Letting Go of Attachments that Govern the Relationship Between Husband and Wife
(Clearwisdom.net) Since I began practicing Falun Dafa, whenever I've run into conflicts and tribulations, as long as I kept in mind that I am a practitioner, I have been able to pass these tests. When I interact with others, I try to hold myself to the standards of Dafa. However, only in dealing with my husband, who is also a practitioner, have I not been able to behave as a practitioner should. Sometimes my human side is very strong and I behave childishly. I can be ill-tempered and competitive towards him. Afterwards, I regret my mistakes and ask myself, would an enlightened being behave like I do? However, I could never find the determination in myself to get rid of these attachments.
Actually, I realize why I never was able to do this. I was not taking cultivation seriously enough. I had allowed my demon nature to run wild and this blocked my knowing side from rectifying the Fa. Teacher said in "Expounding on the Fa":
"Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations."
Furthermore, I did not let go of my sentimentality towards my husband. I did not let go of it, nor did I want to. I was still attached to my happiness in the human world. I wanted a family atmosphere that was harmonious, that made me feel happy and comfortable. From this single issue I uncovered a whole host of attachments: zealotry, vanity, the competitive mentality, an attachment to comfort, pursuing being cared about, wanting to be the center of attention. All of these come from sentimentality and are rooted in selfishness. How can that be in compliance with the requirements of Dafa? And I didn't take it seriously.
I also realized that with the exception of studying the Fa together and doing the exercises, I was not treating my husband as a fellow practitioner. Cultivation penetrates everything in our daily lives. The predestined relationship between husband and wife is only formed from karmic retribution lifetime after lifetime. The predestined relationship with the Fa, however, is truly sacred and noble, worthy of being cherished. Teacher said at "Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference":
"Once you start to cultivate, you are fellow practitioners...That being the case, you must take seriously the problems and conflicts that emerge among you. You can't behave like ordinary people, who do whatever they want to."
Since the Fa has been explained so clearly, we should really follow it well. We must get rid of our sentimentality and treat everyone with compassion. Once we view the Fa from the right standpoint, once this righteous thought comes forth, bad notions will naturally disappear in an instant. Then our actions will be righteous.
When some practitioners share, they say, "If my husband thinks I am a great practitioner, then I am doing really well." Practitioners who fall short in this respect need to look deeply inside. Since we are able to treat others kindly, how come we cannot treat our family members the same way?