(Clearwisdom.net)
Hello Teacher, hello fellow practitioners.
I would like to share today three experiences I had that I hope will be helpful to fellow practitioners on their path of cultivation and saving sentient beings. The first is about finding a fundamental attachment, the second is about trying to validate the Fa through academic research, and the third is about coordinating a small truth-clarification project.
A Fundamental Attachment to Happiness
In the article, "Towards Consummation," Teacher talks about the importance of letting go of our fundamental attachments. He says:
"Some truly see the Fa-principles of Dafa; while many other students have found with their human notions various yearnings and wishes in Dafa, and, compelled by these human attachments, they have come to practice cultivation in Dafa."
Then he says:
"It isn't wrong for human beings in this world to yearn with these attachments for beautiful dreams and wishes. But a cultivator definitely shouldn't be that way. You may start on the path of Dafa with those thoughts, yet over the course of cultivation you need to regard yourself as a cultivator. During the course of cultivation, however, through reading the books, studying the Fa, and diligently making progress, you should clearly recognize what your thoughts were when you first came to Dafa. After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven't gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa."
For a long time, I would read this article and feel pain in my heart because I felt that I hadn't gotten rid of my fundamental attachment. I asked myself the questions: What were my thoughts when I first came to Dafa? Why did I start practicing? But I had a hard time finding the fundamental answers. In "Towards Consummation," Teacher mentions some examples, like people finding that Dafa fits with their understanding of science or their dissatisfaction with politics or that people came to practice because they felt Dafa could salvage humankind's degenerate morals or heal their illnesses. When I read this list I felt that none of these was really the reason I had started to practice.
Then one day in January, I was feeling depressed, frustrated and very emotional and I really wanted to feel better. I found myself looking for things that might "cheer me up" - maybe I should go sit in a café? Or go for a walk in the park? Or maybe go to the beach? Or maybe I could call another practitioner and see if they wanted to read or share together? But I realized that this was actually looking outward for the answer. So, I tried to look inside and find what attachment I had that was making me feel so terrible, so that I could let go of it and then feel better. It was then that I realized that the attachment was actually this wish to feel better, this wish to be happy.
I thought about it a bit more and found that my fundamental attachment, the reason I had started practicing, was because I was pursuing happiness in this world and felt that practicing Falun Gong would bring me this happiness. But it wasn't other people's definitions of happiness, like wanting wealth, power, money, or health. Rather, it was my own definition of happiness and of a "good life," a more spiritual one perhaps. It was wanting to be tranquil and calm, to take material things lightly, to feel that I'm a good person. Those were my "beautiful dreams and wishes."
That's why I had started practicing and that was still the basis on which I wanted to let go of my attachments. It wasn't to fundamentally break from the human world and become a god, to unconditionally elevate my level and assimilate to Zhen, Shan, Ren. Rather, it was because I wanted to get something out of it - happiness and peace of mind. I suddenly saw how many other attachments stemmed from this fundamental one and how it blocked me from truly understanding the Fa from within the Fa. For example, I would study the Fa in order to have a calm mind or I would do the exercises in order to feel better or not be so tired.
Having seen this attachment, I naturally started being able to break away from it and do things on a different basis. Suddenly, I was studying the Fa for its own sake, to assimilate to the cosmos, help Teacher rectify the Fa by rectifying my own dimensions and set an example for the future. It was not for me to get something out of it in the human world. I started doing the exercises because that is what is in line with the Fa and what Teacher has told us to do, not because I will get something out if it or see some result in the human world.
I truly feel like even though I had been practicing Falun Gong for five years, it was only on that day seven months ago that I really started cultivating. I feel so thankful to Teacher for helping me see it. Even though the clarity I had at that moment has faded because the cultivated part was taken away, I still feel like my perspective of the Fa is purer. Looking back, I think that the reason it took me so long to find this attachment is because it seemed to me that pursuing things like peace of mind or feeling happy was okay because they were relatively righteous compared to seeking money or a cure for an illness. But they were still pursuits and they were still "beautiful dreams and wishes" that I wanted to achieve in the ordinary world.
