(Clearwisdom.net) After watching the video of Teacher's lecture to Australian practitioners, I had deep feelings about the attachment which Teacher talked about at the beginning of the lecture -- "validating oneself." Looking inward, I identified this as my biggest attachment. I used to think that validating myself was a part of truthfulness, and this thinking increased my attachment. Teacher's lecture brought this issue to my immediate attention.
I graduated with an engineering degree from a famous university, and often felt that I knew true science, compared with some elderly practitioners who did not know scientific rules and often followed their own experiences and feelings. I thought that I was always right and often argued with others. While at work, I often insisted on my own "principles" and felt unhappy when others were late or did not work up to my expectations. I misunderstood the meaning of what Teacher defined as a "good person" and thought that I appropriately fought to protect the "truth." Subsequently, I was not tolerant, lacked good self-control, and demonstrated even less compassion. This issue has caused some problems concerning my relationships with others.
My "validating oneself" issue also reflected into the daily life of my family. I wanted others to follow me with the reasoning that I was doing things for the Dafa, making me the center. These actions caused unhappiness for my husband (who has not yet started to cultivate). Fortunately, I reminded myself to be a real woman--kind and gentle, as Teacher taught us, and I began to take better care of my husband. Eliminating the attachment of "validating myself" along with raising my level has helped to create a better environment, which I believe will lead to more understanding and support from my family.
My "validating oneself" issue has also affected my interactions with other practitioners. I often emphasize my abilities and technical knowledge, and force my opinions upon others. When other practitioners disagreed with me, I would identify their mistakes in order to prove that I was right (this was unrighteous thinking). These actions caused a separation in our group.
The attachment of "validating oneself" is a thinking process that is developed from postnatal life, and reflects elements of the communist party culture. This thinking is as hard and thick as granite, and is a combination of selfishness, attachment to competition, jealousy and more. With Teacher's words, I believe that I can realize and remove this attachment, keep my righteous thoughts and truly lift my xinxing level. I should keep a mind of kindness, help others from my heart, and cooperate well with others.
Our time is limited. In order to do the three things more efficiently, we should eliminate our personal motives, truly take the Fa as our teacher, harmonize with Dafa, remove our human attachments which slow us down, and catch up with the Fa-Rectification.
