.
In July 2003, I read a newspaper advertisement about getting a printer for free with the purchase of a new computer, and thought, "I could make truth-clarification materials by myself!" I bought the computer and printer, but was afraid to connect to the Internet. I had taken computer courses in college, so I was able to print truth-clarification materials very easily. Besides mailing letters, I have made some materials to supply fellow practitioners. But the supply soon exceeded the demand, so I hoped someone could help me distribute the materials.
One day, while studying the Fa, I had a righteous thought, "Why don't I take the lead to distribute the materials?" So I took some with me and set on my bicycle. When I felt afraid, I told myself repeatedly that it was the evil that is afraid because it is being disintegrated, and continued distributing my materials. After a few trips, I covered the entire neighborhood and gained a lot of confidence. One day, I got ready and went to a practitioner's home, and he joined me. I later found out that he had been doing it all along without bragging about it. That night, I had a dream: I was late for work, but my boss and coworkers had left me a bowl of fruit. I tasted it, and alas, it was divine fruit and tasted so wonderful! From the dream I understood that Master was encouraging me: Even though I stepped out late, Master has still prepared a wonderful future for me.
Looking back, although I had a lot of attachments, Master has been watching over me all the time, and the Fa has been in control all the time. In my understanding, if one indeed follows the Fa, the evil dares not to touch him or her, even if he or she has attachments, because the mighty power of Dafa will be manifested in different levels. The Fa has higher requirements for practitioners at different levels, and as long as one has met the requirements, corresponding achievements will manifest. Therefore, if one is afraid of doing something, they should just try it, as long as his/her base is saving sentient beings and validating the Fa, he/she will find that every step of theirs is breaking the conventional way of thinking and attachments, and strengthening righteous faith.
One day in 2005, I started visiting the Minghui website to download materials. I clicked some wrong buttons and the firewall kept sending warnings. I was afraid and thus dreamed that night that the police came to arrest me. I got up at 3:00 am to hide materials and equipment. I wondered what to do, and realized that I should study the Fa and strengthen righteous thoughts! When I dreamed of the same thing again, I did what I learned from a fellow practitioner and sent righteous thoughts: I am doing the most righteous thing of saving sentient beings, and no persecution is allowed! I spoke to the printer, "I believe Master and the Fa, you and I will be safe." From then on, I never had that kind of dream, and have successfully maintained the material supply site for my area.
From studying the Fa, I have come to realize that we must excel at everything we do including equipment, supplies and quality. And I was able to do this. Practitioners all cherished the materials I made and told me that, on a few occasions, they saw the materials glowing while they were being distributed.
Dafa has molded me into a particle among the greater body of Fa-rectification Dafa disciples, fearless of death in saving sentient beings during the unprecedented red terror of the Chinese Communist Party's rule. If every Dafa disciple has come to validate the Fa, and each one of us is going to leave our path of enlightenment for the future, then let mine be "turning a coward into a diamond" under Dafa's guidance! I have to pause here to express my incomparable respect to our esteemed Master, and endless gratitude to Dafa!
In over nine years of cultivation practice in Dafa, I have shaken off chronic bronchitis and become completely free of illnesses. Through cultivation practice, I have removed my attachment to personal gain, and changed from seeking reward to seeking nothing for all the work I do. I follow my supervisor's arrangements and never complain. My coworkers often admire how freely and gracefully I live. All these are because I have the Fa in my heart, which is what truly matters,
"What everyday people want is personal gain and how to live well and comfortably. Our practitioners are not this way, but exactly the opposite. We do not seek what everyday people want. Instead, what we get is something everyday people cannot obtain--even though they want to--except through cultivation practice." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four)
Among my classmates, some have become multi-millionaires, but looking at their lives has made me cherish my chance to practice cultivation in Dafa even more.
Cultivation practice has changed me from an unsociable and calculating person to a warmhearted and generous person. I get along with my coworkers and have clarified the facts to them. Most of them have chosen a bright future by quitting the Communist Party and its affiliated associations. Recently, an apprentice of mine had a car accident, but because he often chanted "Falun Dafa is good," he was unharmed in the accident. Moreover, he constantly called to Master sincerely in his heart, and after the accident, he was able to take care of car repairs with just ten percent of its supposed cost. He has witnessed Dafa's mighty virtue and is now spreading the blessings to his surroundings.
This concludes my limited understandings. Please kindly point out anything improper.
