(Clearwisdom.net) I retired in 1996 and left my hometown to go and live with my daughter. It was there that I became a Falun Gong practitioner. Over ten years have since passed.
I have spent more than half of my life believing the Chinese Communist Party's falsehood that one's political inclination is completely determined by family background, making "class struggle" a top priority. Because of this, I have developed eccentric and self-confident characteristics. I do not like to socialize with others (especially strangers). When we moved to our new environment, the people we interacted with became even less, which was a disadvantage for my advancement in cultivation.
Luckily, five of my family members are practitioners. The home has become an important environment for my cultivation. The family members all have their own personality characteristics, temper and habits. Therefore, the family becomes a small society that is often full of conflicts and friction. During the conflicts, many attachments are exposed. When faced with personal gain, we can look inward and improve together. This especially can help uncover shortcomings that are not easily identifiable.
For example, when I see my family members are not acting like practitioners, I am upset. I always look at others' shortcomings and never think about changing myself. In fact, it is due to my jealousy and the competitive mentality. I also argue for small things in daily life, and do not realize it is due to my bad temper and I need to cultivate to eliminate it.
With the help of family practitioners and continuous Fa-study, I gradually gain a deeper understanding of the Fa principles. While doing the three things, I slowly dig my attachments out from the root and eliminate them. I know all of this could not be done without help from Master. Master sees that I have understood the Fa principles and helps eliminate the bad substances for me.
I remember once when I was meditating, although I was calm, I was half asleep. I did not even hear Master's instructions on the tape. When I became clear-headed again, I noticed that the others had already moved on to the next movement of the exercise. Just like that! I even thought I was practicing well. I thought: "I have reached such a calm state. It is great!" I did not even realize that this was not considered practicing at all. I was in that state for a while. Later, Master used my spouse's mouth to remind me. Through Fa-study, I realized that this was not the right state.
Master said:
"You all know about enduring hardship. Yet you haven't realized that your sleepiness, too, is a demon tormenting you and trying to stop you from cultivating! Isn't this when your willpower should take control? I don't believe that if you keep your eyes open you'll still fall asleep! Open your eyes during the exercises if you can't control it. You have to pass this hurdle." ("Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun")
"You fall asleep while studying the Fa, you fall asleep while reading the book, you also fall asleep while doing the exercises. You haven't even broken through the beginning stage yet. It's about willpower!" ("Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun")
After I understood the Fa principles, I improved in this area. When I did the meditation exercise again, it felt so wonderful.
After studying the Fa with family and looking inward, my family becomes harmonized. I can listen to others' suggestions and can accept criticism. Because we all follow the Fa's requirements, my family environment has become better and better. However, the outside environment is equally important. It requires that we develop and maintain a righteous cultivation state. Otherwise, how would we do the three things well?
From now on, I will manage my surrounding environments well. I will improve myself and upgrade my xinxing in doing the three things. I will strive to offer salvation to sentient beings so I can catch up with the pace of Fa-rectification. I will eliminate my attachments in order to go toward consummation and follow Master home.
This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.