Breaking through Academic Notions to Validate the Fa
This year I am studying international law, so when I saw that there was going to be a conference about international criminal law accountability, I decided to submit a paper about the lawsuits around the world against the main people responsible for the persecution of Falun Gong in China. My idea was accepted by the conference and I had one month to do the research and prepare my presentation.
I really wanted to make the most of this opportunity to clarify the truth to the lawyers and students that would be in the audience, but when I started doing the research, I found that I was really blocked by my notions about how to do so-called "good" academic research. I had a strong sense that there was a conflict between ordinary academic methodologies and the conclusion I felt I should reach based on the Fa.
Based on the Fa, I wanted to tell people that the lawsuits were important and successful, but my academic notions made me very sceptical about why the lawsuits were important and I felt that they actually weren't very successful because no Chinese officials had been arrested. I couldn't figure out how to reconcile the two approaches and was feeling a lot of pressure. Other practitioners tried to point out to me that I should look at this first from the Fa, but I was very resistant to the idea.
After similar hints from more practitioners and some technical difficulties, I finally looked inside. I found that the root of the problem was that I was more concerned with validating myself than validating the Fa. In the article, "Validation" in Essentials for Further Advancement, Teacher says:
"It is not for you to become a pioneer that the Buddha Fa has given you wisdom. You have attained it because you are a cultivator. That is, you are first a cultivator and then an expert. Then, as a cultivator, you should make use of all feasible conditions to spread Dafa and validate Dafa as a correct and true science, rather than preaching or idealism--this is every cultivator's obligation."
After realizing this, I sat down and made a list of what it meant to validate the Fa in this context as opposed to validating myself. My understanding is that validating the Fa is to help Teacher rectify the Fa, to establish righteous principles in the human world and to show people the goodness of the Fa. Also, when we act according to the Fa, we validate it. On the other hand, validating myself meant wanting to get good feedback on my research, have people agree with my conclusions and show that I was doing important work and that "I'm very capable and a winner" like it says in "Zhuan Falun."
This process helped me see my attachments more clearly, but I still wasn't very clear about what was good or bad based on the Fa in this particular context. So, I went through all of Teacher's lectures and compiled the places where He talked about the lawsuits. I also did some searches on Clearwisdom and found sharings by other practitioners about the lawsuits.
After I read them, I understood more deeply that Teacher always emphasized the process and not the results, whereas ordinary legal methodology often focuses on the results. I started to genuinely understand and appreciate what an amazing achievement it was to file so many lawsuits and how they had really exposed and frightened the evil.
With a more solid understanding from the Fa, I made a list of what were the righteous principles I was trying to validate with this research. I realized, for example, that suing officials for persecuting practitioners validates the principle that good and bad deeds receive corresponding returns. Also, that the lawsuits strongly establish the principle that the persecution relates to everyone, not just Chinese people, because it is an assault on the fundamental principles of humanity. I also made a list of the main things that I hoped the people in the audience would walk away with - basically that Falun Gong practitioners are innocent but being brutally persecuted, that it is a really good thing that lawyers around the world are standing up for justice, and that when people do that, it can actually make a difference.
As I went through this process, the main points I should make in the paper and presentation slowly became clear. I also realized that I could use the form of ordinary academic methodology, so people wouldn't feel that this was "preaching or idealism." Putting the Power Point presentation together then went really smoothly. I also practiced it a few times and did a dry run on some of my friends, so that they could hear it even though they weren't going to be at the conference.
When I finally gave the paper at the conference, the feedback was very good. One person said that he really appreciated that I brought in the moral considerations of why international law and human rights work are important. I felt that was a hint from Teacher to encourage me that I was on the right track and that I should never be afraid to base my academic research on righteous principles.
Besides academic research, this experience made me realize the importance of having a solid understanding from the Fa for every truth-clarification project we work on. When we do things based on the Fa, then the Fa and Teacher will rectify people's notions and save them. We can become a conduit for the Fa and accomplish the task at hand faster and more effectively. But when we do Dafa work based on our human notions, then we create artificial blocks and gaps for the evil to exploit so everything becomes more difficult and the effect isn't as good.
Learning to Base Coordination on the Fa
About a month after the academic conference, I had another experience that taught me to apply this understanding to other projects as well and especially to coordinating.
