(Clearwisdom.net) I was shattered upon reading "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference".
A long time ago, Teacher expounded the Fa clearly and asked us to do the three things well, to validate the Fa, to save sentient beings, and to cultivate ourselves well. But how have I been doing? I especially had a poor understanding of the Fa in regards to cultivating myself well. After all, I thought Teacher had said,
"Dafa disciples' personal cultivation and improvement are no longer an issue, nor is Dafa disciples' achieving Consummation." ("Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference")
With that in mind, I slacked off on my personal cultivation. When I faced troubles and unpleasant situations, I was unable to search inward for my attachments. I ignored small attachments to fame, self-interest and sentimentality. I failed to mind the details of etiquette. I was reluctant to actively do things to save sentient beings. Sometimes I even slacked off on practicing the Falun Gong exercises. I rarely sent forth righteous thoughts except during the four daily set times.
Teacher's Fa lecture in New York in 2008 was like a blow to my head that woke me up. I asked myself, "How do you know for sure you can reach Consummation? Are you qualified?" I am having a good time while waiting for the Fa-rectification to complete so that I may reach Consummation and soar up to paradise! Isn't this an attachment to reaching Consummation? How can any cultivator attached to Consummation reach Consummation? Isn't it selfish to think of nothing but reaching Consummation? I may be doing the three things, but is my heart pure enough to attain the selfless and altruistic level Teacher requires of us? I got goosebumps as I asked myself these questions. Apparently, I cannot reach Consummation, nor am I able to save my sentient beings. I had cold sweats when I thought of the severe consequences. I thought I had clarified the truth to many people and persuaded many to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and/or its two affiliated organizations. I took delight in the number of sentient beings I had saved and fantasized about becoming the king of my sentient beings once I return to my paradise. But the truth is that I will not reach Consummation or save sentient beings if I don't elevate my level. This is the severity of the problem. But this also goes to show the solemness of cultivation.
In the final stage of the Fa-rectification, I must emphasize cultivating myself well and prioritize enhancing my cultivation level. But I must not separate personal cultivation from doing the three things. I should do the three things well while assimilating to the Fa and cultivating myself so as to truly reach the standard of Consummation. By doing so, I shall be able to save more sentient beings and avoid wasting the hardship Teacher has endured in order to save us with compassion.
