(Clearwisdom.net)
I have been cultivating for more than 10 years, but my level has been rising very slowly and I have still remained at the stage of personal cultivation. I did not enter into Fa-Rectification period cultivation. My laziness and the intention of avoiding hardship have especially been dragging me down. Every morning I had a fight in my head about whether to get up for the early morning exercises, and many times I was defeated. Every time I regretted it very much. So before I went to sleep I always made the decision to get up early the next day. But, in the morning, sleepiness and the desire to avoid hardship found excuses such as "I can do the exercises later." My main consciousness was not strong enough and I fell back to sleep. I was disturbed by this very much but I was not able to break through it and was not able to thoroughly get rid of the demon of laziness and cultivate diligently.
Recently, I thought about this again and I decided to completely clean up this interference. First, I made it clear that those thoughts of laziness and seeking comfort are not the real thoughts of my main consciousness. They are incorrect notions which one should eliminate during cultivation. Master's Fa can help to eliminate them. I calmed down during my Fa study, no longer treated Fa study as a task, and tried to read as much as I could. When I studied the Fa with a calm mind, Master's hints came out from the Fa. Master said:
"Whether you can practice cultivation all depends upon whether you can endure, sacrifice, and suffer." (Zhuan Falun)
Yes, I want to cultivate. How can I not be willing to suffer even so little? How can I not want to get up early and make myself cultivate diligently? Those are human notions I developed and they cover up my true self.
Thinking further, why did I so much want comfort for my body? I was thinking of the comfort of a human being as real comfort. I treated myself as a non-cultivator. If one seeks the happiness and comfort of an ordinary person, then he is not a cultivator. He wants what worldly people want. He will be disturbed by all the unfairness in society and he will have attachments concerned with when cultivation ends and the environment for cultivation, his free time, and news reports. He will spend a lot of time paying attention to what's happening in the world rather than spending time studying the Fa! This is totally off the requirement of the Fa.
Currently, in Mainland China the practitioners are still undergoing persecution, including my wife. I'm also watched by the police. That became my excuse and I started to treat things in an ordinary person's way. I was not very solid and firm as a true practitioner should be. I was at the level of a person who does not cultivate and I was seeking worldly comfort. I did not treat myself as a true cultivator. A true cultivator should be able to cultivate under any conditions and in any environment. They are not going to change with changes in their environment. They know they need to face any environment and none of the things non-practitioners seek are their final goal. If one's heart remains at a non-practitioners level, then one will follow the notions of this human world. A true cultivator should break free from all human notions. He can only be lifted up when he follows the standard for cultivators.
January 8, 2008
