(Clearwisdom.net)
Believing in Master and the Fa-Walking on the Path that Master Arranged for Me
I started practicing Falun Gong in 1996. I am 75 years old and never had any formal schooling. In recent years, I have often heard about practitioners passing away due to illnesses. This made me feel very sad. I knew it was caused by the old forces. All of our practitioners have to negate it. Because I could not read, I was not able to understand the Fa deeply. I didn't do well in many respects and was a worry to Master. I take this opportunity today and have asked other practitioners to write my story to share my experiences in dealing with "sickness," and how I negated it in 2007.
On the morning of December 22, 2007, of the Chinese Lunar calendar, I suddenly had a bad headache. My head felt like it would explode, and I sweat heavily. I asked my granddaughter to help me to the bed. I felt that my lower body was paralyzed. My daughter and other practitioners sat around me reading the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. My youngest son and his wife happened to visit, and they insisted that I go to the hospital, but I refused. Then they wanted me to go with them to the countryside. I knew that whether I went to see a doctor or went to the countryside, I would be walking the path the old forces arranged. I had a firm thought in my heart that I must negate the arrangement of the old forces and that I would only walk on the path that Master had arranged for me. I said to them, "Don't worry about me. There will not be any problem because Master is taking care of me. Please recite 'Falun Dafa is good' and 'Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good' for me at home." Whoever came to see me--cousins, relatives, good friends or neighbors--I asked them to read Zhuan Falun to me.
My two practitioner daughters looked after me day and night. We studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts, shared our understanding of the Fa, and looked inward. We found many attachments that had been taken advantage of by the old forces. The first thought I had was not to negate the old forces or ask for help from Master, but to ask my granddaughters to come instead. Both of them were afraid that I would not be able to pass this test and started thinking about how to deal with my passing. Our hearts were not pure. We regarded Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts as a kind of treatment for my disease and didn't pay attention to looking inward. My sentimentality towards my daughters was too strong. I took good care of things for their two families, showed a strong heart for doing things, and exhibited a show-off mentality and competitiveness. I slacked off in cultivation. My two daughters also discovered their attachment to relying on me.
Once we had found our attachments, we had to eliminate them. I realized that I shouldn't lie in bed, because I was not ill. I was a practitioner and had to get up and practice the exercises and get over it quickly so that I could continue doing the three things. As soon as I had such a thought, Master helped strengthen me. The next day I started doing the sitting meditation. At first I was not able to stay upright, so I put blankets and pillows underneath my legs. As I continued to practice, I relied less on the blankets and pillows. That day, I used the toilet for the first time with the help of my two daughters. I didn't have any strength in my legs and could barely walk. I was not able to get dressed by myself, so I asked Master for help. On the fifth day, I started to practice the exercises, and at first I sat to do them. Then I stood up for a while. I started gradually with three minutes, then five minutes, eight minutes, ten minutes, until I could complete all the exercises. After I began doing the exercises, I started going to the table to have meals (previously I had to eat in bed). I also started studying the Fa. At first I couldn't see clearly, but gradually I could see one line, and then could read line by line.
Whenever I made progress, my daughters encouraged me. They kept reminding me that I was a Dafa practitioner, the most remarkable being in the universe, and that every cell in my body should listen to the commands from my brain. They kept telling me that I could walk by myself and to throw away my walking stick, and that I could do the five sets of exercises up to standard and continue doing so. At that time I was like a kid who didn't know much. I kept reciting, "Believe in Master and believe in the Fa," and "When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it." (from Zhuan Falun). I asked Master to give me strength and help me to stand up and walk. I wanted to practice the exercises and study the Fa. I wanted to dress myself. I wanted to rectify all the abnormal states and to validate the Fa.
All that I wanted to do I did. As long as I had that thought, everything came to pass. "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun)
In my local area, there was an everyday person who suffered from the same symptoms as me. He went to see doctors and spent over nine hundred thousand dollars. He survived, but couldn't look after himself. I didn't spend a penny, but enjoyed good health nonetheless. I now study one or two lectures and do the five sets of exercises every day. (Sometimes I do the five exercises three times in two days.) I send forth righteous thoughts four times a day, sometimes ten times a day. I clarify the facts and try to persuade people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) every day.
When I didn't feel well, I asked for help from Master, but when I felt comfortable, I forgot all about cultivation. In January 2008 I spent the New Year holidays with my eldest daughter who lived in the capital city. Her husband saw the miracles that happened to me and wanted to learn Falun Dafa. In order to conform to ordinary people's society (Actually Master said, "...cultivate while conforming to the way of everyday people." (from "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada") I played mahjong with them for half an hour every day. As a result, he didn't quite learn the exercises and I couldn't raise my left hand again. Master gave me a hint in my dream that I was making a stove with mud. I looked inward and found that I had indulged in an everyday people's lifestyle and slacked off in doing the exercises, studying the Fa, and doing the three things. I had become attached to playing mahjong. As soon as I found my attachments, the next morning I asked to be taken to my other daughter's home. This daughter was very diligent in cultivation. I cultivated diligently with her. When practicing the standing stance, I was not able to lift my left hand. I didn't ask Master to help me because I felt ashamed of myself. I used my right hand to hold my left hand above my head. My daughter said that it was to my credit to practice like this but it was not up to standard, so I practiced in front of a mirror and tried to do the exercises according to the standard, bit by bit. It took me six months to reach the standard again. Actually, Master helped me.
From the very beginning I knew that my life had been extended for cultivation, not to live an everyday person's life. Thirteen years ago a doctor said that I probably would only live six more months. I had previously suffered from eight diseases, and Master helped me to eliminate all of these diseases. I was illiterate and couldn't read. Master helped me to learn the characters and I was able to read every word of Zhuan Falun. Shouldn't I keep cultivating diligently?
I will try my best to be worthy of Master's salvation. I will become diligent in doing the three things and walk well on the last leg of my cultivation path. I will follow Master to return to my original true home.
