(Clearwisdom.net) In recent years, several practitioners close to me were persecuted to death by the old forces with sickness tribulations. They did not fulfill their missions to save sentient beings and left eternal regrets. Although I sent forth righteous thoughts for them and shared understandings with them, I did not really help them whole-heartedly.
Starting on October 1, I worked on painting my house for two consecutive days. While studying the Fa in the evening, my neck did not feel well. I found a lump in the lower portion of my neck. It was a little painful when I touched it. A concept came into my mind, "It's lymph cancer." I could not help but feel scared. I remembered that a practitioner from our local practice site passed away because of this disease. When she died, she was the same age as I am now. I wondered, "Did I catch the same disease?" I then rejected this idea immediately. "I am a practitioner. How can I catch a disease of ordinary people?" I tried my best to reject this concept of disease.
The concept, "it's a lymph cancer" repeatedly pestered me and didn't want to give up. My thoughts started to waiver, "How can I pass this sickness tribulation? How should I firm up my righteous thoughts? How can I let go of the attachment to life and death and allow Master to arrange for the problem to be solved?" All my thoughts sounded like I was still very determined and that my thoughts were all based on the Fa. However, I clearly sensed the fact that these doubt-filled thoughts were not mine. They were forced into my mind by the old forces. The old forces wanted to force me to acknowledge the sickness tribulation so they could persecute me. Although I rejected the thoughts diligently, they fought against me in my mind without stopping. I strengthened my righteous thoughts, looked at things with righteous thoughts, and told myself, "Everything happening is illusion. The tribulation's purpose is to alter my belief in Dafa." (I found my attachment at the same time. I did not fully believe in the Fa.) Right away, I held my hand upright and started to send forth righteous thoughts: "Completely clear away the evil thoughts and don't allow the persecution of the old forces to take place." Gradually, those deviated thoughts disappeared and I completely forgot about them.
After several days, I touched my neck accidentally. The lump was gone. Everything was back to normal. It is just as Master said, "good or evil comes from a person's spontaneous thought" (Zhuan Falun)
