(Clearwisdom.net) I have practiced Falun Gong for four years and I still consider myself a new practitioner. I have experienced a great deal since the beginning of my cultivation. Although I have not remained diligent, I consider myself one of the most fortunate people--because I was chosen by Teacher as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. There is no way to return Teacher's compassion, and I can only do the three things well so as to not disappoint Teacher's expectation.
1. Starting to practice
I started to practice Falun Gong in 2003. My mother-in-law is a practitioner and she often reads Teacher's articles. Occasionally I also read some of them. One day, I was moved when I read, "Whoever misses out on this historic opportunity, whoever misses out on this chance, when you realize what you've missed out on you won't even want to live even if you are allowed to!" (Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference) I realized that the opportunity to cultivate is very precious. I thought: I will start to cultivate and will continue cultivating no matter how hard it might be.
Because I started to practice late, I had to cultivate myself at the same time as helping with Fa-rectification. Soon after I started practicing, I began to clarify the truth and offer salvation to sentient beings. I clarified the truth to colleagues and friends, asking them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. Later, I set up a materials production site at home, and would distribute the materials right after they were printed. I even required myself to distribute a certain number of truth-clarification materials every day. At that time, I did not understand the process of cultivation, thinking that truth-clarification and distributing materials would suffice. I did not pay attention to Fa-study, considering it merely one of the tasks to complete. I also did not understand the process of self cultivation and letting go of attachments. With so many attachments and a strong desire to complete more tasks, I was taken advantage of by the old forces and sent to a labor camp. One year later, I returned from the labor camp. With help from fellow practitioners and continual study of Teacher's new articles, I once again joined the efforts to validate the Fa.
2. Fa-study
After returning from the labor camp, I felt sleepy whenever I studied the Fa. Also, because of the brainwashing in the labor camp, I no longer had righteous thoughts. Other practitioners told me to send forth righteous thoughts and eliminate the interfering elements, and they also helped me send forth righteous thoughts. After some time, however, I was still sleepy and I lost confidence in cultivation. I felt it was hard to act like a practitioner and even wanted to give up. After so many thoughts back and forth, I still decided to firmly cultivate. Gradually, I read more sharing articles on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website and learned that many practitioners were memorizing and reciting the Fa. Some practitioners have recited Zhuan Falun 10 times, and Teacher also mentioned previously that practitioners in Changchun City were memorizing the Fa. I thought, why not memorize the Fa? This way I would know what to do when things come up. When reciting the Fa, I found myself no longer sleepy and I could remain more focused. I had spent lots of time on Fa-study in the past, but the effect was not very good, probably because I was absent-minded and did not really pay attention to what I was reading. After beginning to memorize and recite the Fa, I understood many Fa principles. I realized that many attachments could be eliminated when one studies or recites the Fa. As long as you calm down and can be determined, Teacher will eliminate the bad elements for you. I also better understood the process of cultivation, of enduring in everyday society, remaining undisturbed in the face of conflicts, and many other things. It is Teacher who enlightened me with so many Fa-principles, in order for me to do better. I finished reciting Zhuan Falun the first time in about three months. Now I am reciting it for the second time.
3. Letting go of fundamental attachments
In Essentials for Further Advancement II, Teacher said,
"After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven't gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa."
If one realizes one's fundamental attachment but does not want to get rid of it, this person is not a genuine practitioner. Also, the evil can easily take advantage of it. So I decided to improve.
After searching for my fundamental attachments for one month, I still did not find it. During this process, I came across many attachments, thinking they were my fundamental attachments. However, it turned out that none of them were my fundamental attachment. Later, with Teacher's enlightenment, I realized that fear of loneliness was my fundamental attachment. Many attachments were derived from it. Since childhood, I always want to have a companion to accompany me--a best friend in school or a best friend at work. Later, I had a boyfriend and got married. So there was always someone with me. Even after I got married, I would feel very upset when my husband left me alone for a while. Because of this attachment, many other attachments arose. After realizing this, I remembered Teacher's words, that one would not feel lonely if one is thinking about saving others. Gradually I was able to study the Fa for several hours, or prepare truth-clarification materials by myself. Teacher helped me eliminate all the bad elements.
4. Saving sentient beings
During the truth-clarification process, I found I had many attachments. For example, I only clarified the truth to friends and relatives, but not to everyone I met. I also had selfness and a strong attachment of fear, thinking that strangers might report me to the police. When preparing truth-clarification materials, I tended to finish the job quickly rather than paying attention to quality. I later realized that, when clarifying the truth, we need to remain patient and calm, not fearful of people's unwillingness to listen. Little by little, we need to clarify the truth specifically on topics that people are confused or concerned about, rather than just hurrying to talk with more people. We need to have compassion and patience, as well as be considerate of other people. Truth clarification will be much more effective this way.
Once when clarifying the truth to someone, I felt nervous and did not know where to get started. In fact, the attachment of hurriedness blocked my wisdom. I learned for this lesson and became calmer. Later on, as I became calmer in my truth-clarification, people became more willing to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I also learned a lot when sharing understandings with other practitioners.
Ever since the Minghui/Clearwisdom website posted the announcement of morning group exercise, I felt it was a very good thing since I had not been able to do the exercises regularly in the past. Now, I am able to join the group exercise as well as send forth righteous thoughts four times a day. In the past, I sometimes missed sending forth righteous thoughts because of laziness, attachment to comfort, human notions, pursuit for material interest, etc. I will do better in studying the Fa and memorizing the Fa, so as to let go of attachments. I will do the "three things" well and return to the origin.
Above is my sharing about the past several years of my cultivation. Please point out anything that is inappropriate.
