(Clearwisdom.net) I am from Panzhihua City, Sichuan Province, and attained the Fa in 1996. I wanted to share my experiences in writing a long time ago and finally am doing so.
I used to have a happy family. However, just after the 1991 Chinese New Year I was diagnosed with bladder cancer. When my husband heard the diagnosis in the doctor's office he fainted. Afterward, my family was no longer happy, and everyone suffered immense pressure. Radiation therapy made my whole body hurt. I couldn't eat well and couldn't sleep, either day or night. Later on I contracted arthritis and had to wear a heavy coat, even in the hot summer. Cold water would make my hands itch and hurt. Then I got hyperosteogeny of a cervical vertebra and lumbar hyperosteogeny. I was unable to turn my neck. I felt dizzy, sick to my stomach, and my eyes hurt. More illnesses plagued me, such as diabetes, stomach problems, and enteritis. How could I be cured? Although I took dozens of pills a day, my situation just became worse and worse.
In October 1996 the bladder cancer recurred and had metastasized. After the second surgery I had to undergo radiation treatment again, which made me urinate blood. My stomach hurt terribly, and I was often unable to stand up in the restroom. I had to stay at the hospital. I thought I had exhausted all possible treatments to cure me, and I was just waiting to die. The treatments were a financial burden on my family. I wanted to commit suicide, but my husband was always near me, and I couldn't find an opportunity to go through with it. It was indeed a case of, "Unable to live, but no way to die." I blamed the Heavens for being unfair to me. When I was at the end of my rope, a friend of mine introduced me to Falun Gong.
In November 1996 I attended group exercises and group study. I finished reading Zhuan Falun for the first time in just two days. The contents fascinated me. Many of my life's questions were answered. I learned that my illnesses happened because of karma I had accumulated, and that the essence of life was to return to one's original, true self. I felt this was the path to heaven that I had dreamed of when I was young.
I attended Fa study and was very diligent in studying and practicing the exercises until 1999. I never watched TV. Whether it was cold winter or hot summer, I would not miss any opportunities to study the Fa and to practice the exercises. On the fifth day after I began cultivating, Master began to cleanse my body. I was able to turn my neck, the dizziness was gone, and there was no more nausea. My spirits were high, and I felt pleasant. I was so happy that I told my family and my friends. They all were happy for me and encouraged me to keep practicing.
My cultivation state was very good. I could feel many miraculous things. For example, I often dreamed that Master was taking care of me and encouraging me. On the 20th day after I had begun the practice, I felt the Falun. Later, whenever I suffered a major episode of karma-elimination, I could feel a big Falun rotating over my head and around my waist. There were also many small Falun around me. For a short period of several months, all my illnesses disappeared. I felt relaxed and was in an extremely good mood. My body was so light that I walked "like my feet stepping on wind." I had changed and was like a new person. Those who knew me before said I no longer acted like a patient. Many people passed the word that my cancer was gone through Falun Gong practice. Those who didn't know me that well thought I was very strong and had overcome the cancer. I told them, "It is not that I overcame the cancer; Master grabbed me from the abyss. Master gave me a second life." I told my story to others to promote Dafa. I really appreciate Master for saving my life.
Facing persecution
In July 1999 the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started the mindless persecution. Every day the TV broadcast propaganda programs to slander Falun Gong. So many people's minds were poisoned, and they had hatred in their hearts. Many new practitioners stopped the practice. Many who hadn't studied the Fa deeply handed over their books and quit the practice. I was also fearful and handed over a few Dafa books. Although I didn't have any doubts about Master and Dafa and knew that the CCP's propaganda was full of lies and was deceptive, I was under too much pressure and felt I couldn't get out from under it. I regretted handing over Master's lectures, which is indeed the biggest disrespect to Master. I sobbed at home afterwards. I did wrong because I didn't study the Fa well enough and had strong human attachments that manifested themselves as severe preoccupation with my ego.
