(Clearwisdom.net) My name is Guo Feng, and I am 23 years old. I started practicing Falun Gong in 1997. Because I have had the attachment of pursuit while studying the Fa when I started practicing, I have only genuinely obtained the Fa and truly walked on the road following Teacher home since February 2008. Before February 2008, I took many detours and made some big mistakes. My loopholes were taken advantage of by the old forces. I also always had the thought that I would do something for Dafa. Now I understand that I was not doing anything for Dafa; I am not a bystander. Every Dafa disciple is an element of Dafa. Whatever we have done, we did it for ourselves. Saving sentient beings was the prehistoric vow that we solemnly made. We should be doing the three things well and, in the meantime, constantly eliminating our human notions so that we can gradually reach Consummation. All of these things were done for ourselves!
Below, I would like to share my experiences and a few of my understandings.
Since I was unable to look at everything from the basis of the Fa and was controlled by fear, I did not do the three things at all after July 1999. I was even indifferent when I heard people who did not know the truth criticize Dafa. Sometimes, when my mother (also a practitioner) gave me Dafa books and materials to read, I refused, since I was controlled by the extreme regret and fear inside me. I did not even want to hear anyone talk about Dafa. I regretted quitting cultivation and felt that I had failed Teacher. I felt that what I had done had brought disgrace to Dafa and that I was no longer worthy of learning Dafa or of being a practitioner. Thus, I gave up cultivation entirely.
At that time, I was full of human notions, but deep inside I always knew that Dafa was good. Later, through Teacher's arrangement, I got to know several practitioners. Sharing thoughts and experiences with these practitioners allowed me to walk out of the cage that I had built around myself using human notions. I had given up on myself, but Teacher did not give up on me. Simply because I still had this one thought that Dafa was good, Teacher enlightened me through the words of fellow practitioners. As a result, I returned to the path of cultivation.
In fact, previously, I had always been using my ignorant and laughable human heart to measure Teacher. I thought that Teacher would blame me for giving up cultivation. I had the attachment of fame and could not return to cultivation for fear of losing face. Teacher has told us that when we look at a person we should look at the benevolent side of him or her. However, I was unable to understand Teacher's words. Even practitioners are to look at the benevolent side of every person, let alone Teacher.
Now that I regret making these mistakes, the immediate things I need to do are to return to Dafa and correct my mistakes so that I can start anew, strengthen my righteous thoughts, and not let the old forces find loopholes anymore. I am no longer shadowed by the human notion of regret.
Teacher has time and again prolonged the Fa-rectification process in order to leave people like me (those who know that Dafa is good but dare not come forward as true practitioners) a window of opportunity. I know that there are still many practitioners who are like the previous me. They are either wandering about in "regret" after making mistakes; are still unclear who they are cultivating for; are seeking an easy life and holding fast to the life of an ordinary person; or are lost in other human notions. I hope all of you who read this article and who are in a situation similar to mine will please let go of your human notions and come forward as true practitioners. You should know that Teacher is still waiting for us!
Teacher treasures us so greatly and has never given up on us. Why don't we treasure ourselves? How can we ever give up?
I know that I still have many human notions, which can be shown in this experience sharing article. Fellow practitioners, please kindly point out anything inappropriate. I hope that all practitioners who have not come forward as true practitioners will come out of the shadows as soon as possible.
