(Clearwisdom.net) The attachment of seeking comfort is taboo for a cultivator. In the beginning, it is almost undetectable and it expands gradually. If we don't act to eliminate it, it will interfere with our cultivation or even cause our cultivation to come to an end.
Looking back at what happened today, the attachment problem came up for me at least three times. I arrange my days so that I can grasp every opportunity to do the three things well in all environments. Even when I was very busy with my work, I could still arrange large amounts of time to study the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth. However, my complacency often surfaced at night. Although I had planned to do many things, I became less diligent and my righteous thoughts were not as strong, because the environment was relaxing. I felt that I had finished things that I planned for the day. The leftover time was "extra". Therefore, I developed the attachment of seeking personal comfort. Although I did not go to bed early, I often gave myself excuses to rest. However, instead of simply resting, and I often fell asleep.
This was exactly what happened today: After I finishing studying two lectures of Fa, listening to two lectures of Fa, reading the book "Essentials to Further Advancement" and new articles, sending forth righteous thought at 8:00 p.m., 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m., it was time to clarifying the truth over the phone, according to my plan. I felt a little tired and followed my human notion - I should lie down and take a power nap for five minutes, and make my calls when I wake up. However, I fell asleep with the light on and doors and windows open. When I woke up, it was 2:00 a.m. Over four hours had slipped by. Unable to continue to sleep, I then sent forth righteous thought at 3:00 a.m. and studied the Fa until dawn. I did not complete doing all three things however, as I did not clarify the truth today.
This has happened to me several times recently. There must be hidden attachment and deviant factors behind them. I found the fundamental cause - notions. My notion is that I don't get enough sleep. This is the source of my attachment to seeking comfort. When analyzed further, I always considered myself very diligent in doing the three things and eliminating attachments by constantly decreasing my sleep time. I always calculated how much time I slept, hence constantly strengthening my notions. The notion of "not enough sleep" led me to expand my complacency. Many times I was unable to wake up at 3:00 a.m. to send forth righteous thought. Even three alarms could not wake me up. Although I felt bad afterwards, I could always find the excuse - I did not have enough sleep.
I believe that this notion is built on our nature of selfishness. That is the nature of lives from old universe. We want to protect ourselves and avoid being hurt. This is fundamentally different from the nature of enlightened beings, and from the new universe that is selfless and always puts others first. My notion of "not enough sleep" is formed out of my notions for self-protection, fear of being harmed and attachments to my physical body.
Of course we cannot go to extremes in cultivation. Our actions need to conform to the status of ordinary people. However, we need to have strong righteous thought. In fact, if we have strong righteous thoughts and keep practicing the exercises, four hours of sleep is enough. My level is limited at present and I could only achieve this. However, I found my attachments and notions through these incidents.
November 18, 2009
Category: Improving Oneself