In May 2000 several practitioners and I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Gong. Just as I arrived at Tiananmen Square, a plainclothes police officer stopped me and kept asking me whether Falun Gong was good or not. I told him, "You have no right to ask me, and I refuse to answer your question." I was always timid and not good at speaking. Seeing so many police, armed police and plainclothes police at Tiananmen Square, I was overcome with fear and unable to answer the question straight. Later, I kept asking myself, "Did you go there to validate Dafa? You could not even answer the question with the words, 'Falun Dafa is good.'" I had deep regret and felt ashamed of myself.
In August of that the same year, several practitioners and I went to Beijing again. When police at Tiananmen Square asked me, "Why did you come here?" I answered, "I practice Falun Gong. I came to say a just word for Falun Dafa and our Master."
We were taken to the Qianmen Police Station. I was not frightened. I told the police about Falun Gong and about my own miraculous experiences. I pointed out the lies propagated on TV and stated a few of our requirements:
First, release all Falun Gong practitioners in detention; second, restore the good name of Master and Falun Gong; third, allow us to freely practice Falun Gong.
The police thought I was the group leader. The police head and more than 10 officers surrounded me. They took turns threatening me and trying to deceive me. They said they would videotape me and take me to a detention center. I was calm and unmoved. While answering their questions, I kept reciting the poem, "Mighty Virtue" from Hong Yin in my mind. Since I was already there, I was mentally prepared if I could not leave. I was forbidden to drink water or go to the restroom. They kept asking for my name and my home address and promised me that I would be released if I told them who I was. I told them it was not important who I was, but that it was most important for them to know I was a Falun Gong practitioner. I also told them, "It is not that I am unwilling to tell you my name, but I just cannot do such a thing. Our Master teaches us to follow the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and to be a good person. We should always think of others. If I tell you my name and address, many people will be implicated." They stopped questioning me. I heard them talking about this in the hallway, "These Falun Gong are all good at talking. They apparently come from Sichuan Province but just refuse to admit it."
Among the several practitioners of our group, only one other practitioner and I were not beaten. Around 9:00 p.m. I was released. The police told me, "If you think Falun Gong is good, just practice at home."
After coming back from Beijing we started to clarify the truth, initially face to face. Later on we distributed informational materials and put up posters. When we lacked materials, we made them ourselves, writing them by hand. We went out almost daily to leave messages put up posters--along the street or lanes, on telephone poles or trees, anywhere there were people. Our messages and posters could be seen everywhere. Later on, many police officers were involved in monitoring and following us, and many messages and posters were removed quickly. We then posted our materials inside residential buildings. For several years we have validated Dafa in different ways, sharing the information face to face, posting messages and posters, distributing truth-clarifying materials, mailing materials, writing messages on paper bills, and advising people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Everywhere we go we bring the truth. Sometimes our posters stay up for a long time. The police frequently threaten to arrest us and raid our homes. We keep sending righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil elements behind them.
In 2002, police officers assigned to watch me near my home suspected that I was distributing informational materials. Seven or eight agents followed and watched me. Sometimes they stayed at the entrance of the building where I lived and photographed me. It was really quite scary. I had the good company of a fellow practitioner. For several years we always went out together and kept sending righteous thoughts while we walked until we returned home safely. The police didn't find any evidence, but they kept calling to harass me. Especially after my husband passed away in June 2006, and I was alone at home, they often came around in the middle of the night and knocked on my door to harass me. I sent righteous thoughts at home and asked for Master's help to strengthen me.
