(Clearwisdom.net) I have a new understanding of letting go of attachments that I would like to share them with fellow practitioners.
A few years ago something happened at work that affected me personally. I was moved and got very upset. Then I remembered, "This is not right. I am a Falun Gong practitioner and I have to let go of such feelings." I believed that this was the true thought arising from deep within me, some power surging from inside me and warming my entire body, making me peaceful and calm. I was able to let go of the attachment right away. It was magical, but I didn't understand it in terms of the Fa principles. I didn't look within, but I knew that I should hold such thoughts.
Once when I was reading the Fa, I was very tired. Then I remembered, "I am a cultivator and I can overcome this. No one can prevent me from studying the Fa." Within seconds, my mind became very clear and I was not tired any more. I could read every single character without a problem. I had not known that this one thought would work this well, but the change was remarkable.
I was afraid to distribute truth clarification materials and explain the real situation about Falun Gong and the persecution. When I identified the fear and tried to get rid of it, I reminded myself, "I am a cultivator and a Dafa practitioner in the time of Fa-rectification. I must do this to save sentient beings." Then I relaxed. I knew that fear was a kind of material that can make one's heart beat faster. One can get depressed and think about being arrested. I realized that fear is a human mentality and is selfish, whereas what we are doing is altruistic and selfless. We are also eliminating our attachment to self during the process.
When I developed zealotry and a show-off mentality, I thought, "I am a cultivator. I don't want you. Everything was given by Teacher. What do you have to show off?" Then I became more rational. Zealotry and a show-off mentality make us excited and irrational and makes us want to validate ourselves. Whenever I have conflicts with others, I remind myself, "I am a cultivator. I must tolerate other people including fellow practitioners. I can only look for my own shortcomings. Zealotry and showing off are not behaviors consistent with a practitioner's behavior." Sometimes when my attachment to lust surfaced or I became infatuated with someone, I would tell myself, "I am a cultivator, a practitioner in the time of the Fa-rectification. I am pure and don't want any of this filthy stuff." Or I would keep saying in my mind, "I am a cultivator." When longstanding conflicts with others resurfaced and I started to blame the other person, I would just realign my thinking: "I cannot allow these bad thoughts to form thought karma, because it will accumulate. I know these thoughts will keep coming back, but they will weaken over time."
Through studying the Fa and cultivating my xinxing, I have gradually gained a deeper understanding of what "I am a cultivator" means. Teacher said,"What's not a right mind? It refers to a person's inability to always treat himself as a practitioner." (from Zhuan Falun)
When we treat ourselves as cultivators in times of tribulation, we position ourselves properly. Then we can face the issues with righteous thoughts and control and rectify ourselves. Of course, we still need to study the Fa more or even memorize the Fa and follow the teachings in our thoughts and actions. This is the key.
It is dangerous when our human mentalities surface and we cannot remember that we are cultivators. I have come a long way under Teacher's merciful guidance. Let us advance diligently and fulfill our vows.
The above is my understanding. Please, kindly point out anything inappropriate.
October 23, 2008
