(Clearwisdom.net)
I came to understand the miraculousness of Falun Dafa from my mother's cultivation experience. Even though I knew that Dafa is good, I used to be so attached to fame, self-interest and qing, so I couldn't make up my mind to cultivate for a long time. It was about a year before I finally became determined to snap out of my muddle-headed state and began to truly cultivate.
Before cultivation, I didn't know what I should really be doing, but my heart was with Dafa. Whenever I struggled with fame, self-interest and the emotions of ordinary people, there was a voice echoing in my ear: "No matter how far I wander away, I will come back. I mean it." I knew that I would come back eventually, return to the path to my original, true self, and come back to the cultivation of Falun Dafa.
After cultivating for one year, I came to truly understand Master's benevolent care for us, which helped me to overcome one difficulty after another. I was reading the precious book Zhuan Falun, and I was convinced by Teacher's Fa principles. I saw how attached I was to ordinary people's fame, self-interest and emotions. I feel so lucky that I have come to understand more deeply Teacher's great benevolence.
Teacher Arranged My Cultivation PathI am the youngest daughter, and I am very attached to my mom. Maybe because I am the youngest, I am not as capable as my sisters, and I tended to want to do things my own way. When I was little, I had a lot more attention from my mom. At that time, I didn't understand my mom's painstaking efforts at raising me, so I often fought with her. I ended up throwing temper tantrums and breaking things. I made my mom very sad, yet I felt that I had been wronged and wondered why my mother treated me so strictly. In reality, my mom was taking care of us day and night, and I made her sad instead. I felt disturbed in my heart. How come it's so hard to be a human being?
During the first year of my cultivating with my mom, we still argued, but it was different than in the past, because I was a true cultivator in Falun Dafa. Teacher said that nothing happens accidentally in cultivation. I came to understand that when conflicts arose, they were trials that Teacher set for me to elevate my xinxing. In the past, I never thought about looking within. I often thought that I was right, and it was others' fault. When others found fault with me, I often argued my point of view only. If something resonated with my notions, I would listen, but I refused to listen to anything else. After I began to cultivate, I got better about this, but this kind of situation still happened frequently. Every time my mom pointed out my fundamental attachments, I would refuse to acknowledge or address it.
Every time I ran into a "xinxing" test, when I had very strong righteous thoughts, I said in my heart, "I am Teacher's disciple, and I will hold myself to the standards of 'Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance'. I will not let Teacher down". Therefore, I was able to pass the test rationally and clearheadedly. I also came to understand the deeper meaning of Teacher's Fa principles, so my xinxing was elevated as well.
Teacher said in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four,
"But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve."
Sometimes, I do understand that it was Teacher testing me through my mom's words, to see if I could let go of certain attachments. At the beginning, I could realize that I was a practitioner and that I should look within. But as she kept going, I couldn't stand it anymore. I became so upset and wanted to defend myself. Teacher said that "the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Lecture One of Zhuan Falun). I understand that I haven't let go of certain attachments, because I haven't paid enough attention to them. Even though it seems as if I am not attached to certain attachments, the improvement happened only superficially.
I understand that Teacher has arranged a great cultivation path for me. Being able to cultivate with my mom, I should make good use of it. I should be strict with myself and cultivate diligently along with my mom.
Assimilate to Dafa, Purify My HeartCultivation is the most serious thing. We should never forget the fact that we are Falun Dafa practitioners and always measure ourselves against Dafa's principles. I used to always think about things from my own standpoint. Whatever I did, I did it for myself, and I didn't cultivate my speech. I did what I felt like doing and was driven by sentimentality, which created karma. I understand that Teacher's grand benevolence is for me to be able to obtain the Fa and be saved, and Teacher has given me one chance after another. During studying the Fa and doing the exercises, I finally came to understand what Teacher said about cultivation, that we needed to be "full of great aspirations while minding minor details." ("Sage" in Essentials for Further Advancement) Even in our day-to-day life, in our interactions with others, in very minor things, we need to rectify our every thought and action to measure up to the standard of Dafa. We should improve our xinxing and look within in everything we come across.
Because I grew up in the CCP culture, a few times I even hummed songs praising the wicked Party. Even before I was a practitioner, I would not sing these songs. I came to understand that this was a way the old forces interfered with my Fa rectification and also that the poisonous elements from the evil specters in my body have not been completely cleaned out. I understand that this is very important. Right away I began to send forth righteous thoughts to completely eliminate it. I studied the Fa and did the exercises more diligently to assimilate into Dafa. I understand that when I only have Dafa in my heart, I can completely eliminate this poisonous ulcer. Every time I finish studying the Fa and doing the exercises, I feel that my heart is purified one more time, and I am so calm. I have come to feel deeply the wonderfulness of Dafa and Teacher's benevolence.
Clarifying the Truth, Saving People With Predestined RelationshipsMy mother never lets an opportunity to clarify the truth and save people with predestined relationships go by. No matter where she is, whether it's on a train, in a cab, on a bus, or just walking along the road, she brings the truth to those places. Based on the person and the circumstances, sometimes she is quite gentle and sometimes she is firm. I was so afraid that my mom would run into trouble, but she said to me, "Whether to clarify the truth or not is Dafa practitioners' business, and whether that person listens or not is his business. Everything is done by Teacher, and it's gods who save people. When we clarify the truth, we should not do it with attachments." In the past, I couldn't understand her, nor did I understand why she clarifies the truth to everyone she runs into. I said to her before, "Doing it at home is good enough, don't spread the word all over the world."
After I studied the Fa, I came to understand what it means to be a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple and the significance of Dafa practitioners clarifying the truth. Not only should I not stop her, but instead I should work with her to clarify the truth well and hand out truth-clarification materials. I began to clarify the truth to my classmates and friends, and I talked to them about withdrawing from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. The process of clarifying the truth is also a process of rectifying my every thought and getting rid of my attachment of fear, as well as eliminating the poisonous factors of the evil Party culture in my mind. After clarifying the truth for a while, I have seen that there are many people in the world waiting for Dafa practitioners to save them. The wicked Party has made the precious Chinese people lose their nature. The truth is so important to them. As Dafa practitioners, the task we are shouldering is so grand and sacred. We must follow Teacher's requirements to do the three things, which is also being responsible for our lives and those of sentient beings.