In May 2004, several practitioners from our district were arrested. The police also came to my home when I was absent. They informed my work unit to have a conversation with me. Receiving the call from the Party leader at my job, I didn't think much about it and went to meet with him. He told me that I was reported for supposedly collecting money for Falun Gong. While sending righteous thoughts I calmly answered him, "Who collected money? Our Master never asks for any money from us, not even a penny. Is what we did called propaganda? Tell you the truth, we are trying to let more people know the goodness of Falun Dafa." I told him my own story, about how I had changed mentally and physically after practicing Falun Gong. The Party leader threatened me, saying I was propagandizing right in his face, and that what I was doing would harm my son and my daughter-in-law. I told him, "This is my own belief and my personal affair. It has nothing to do with my son and my daughter-in-law. I will not give up the practice. Falun Gong will be redressed some day. You'd better leave a way out for yourself." I turned around and left.
After that, all the harassing calls and visits stopped, and the police no longer followed or watched me. For several years the leaders at work never talked to me about it anymore. But I still kept sending righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil around them.
It is easy to talk to people I know, but hard to talk to a stranger. I felt discouraged some days when I initially had not done well and would not continue that day. I knew it was an attachment, that I was attached to the result.
Once at a farmer's market I spoke with a woman and advised her to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. She told me she had heard about it before but didn't pay any attention to it. Hearing my words this time, she understood and decided to follow my advice. She told me that her mother-in-law wanted to quit, too. Her mother-in-law was a government official and had tried to quit the CCP at her work unit, but several officials there went to her home and advised her not to. On the way to buy eggs I talked to six people, and four of them agreed to quit the CCP. One of them told me she's heard about it before. These experiences made me get rid of my attachment to results. I knew that if I didn't persuade someone today, another practitioner might be able to reach them another time. Since then, clarifying the truth has become easier.
On the way to take my grandson to and from school, or on the way to and from the farmers' market, or back home, I would not miss any opportunities to talk to people. Every week I spend twenty yuan in paper bills with messages about Falun Gong on them. Once I met an old couple in the market. I asked them whether they had heard anything about quitting the CCP and its affiliated organizations. They said they hadn't and asked me what it was about. I gave them some materials to read at home. Two days later I met them again. They handed me a list of names of 12 people from their family who wanted to quit the CCP.
In 2007, a relative from my hometown told me about his son who worked at a TV station and was paid well. Knowing he worked a computer related job, I thought he might work on the Internet and be against Falun Gong due to the government propaganda. I made a special trip to my hometown to talk to him. His job was indeed just what I had gathered. I explained the facts about Falun Gng to him and advised him to read more Minghui/Clearwisdom website materials and to get to know Falun Gong. I advised him not to become involved in persecuting Falun Gong and to quit the CCP. He was very pleased to accept my advice.
I had another relative in Northeast China. His son was a town mayor. In October 2007 the whole family came back to visit their hometown in Sichuan Province. I heard about this and made a special trip back home to see them. They were happy to see me and said they knew Falun Gong must be good since they saw how healthy I was. They felt relieved when they saw me. I advised them to quit the CCP. The son said he had read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and that it was well written and the contents were very truthful. He quickly agreed to quit the CCP. He also asked me to teach his parents the exercises. He said he was busy at work, otherwise he would also like to practice the exercises as well. It was not so easy to advise his parents to quit the CCP. I spent several days trying to persuade them, and finally they agreed. During that trip I also helped several people in my hometown to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
In March 2008, I met two former classmates from other cities whom I hadn't seen for several years. One of them was retired from a division level position and was still a Party leader in the residential community. The other one was an official at the section level. I told them about Falun Gong and advised them to quit the CCP and not to get involved in any persecution of Falun Gong. They accepted my advice and also quit the CCP.
In validating Dafa and offering sentient beings salvation, I have endured nine years of trials and hardships but have always been under the protection of our benevolent Master. It all seems ordinary, with nothing extraordinary about it. Along the way I have had joys and sadness, but I will continue on the path as always. I know it is not easy to be a practitioner during the Fa-rectification period. We often face loneliness, fear of being harassed by the police, conflicts with family members because they don't understand, and ordinary people's abuse and denunciation. But one of our missions is to offer people salvation. We should do more of this within the limited time available and do well the Three Things to fulfill our prehistoric pledge.
June 21, 2008
