(Clearwisdom.net)
I didn't have a deep understanding of the Fa principles when the evil persecution first started. I simply felt I needed to do something to validate the Fa. Because of my attachment to doing things, I was illegally arrested and I have been illegally imprisoned for nine years.
I am still under persecution in a prison right now. I'm deeply moved when I hear about or read articles on how fellow practitioners validate the Fa and save sentient beings. I'd like to share the lessons that I have learned during my cultivation. Please correct me if I write anything inappropriate.
After ten years of persecution, some fellow practitioners have developed a notion that as Dafa practitioners, we will be persecuted. Because of that notion, sometimes they felt helpless and became inactive. When a problem surfaced requiring some action, they would first worry that they'd be persecuted. This is actually the attachment that needs to be eliminated.
We need to change this initial notion. Falun Dafa practitioners are the main actors in society. Everything in this world was established for Dafa. Therefore, it is within the Fa's manifestation that Dafa practitioners validate the Fa, cultivate and save sentient beings. We are not here to suffer persecution. In other words, we need to correctly position ourselves in this world.
By stepping forward to validate the Fa and "clarify the truth" to save sentient beings, we are denying the old forces' arrangements and walking down the path that Teacher has arranged for us. We wouldn't run into any danger if we were clear on these Fa principles and had stronger righteous thoughts.
However, if we couldn't maintain stability in cultivation as Dafa practitioners and instead developed attachments or ordinary people's notions, the old forces would take advantage of us. Being a good cultivator is having strong righteous thoughts, and this helps us to create the many ways in different environments to help save more sentient beings. We should never accept the illegal imprisonment. Instead, we need to identify our omissions and walk out of the evil's den with the dignity of a Dafa practitioner.
In 2005, I read a few articles in "Minghui Weekly" about how some fellow practitioners walked out of or were rescued from prison by having strong righteous thoughts. I was intrigued and I formed a notion about getting out on parole so that I could then get help from fellow practitioners and be rescued.
The persecution of practitioners in prisons is very brutal and the prison environment is very bad. I felt time passing by so slowly. I didn't want to stay there for even one more day. I begged Teacher to make me appear ill, the worse the better. I even thought it would be OK if I had to fall down the stairs. I gave myself excuses for these unrighteous notions, such as, I shouldn't be persecuted in a prison; instead I should get out to save more sentient beings.
Soon, my health really started to deteriorate as I was so attached to getting out. Teacher asks us to study the Fa more and send forth righteous thoughts more and to clarify the truth to fight against the persecution and dissolve the evil. However, because I couldn't focus on following Teacher's instructions, I was then taken advantage of and I became "ill." My family took me to the hospital for a physical examination outside of the prison. The doctors told me I had developed tuberculosis and it was very serious. My blood pressure was very high.
The old forces took advantage of my attachments and intensified the persecution on my body. My "illness" had become very serious. In other people's eyes, I could have died at any minute. My fellow practitioners were worried. They helped send forth righteous thoughts for me; however, there did not seem to be any improvement in me.
I realized it was because I hadn't changed in my heart. I wasn't clear about the Fa principles and I had attachments that I couldn't let go of. Eventually, I came to understand that it was wrong to ask Teacher to make me appear ill so I could get out. This notion negatively affected my validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. It was persecution by the old forces so I shouldn't acknowledge it. I asked Teacher to help strengthen me while sending forth righteous thoughts to clean up all the evil, the black hands, the rotten ghosts, the evil Communist Party spirit, etc. in my dimensions.
After a while, I still didn't see any changes. Then I realized I should strengthen my righteous thoughts and believe in Teacher. I constantly sent forth righteous thoughts. A few days later, I felt much better yet I slacked off again in my righteous thoughts and soon, my "illness" came back.
I realised I should keep my righteous thoughts strong and focused until the persecution stops. Non-practitioners witnessed how I got rid of my "illness" through practicing Falun Dafa. Some of them said, "Back then, I thought you wouldn't live any longer. Now look at you. You have gained some weight and you look great." Through my own actions, I made up for the damage that I had caused earlier. I am much more clearheaded now.
