(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Dafa in 1996. I went to Beijing to appeal for the right to practice on July 20, 1999. Because I did not have a deep understanding of Fa principles and did not maintain righteous thoughts to negate the persecution, I lost my job and was detained for three years. After I returned home, I knew I needed to help save sentient beings, so I took informational materials about Falun Gong from fellow practitioners to distribute. Every week I distributed copies of Minghui Weekly that I had obtained from them. One time a practitioner said off-handedly, "People have made comments that even young and educated practitioners are still taking materials from us." I suddenly realized, "That's true. I only know to take materials from other practitioners. Why can't I make them myself?"
I had never touched computer or computer mouse before. But I had confidence that I could do this, so I bought a new computer and a printer. With Master's strengthening and fellow practitioners' help, I grasped the basic techniques quickly. Everything went well.
However, making materials is like cultivation. Gradually, issues surfaced here and there. At the beginning, I did not know how to look inward. I merely looked for outside factors. But when I examined myself calmly and corrected myself, the problem would be resolved easily. On the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, there are often experience-sharing articles that remind us: Cultivate your xinxing first and then repair your computers. In the past two years, with Master's protection, my material site has been operating smoothly. I have eliminated many attachments: an agitated mind, the mentality of doing things, attachments to money and benefits, validating self, etc. I realized that making truth-clarification materials is cultivating, not a job. We cannot have the mentality of finishing tasks only. We have to treat this aspect seriously; it is part of our cultivation.
During the Olympics, several people knocked on my door. Some had suits on, some were in plainclothes. I was not sure whether they were from the police station or the {{610 Office}). I did not open the door. Instead I sent forth righteous thoughts. At the beginning, I had fear. But then I thought, "I have Master and I have Dafa. There is nothing to be afraid of." Those people left shortly. I continued to send forth righteous thoughts, "I will not allow these people to come back again." My husband was afraid at that time and asked me to "get out." I sent a thought, "I will stay determined and completely negate the old forces' persecution." In the meantime, I looked inward. My xinxing had not been good recently. I still had the mentality of doing things when making the materials. Sometimes, I even felt it was a burden; I felt relieved when I finished it. This was a huge loophole. Master said,
"If you are able to succeed in improving yourself this way, what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred." ("Further Understanding" in Essentials For Further Advancement)
After I corrected myself and kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors in other dimensions, nobody came back to harass me again.
It is not easy to cultivate. We need to let go of the fear of life and death. It is a complete change in mentality, inside and out, when one is cultivating from the human standpoint to a higher realm of being. While making truth clarification materials, I had conflicts with my husband. We almost divorced. But I thought, "Practitioners should validate the Fa. Wouldn't my divorce impact the image of Dafa? In this critical period of needing to offer salvation to sentient beings, how would ordinary people view this?" However, it was very hard for me to eliminate my human notions, and it was hard for me to pass the test. I was thinking about finding a temporary job somewhere else to avoid my husband. I also tried to find excuses for myself: "I can cultivate and help to save sentient beings anywhere I go." But when I looked at all the computer components, I asked myself, "You are not being responsible if you just leave everything behind like this. Fellow practitioners will have to re-establish the site. Or this would become an added burden for other material sites. Additionally, this is Master's arrangement. You do not have the right to decide whether to do it or not to do it. You should let go of yourself. No matter how hard it is at home. You have to carry on this responsibility." Just like that, I let go of my thought of giving up. After further Fa study, I found that I had become lazy and not diligent enough and was taken advantage of by the evil. This worsened the conflicts between my husband and me. It was indeed my own problem. When I found my attachment, everything returned to normal.
Recently, I added another printer, which helped with production efficiency. Several days ago, while looking at the printed colorful brochures, I felt smug. The printer developed a paper jam right away. I immediately looked inward, "Indeed, everything is given by Dafa. We merely have to cultivate ourselves humbly in Dafa."
I am very grateful for Master's benevolent protection. This is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
