(Clearwisdom.net) Two recent incidents gave me a great shock. Each time I felt fear after the incident, and I told myself that the only choice for us in a critical moment is to believe in Master and the Fa. Through these two incidents, I realize that my level of belief in Master and the Fa is far from enough.
One of these incidents happened in a dream, and the other happened in real life.
In my dream, I was somehow caught in a quagmire and sank deeper and deeper. I kept crying, "Mom," but she just lightly replied to my cries and didn't come to save me. Then, I exerted my greatest effort to shout, "Mom!" But she still didn't come to save me. At this critical moment, I suddenly remembered a part of Master's lecture in "Touring North America to Teach the Fa:"
"When the evil was beating them they forgot that they were Dafa disciples, and they didn't think, 'I'll ask Master to help me.' Or, when some people did ask Master for help, they had a strong attachment of fear. When they were beaten and in a lot of pain, many of them cried out, 'Oww! Mom!' They completely treated this persecution as a persecution of ordinary human beings against other human beings."
I told myelf in my dream, "I am a Dafa disciple. How can I cry out to ordinary people for help instead of Master? Am I the same as those who cried 'Oww! Mom!?'" Then I firmly shouted, "Master, save me!" Amazingly, after shouting just one time, I felt some power quickly scoop me out of the quagmire and take me back to the shore. My heart was quaking, and I suddenly woke up. Afterward, I felt fear about this dream. I could no longer fall asleep and reproached myself for not having asked Master for help at the critical moment, even as I gratefully thanked Master for what he revealed.
I repeatedly considered this dream. What did Master want to reveal? I looked inside bit by bit. How good it would be if I asked Master for help the first time, without those ordinary thoughts. My cultivation was not solid. There must be something I didn't practice well, or where I admitted the arrangement by the old forces, so they set a quagmire and let me sink deeper and deeper in order to finally destroy me. Then what attachment was it that the old forces had exploited? All of a sudden I thought of the persecution of my body by the evil during this period. Although I didn't go to the hospital, take medicine, or get injections like the practitioners who didn't pass the test of sickness karma, I bought some milk powder and soy milk to drink in order to improve my nutrition and health through ordinary people's methods, which actually gave the evil an excuse to persecute me. I hated the smell of milk before, but now I loved it. I hated the smell of soy milk before, but now I loved it. Such was my attachment to enjoying the ordinary life. It was just a false appearance that the evil created in order to destroy me, under the pretext of making me healthy.
Once I saw through the evil's trap, I no long thought that milk or soy milk smelled good anymore and I had to spit them out after I drank them. (I'm not saying that practitioners shouldn't have milk or soy milk, I mean that we shouldn't have the attachment to them, believing that they will make us healthy.) So I straightaway gave those products to the elders in my family who don't practice cultivation. At this point, another part of Master's teachings floated before my eyes:
"You are not forced by anyone, and neither do you force yourself to not eat the meat. Instead, this comes from your own mind. After reaching this level, you will not be able to eat meat, as it is being reflected from the gong. If you really swallow the meat, you will indeed throw up." (Zhuan Falun)
The other incident happened just one week after I had that dream. My son is in the 6th grade and lives in the school dormitory five kilometers away. He usually comes home for the weekend and returns to school before 7:30 a.m. on Mondays. I don't usually accompany him to school, but that week it was raining heavily with thunder and lightning. Besides, the double railway tracks on his way to school temporarily had no guardrails or warning signals due to construction. Only bikes could pass. Therefore, I planned to go with him to school after 6:10 a.m. when I had finished sending forth righteous thoughts.
Due to the bad weather, we left home very early. When we arrived at the railway tracks, no one was there. We couldn't hear the trains due to the thunder and whistling wind. We couldn't see the trains due to the heavy rain and fog. We could only pass over by feel. We had to lift our bikes to go over the tracks that had stones in between. Not only that, the tracks are two-way.
Following my son, I crossed the tracks. Suddenly, I heard my son, who had already passed the last track, shouting in alarm, "Hurry up, Mom! The train is coming!" Suddenly, the train appeared, but I still had one more track to cross. Remembering Master, I almost shouted out, "Master, save me!" As if it had eyes, the train slowed down suddenly as it came up to me. As soon as I crossed the last track, the train hurtled by. My heart quaked again. Controlling my fluttering heart due to fear, I once more thanked our revered Master. Thankful tears, mixed with rain, obscured my vision.
My son said to me with a quaking voice, "It is so dangerous! It came so close! It is probably because Mom usually practices the Dafa that accumulates great virture that Heaven was with you!" I told him, "It is Master who protected me! Thank you so much, Master!"
Looking back at these two incidents that moved my heart so profoundly, I used human thoughts first and then remembered to ask Master for help. I realize that my cultivation is still not solid. When will I remember to ask Master and Dafa first? When will my practice reach a level where I believe in Master and Dafa whether I am in a dream, in real life, or in dangerous circumstances? Only when I study the Fa more, follow Master's directions, totally deny the arrangements by the old forces, follow the Fa no matter what, consider sentient beings' every word and action, and wholeheartedly believe in Master will that finally be true!
September 14, 2009