The experience happened at a two-day conference that a group of practitioners attended in order to clarify the truth. A few of us had gone to the conference before but for one of the practitioners, it was his first time. Since I had the most experience with this project, on the first morning, I explained to him what would happen at the conference. I also told him what he could do there to clarify the truth and how to go up and talk to people. He was resistant, especially about approaching people out of the blue, but I just thought - "He's a practitioner, he should get over his fear. Why can't he just trust me and do what I suggest?"
That evening when we were heading home, I pointed out to him that I thought he hadn't done enough talking to different people. He then said that he felt I was being pushy. I didn't pay much attention to that at first, but when we got home, we all studied the Fa together for a bit and then shared our understandings about the conference and how things had gone on the first day. I then realized that he was right and that I had been pushy. I had gone around giving orders without any additional explanation, instead of sharing my understanding of the Fa, basing my suggestions on the Fa, and respecting his choice to do what he thought was right.
In the article, "How to Provide Assistance" in Essentials for Further Advancement, Teacher said:
"Yet there are also some assistants who have not done so well, and this mainly manifests in their methods of work. For instance, in order to make the students listen to them and to make it easier to carry out their work, some assistants have done their work by issuing orders. This is not permitted. Learning the Fa should be voluntary. If a student does not want to do so from the bottom of his heart, no problems can be solved. Instead, tensions may arise."
As I realized this, I and some of the other practitioners who had the most experience with this kind of conference started sharing why we felt it was important both to clarify the truth well and to be an active participant. We also shared about why we felt it was particularly important to talk to these specific people and how it compared from that perspective to other projects.
The next morning, the other practitioner said that he had been thinking about our sharing from the night before and had enlightened to the fact that we should do this project well. That day, he was much more active in clarifying the truth and at the end he said he wanted to go next year too.
I learned a few really important lessons from this experience, which is why I wanted to share it with you. The main thing I learned was that we should never underestimate fellow practitioners' ability to understand things based on the Fa or feel it is a waste of time to share our understandings and bring a practitioner that is new to a project up to speed.
As coordinators, we've given a lot of thought to our understanding from the Fa about the importance of certain projects. We've been doing it for years, we've joined meetings and we've thought about the project from many different angles and perspectives. On the other hand, someone who is new to a project has not had that experience or opportunity to think in depth about it and so they may have only looked at it from one angle. So, when someone new joins a project or when we're trying to encourage people, it's our responsibility as coordinators to bring them up to speed not just about the practical details, but perhaps more importantly, about the Fa principles we understand as well. My understanding is that this is important not only so that things go more smoothly and we act as one body, but on a more fundamental level, so that we can truly validate the Fa and save beings in the most comprehensive way.
Of course, this actually works both ways. If we're a practitioner who is new to a project, it's our responsibility to take the initiative to ask the coordinators about their understandings or study parts of the Fa where Teacher talks about it. This way we'll be ensuring that we're working on the project from a pure place in our hearts--to save sentient beings--and not for the purpose of accomplishing a task or impressing the practitioner in charge.
I hope this sharing is helpful to fellow practitioners. Before I conclude, I also wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to you all before I move back to the US next month. Over the last two years of living in the UK, I have learned so much from all of you. Even more so, you have truly been like a family and taken very good care me, especially when my husband was away on tour.
So, I thought I'd end with some words Teacher said at the "2003 Metropolitan New York Fa Conference" about treasuring our time together:
"Once you've reached Consummation and returned it'll be almost impossible for you to see each other again, even if you want to. So, you should treasure this part of your karmic relationship. And what's more, those karmic relationships of yours have been intertwined with each other, and different karmic relationships were formed over every lifetime--it hasn't been easy. So, cooperate well when you do things. Each Dafa disciple's thing is everybody else's. Don't create distance and disharmony between each other over some little, trivial thing. You can't do that, and you should treasure all this."
Thank you again for your support, sharing, righteous thoughts and in the case of the practitioners at Holborn--your baozi (dumplings) too. Please point out any understanding that is incorrect.
Xie Xie Shifu (Thank you Master)! Xie Xie Da Jia (Thank you all)!