(Clearwisdom.net) June 2, 2009 was a special day for me. I again witnessed a miracle of Falun Dafa. The sickness karma that had tortured me for some time finally dissipated and went away. I was amazed by the boundless power of Dafa and experienced Teacher's benevolent salvation. Teacher allowed me, even though I had been very lax in my cultivation, to strengthen my determination to cultivate through the tribulation of sickness karma.
I am a young person who came across Dafa quite some time ago. At first it was my mother who persuaded me to start learning about Dafa. I was not truly a cultivator at the time. I only learned a few exercises and read the book once in a while. I had no understanding nor had I enlightened to the principles in the book. I took Fa study as simply a job I had to finish each day. I witnessed the miracle of Dafa the first time at the end of 2005 when the lymph nodes on the left side of my jaw started to swell. Even after taking medicine the swelling did not diminish, but rather, worsened. Every time I swallowed something I got a splitting headache, so I was not able to eat anything. Even drinking water was very painful. Without food and water, I became very frail and had to stay in bed all the time. My mother continuously urged me to strengthen my righteous thoughts and to have faith in Teacher and Dafa. This situation continued for seven days. Finally, while lying in bed I remembered Teacher's words:
"When you are overcoming a real hardship or tribulation, you try it. When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible." (Zhuan Falun)
So I started to recite over and over, "When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it." Just minutes later a miracle happened. I suddenly felt liquid come out of the swollen part inside my mouth. I spit out some brownish discharge. After spitting out the discharge for some time, the lymph area was no longer painful and the swelling was gone, too. I was able to eat and drink as I wished. Everything happened so fast. I was so excited and grateful I can hardly explain it. Witnessing the miraculousness of Dafa, I started my cultivation and began to diligently study the Fa.
However, the real elevation in cultivation comes from the upgrading of one's xinxing. Although I knew this principle, at work, the lure of material benefits and delusion of human notions made it hard for me to let go of my attachments. Although I knew I was a Dafa cultivator, it was hard to discipline myself in what I did and said. I worked for a foreign investment company and I put in great effort to do my job well. I was often praised by my superiors, which caused my attachments of showing off and zealotry to ever expand. I wanted to be the best so that no one would say anything negative about me. I often brought work home with me so I could do even better. Although the diligence to do my job well was good, because of the zealotry and the heart to show off, work was my priority and I put excessive amounts of time and effort into it. Gradually, I neglected studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. Consequently, when I encountered xinxing tests in my work I was not able to hold myself up to the standard of a Dafa practitioner. I spent less and less time studying the Fa and then it seemed that studying the Fa became merely a task to be completed. When I was studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts, my heart was not at peace. People and projects at work would surface in my mind. My mother always reminded me that I should be diligent in studying the Fa, and that I should discipline my xinxing in my work; however, once I was in the work environment I would sink back into the human attachments and forget what Dafa had given me.
In early 2008, my lower abdomen started to swell slightly. I was very bothered by it. Due to lack of diligence in cultivation and lack of Fa study, I was not able to treat this tribulation as a Dafa practitioner should. Rather, I treated it as sickness. After a while I became used to this state and started to accept it. I did not have any improvement in Fa study and in cultivation. In fact, Teacher had been giving me opportunities to improve all along but I had not taken advantage of them. I was lost in the pursuit of a career in the human world. Gradually, my belly grew larger and I could feel a lump inside my stomach. By early 2009, I even started to have shortness of breath. I could not eat much and even a very small snack would fill me up. I sank into deep fear and frustration.
I started to re-examine my progress in studying the Fa and cultivating my xinxing. I realized my shortcomings and regretted them deeply. Slowly, I loosened my attachments to work and career (but I was still able to accomplish my work within my capabilities). I rediscovered myself in Dafa. I resumed studying the Fa diligently and worked to understand the Fa; I increased the time I spent doing the exercises and spent as much time as possible studying. I upgraded my understanding of Dafa and the standards that should be achieved by cultivators. When I encountered conflict at work, I was gradually able to measure it with Fa and gradually let go of my attachment to personal interest. I experienced a sense of relief in "taking a step back in a conflict to find the seas and the skies boundless." However, cultivation is a very serious matter and there are tests every day and everywhere. Just as Teacher has said,
"At a certain point in time, you will be made unable to discern clearly whether something is true, whether your gong exists, whether you can practice cultivation and make it, or whether there are Buddhas and if they are real." (Zhuan Falun)
My human notions would surface from time to time to test how determined I was. This time, I did not relax my Fa study and cultivation; I went through the tests steadfastly. Teacher said:
"When you feel very uncomfortable, it indicates that things will turn around after reaching the extreme point. Your whole body will be purified and it must be completely purified. The cause of your illness has been removed, and what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own to let you suffer some and have some pain. It is forbidden for you not to suffer even a little bit." (Zhuan Falun)
On June 1st my stomach became very lumpy and hard. My whole body suffered great discomfort. On June 2nd, I went out to run some errands and when I came back home, I found that my stomach had suddenly become soft. That night I had a high fever. I felt my stomach and found that it had become smaller; even the lump inside became hard to feel. The miraculous Dafa had again displayed its boundless power in my body. During the following week the swelling and lump in my stomach quickly diminished. My body recovered completely and I became very light on my feet. My father (a non-practitioner), who had previously been gravely concerned for my health, also witnessed the power of Dafa. He came to know the boundless power of Dafa and no longer had complaints of my mother and me doing Fa-verifying work.
I cannot express how grateful I am for Teacher's benevolent salvation. I have enlightened that Teacher does not wish to leave behind any one of his disciples. Teacher has given me another chance to return to the path of cultivation and had urged me to be diligent on this path. I am so behind compared to other practitioners who have been doing the three things well. I shall hold myself to the standard of a true practitioner, treasure the limited time to truly cultivate myself, and catch up with the Fa-rectification. I share this experience to encourage fellow practitioners who are being interfered with by "sickness karma", to strengthen your faith in Dafa and be steadfast in cultivation.
