(Clearwisdom.net) Before the Olympic Games, several of our fellow practitioners were held in a local brainwashing class. On September 17, 2008, I thought that since the Olympic Games for the Disabled would be over soon, we could use the chance to rescue our fellow practitioners. I tried to contact a local coordinator, but I could not reach her. I didn't realize that there was a reason I couldn't reach her. I called another coordinator the next day with no result. On September 19, 2008, I planned to go to see fellow practitioner A, who used to be the coordinator, thinking that maybe she could contact others. After I got off from the third shift, I came home to pick up an umbrella since it was starting to rain. I saw that my wife was at home. She has been opposed to my doing Dafa-related work. I was afraid she would be mad at me, so I stayed home until she went to work in the afternoon. I felt the urgency to leave, but I also felt I shouldn't create conflict for our family since she doesn't understand Dafa. Thinking it over now, I was using human thoughts and human notions at the time, instead of righteous, divine thoughts. As everyday human beings are very weak, as long as my righteous thoughts are strong, she shouldn't be able to disturb me.
This exposed my sentimentality, as I was afraid she would be mad at me. Digging deeper, I found my selfish heart. If she lost her temper at me, I would feel hurt. I was protecting myself from being hurt. On the evening of September 19, 2008, I finally reached practitioner A and talked to her about the rescue plan. I had hoped she would notify others, but her reply was, "We all know about the situation, and the coordinators have already planned things well." I felt that this might not be so, but I accepted what she said and went home.
The next day I went with fellow practitioner A to a place near the brainwashing center to send forth righteous thoughts. When I got there, there were no other fellow practitioners. I thought, "Maybe they are late." An hour later, there were still no other practitioners. I couldn't wait any longer, so I discussed this with practitioner A. She was also surprised and said, "I can't believe the coordinators arranged it so poorly, such an important thing. I would never do it this way when I was a coordinator." Finally, we realized that instead of always focusing on others, we should do things ourselves. We called fellow practitioners who lived near by to come send forth righteous thoughts. We also talked to the coordinators. They didn't realize that today was the day. Some of them forgot the date, and due to a variety of interference, it turned out like this.
During the process of notifying everyone, while I was still complaining about coordinators and others, suddenly the chain fell disengaged from my bicycle. I understood immediately. Uh-huh, it is my fault. I shouldn't complain, I should cultivate myself, I should look inward. This is for Dafa -- why separate whose duty it is? If you want to coordinate then do it. I was not thinking on the basis of the Fa. I focused on self deep within again -- it was my selfish heart.
I discussed the situation again with fellow practitioner A, and we both realized that we were looking outward, and had serious attachments to dependence and relying on others. Because of this dependent mentality, for the Fa study on September 18, 2008, I didn't notify anyone, and only focused on coordinators, letting them make arrangements. If I had gotten rid of the attachment of dependence sooner, the outcome would have been different. After we realized this point, the situation became smoother. We were able to find the relatives of the practitioners who were held in the brainwashing session. The relatives agreed to demand the release of their family members the next day. On the next day, numerous fellow practitioners came to send forth righteous thoughts near the brainwashing center, and the fellow practitioners were released that afternoon.
I almost never write experience sharing articles, as I always feel that I don't write very well. I wrote this article because first, I read articles on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website written by fellow practitioners and I felt that I should share my experience to help us elevate as a group. I should not only take and not give. Second, I found my attachment to dependence, which was covered up deep within me. Third, I want to remind local fellow practitioners that they all have attachments to dependence and relying on coordinators. No one takes action without an arrangement from the coordinators. So I hope this article will make them aware and become more diligent so that they catch up with the Fa standard. We should not wait, ask, or rely on others, but truly become a responsible cultivator.
