Raising Children Following the Fa, Not Sentiment

(Clearwisdom.net) My sister and her two-and-a-half-year-old son came to visit my family for a couple of days. My nephew is an agile child, and my young daughter enjoyed his presence. But occasionally, some bad elements in his mind surfaced, and he would push my daughter with his hands, causing her to fall on the ground, or he would kick her leg out of the blue. My daughter, being just a bit more than one year old, was not able to protect herself or do anything about it but cry.

We all tried to warn the boy gently, and although I didn't lose my temper during the incident, it still bothered me somewhat, mainly due to sentiment towards my child. When they left, I even had some angry thoughts toward my nephew. I tried to look inside to discover what this incident meant and why I witnessed it in my home.

My wife happened to be a bit upset as well, and suddenly she said to me: "Look, when our daughter grows up a bit, we need to teach her to protect herself. If someone punches her, she should also punch him. If someone kicks her, she will kick back, so this way nobody will take advantage of her."

At that moment, an alarm went off instantly in my head, "Wait, isn't this exactly the opposite of what Master teaches us about educating our children?" Indeed, as Master says in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Two:

"In educating a child, an adult often teaches him, "You should learn to be smart," so that in the future he will get a foothold in ordinary human society. From the perspective of our universe, "to be smart" is already wrong, for we require following the course of nature and caring little for personal gain. Being so smart, he intends to pursue self-interest. "Whoever bullies you, go to his teacher and find his parents." "Pick up money if you see it on the ground." The child is taught this way. From childhood to adulthood, as he receives more things, he will gradually become increasingly selfish in ordinary human society. He will take advantage of others and lose de."

Now I got it. Although I accepted this principle on the theoretical level, I didn't think about it thoroughly while raising my own child, and didn't really believe that this was the best way to teach her. From this incident, I understood that we ought to educate our children according to the Fa, not our sentimentality and human-level principles. Only this way can we help them build a solid foundation for their entire lives. Of course, we should protect our children the best we can, but we shouldn't be overly sensitive when they experience some loss or suffering, since that is also a part of life, be it reducing karma or eliminating attachments.