(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1993. At that time, my understanding of the Fa was quite shallow. I only knew that Dafa was very beneficial. After I began practicing, my skin disease (tinea cruris), which could not be healed completely by medicine, disappeared within a few weeks. My body also became much stronger and I have not had any illnesses since.
After the persecution began, I explained the facts to people and distributed truth-clarification materials. In 2001, I went to Tiananmen Square to show my determination in the practice. However, a part of me was driven by human courageous impulses and the desire to uphold justice. I did not have a complete understanding from the Fa's perspective. After I was released from the detention center, I left my hometown to attend university. As a result, I lost touch with fellow practitioners and was not able to receive Master's latest articles. Due to tremendous stress and an attachment to time, I felt hopeless as I could not see the end of the persecution. I studied the Fa less and less. Gradually, I gave up cultivation.
However, our compassionate Master did not give up on me. He gave me a new opportunity. I learned how to use the Internet at school. Once, when I opened my email, I saw a message from an overseas practitioner teaching me how to break through the Communist regime's censorship. I couldn't wait to access the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Then I saw everything. I quickly downloaded all the articles and teachings I had missed in the past few years. I read them with the thirst of a man in a desert. I was shocked to learn the facts about the persecution. At that point, I deeply regretted my attachments. I was determined to return to the path of cultivation. By then it was September 2004.
When I first returned to Dafa, I used every spare moment to study the Fa. I was able to absorb the Fa like a sponge. As my eyes traced the characters in Master's articles, I heard Master's voice in my head. It was like Master was teaching me in person. Even when I was working or riding my bike, the Fa was all I thought about. I did not want to depart from it for even a single moment. The feeling was just wonderful. I could feel my gong rapidly increasing, sometimes breaking through several levels a day. I knew everything in the human world was an illusion. As soon as a person near me had a thought, I immediately knew what he wanted.
I taught others how to use new technologies, built an informational materials center, and bought printing supplies. Everything I did was a success. I didn't even have to think about how to do it. I also had no fear. I recited the Fa while I was working on projects. Once, I visited a city where the local practitioners did not know how to use computers and had no equipment. I started from scratch to build a materials center. It only took me three days and two nights. During these three days, I also persuaded a friend to quit the CCP, and had a talk with a practitioner who had strayed from the Fa for six years. We only talked for a short while before he decided to come back to Dafa. During these three days, I only ate three or four meals and slept a few hours total, yet I was not tired. Now I know it was actually Master who did everything. All I had was the will to do it. "Cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master."(Zhuan Falun) The material center I set up is still operating smoothly today.
Another time, I rode my bike to deliver printing supplies to a materials center. The supplies were tied to the back of my bike in plain sight. As soon as I reached her apartment building, I saw her walking out the door. I thought it was great timing, since I was worried that she wouldn't be home. She looked surprised to see me, and said, "How come you dare to come here right now? Did you know that a policeman died in this building recently? The funeral just ended. There were over 100 police. If you came five minutes earlier, you would have run into them. If you came one minute later, I would be gone. You are so lucky." I immediately realized that this was all arranged by Master. There were many such coincidences. On the path of cultivation, as long as we have the will, Master will arrange everything for us. His arrangements are surely the best.
In 2004, I started working for a government agency. We were all required to wear a badge. Those of us who were officials or probationary Communist Party members had cards that said "CCP Member."(I was a probationary CCP member.) Because of my good work ethic, I received a lot of compliments. However, I always felt that I was not validating the Fa, but glorifying the CCP. I went to the person in charge in our agency and asked her to make a new card for me that did not say "CCP Member."
In 2005, I withdrew from the CCP on an overseas website. However, around the same time, our agency was engaged in a series of Communist-themed brainwashing programs. Every CCP member had to study Party materials, answer questions, and write about our understandings. As a Dafa practitioner with dignity who had already withdrawn from the CCP, I thought I should not attend these CCP activities. On the other hand, I was hired as a talent with leadership potential. My boss even promised to assign me a new apartment. In ordinary people's eyes, I was a rising star with a bright future. Many in my agency were jealous of me. However, none of this could shake my faith in Dafa. I decided to publicly withdraw from the CCP. I wanted to validate the Fa while setting a good example for ordinary people.
I studied the Fa for a long time every day. I felt that my righteous thoughts could overwhelm any obstacle. I asked myself if I could give up everything in ordinary human society, including my job, reputation, money, and housing. The answer was affirmative. For cultivation, for this once-in-ten-thousand-year opportunity, I can give up anything. After I made up my mind, I calmed down, and knew what I should do.
When my boss came to talk to me, he kept looking down and was afraid to make eye contact, as if he were a little child who had made a mistake. In the presence of my strong righteous thoughts, he was almost speechless. I told him that I wanted to withdraw from the Communist Party. The news hit my colleagues like a tornado. The leadership was shocked. People could not believe their ears. Some people with good intentions asked me, "Are you crazy?" The leadership of my agency had a few meetings, and finally called me to tell me they had canceled my probationary CCP membership, and removed all documents in my permanent files related to the CCP. They asked if that was satisfactory to me, and I said without hesitation, "Yes."
Pretty soon, my agency began assigning apartments. I let go of my attachment to a new apartment. I went to my boss and asked, "Will you still keep your promise?" Then I decided not to think about it anymore and did what I should do. Shortly, the decision was announced. Only three people in my agency received an apartment: two middle-level managers and me. My apartment was the biggest. Some of my colleagues felt it was unfair, and asked me, "Did you bribe the boss?" I shook my head. How could an ordinary person understand a cultivator?
Just like Master said,
"If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it."
"We're not asking you to really lose any material things. It doesn't matter how high your official rank is, and it doesn't matter how rich you are: the key is whether you can let go of that attachment."(Zhuan Falun)
I have put this into practice. With protection from Master, I openly withdrew from the CCP. Just like Master said,
"When it seems impossible to do, or just hard to do, give it a try and see just what you can do. And when you can really do it, just like that worn and weary traveler, you'll see, "the shade of willows, the blooms of flowers, a place to rest my head"!"(Zhuan Falun)
In 2005, when I first stepped forward to clarify the facts, I rented a small apartment to run an informational materials center. I was able to establish it with assistance from other practitioners. A practitioner came to me, wanting me to teach her how to use the computer and the Internet. I didn't know her, but heard that she was forced to leave her home and was one of the most wanted practitioners. Many practitioners hesitated to even let her stay overnight. I thought, "I will treat her as I would want to be treated if I were in her situation."
I decided to let her stay at the materials center and teach her how to use new technologies. However, my attachment to fear emerged. If the police found her, they would have found me and exposed the materials center. Then I would lose my job and housing. But then I thought: "I am a Dafa disciple. If I do not follow Master's requirements, what kind of disciple would I be?" I realized I needed to be selfless and consider others first. I decided to let go of my fear. Even if I lost everything, I would not regret it! Since then, this practitioner has been living at the materials center.
Later, this practitioner offered me a lot of help in my cultivation. She was like a mirror. When I saw she had an attachment, I looked inward, and saw I had the same attachment.
After about three years of working with her, I finally learned how to search inside and find my own shortcomings. Now we recite the Fa together and offer kind suggestions to each other. Our paths have become more upright. I also feel that in the last few years, I have become more mature and thorough, and have eliminated some attachments.
My biggest realization is that Master's arrangements are the best.
