(Clearwisdom.net) I began studying Falun Dafa in 1995 and hold myself fortunate to have been able to follow Master's Fa-rectification up to today. I know very well that I must listen to Master, treasure each step that I have walked, and try to do better in the future. But I feel ashamed to say that I had loopholes that were taken advanatage of due to my lack of Fa study and failing to cultivate myself well, and I was arrested and detained in a brainwashing class.
Looking back, though I did know that Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples must do the three things and do them well, I nonetheless treated these "three things" as duties that I must accomplish. I didn't do them wholeheartedly and just followed the formalities. In fact, I wasn't clear on what I was doing and didn't have a sense of responsibility. I treated myself as an everyday person. It was reflected in my being satisfied with myself whenever I did anything and feeling superior to others as soon as I did something well. I didn't look inward, but looked for others' faults instead. I even criticized others behind their backs, blaming everything on other people. I did hope that the Olympic games in China would not happen and had resentment toward the persecution. Did I act like a cultivator? I was like an everyday person in the group of Falun Dafa practitioners. In May, the wrongdoers in our county started to arrest people. I was frightened, and my loophole was taken advantage of.
I have learned my lesson. I didn't take every opportunity to cultivate myself. I didn't pay attention to improving my xinxing or getting rid of my attachments, nor did I correctly position my heart. "Validating the Fa and saving sentient beings" is our mission. I must not fail in my mission and let Master down. I did fall, but I will not stay down. I must get up! I hope fellow practitioners can learn from my lesson. Let's truly cultivate ourselves and look inwards. As for myself, this is a new start in being steadfast and cherishing the limited time left.
