(Clearwisdom.net) One evening several days ago when I was reading about a problem described in Teacher's "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in New Zealand" I suddenly felt that the problem was relevant to me. Later I repeatedly studied this paragraph and other related Fa lectures; I improved a lot in regard to this problem. I now understand how to cultivate by keeping the right state of mind in my everyday life and work, how to rectify myself with the Fa and make advancements based on the Fa and how to be a qualified Dafa disciple during this Fa-rectification period. Now I'd like to share with everyone my experience in studying Teacher's Fa lectures, please point out anything improper.
"Question: My demon-nature is quite strong, and the setting around me isn't good. How should I deal with this?
"Teacher: "I think both of those things are related to your cultivation. It's either to help you eliminate karma or to help you improve your xinxing. So you have to look at them in the right way. Some people are in terribly difficult situations, but those are guaranteed to be good for you, since you are cultivators. The reason you think they aren't good for you is that you haven't shed your human side. You feel that you are being treated unfairly, and you think that this person shouldn't treat you like this, and instead he should treat you better. Yet from a practitioner's perspective, if everyone treated you so well, how would you cultivate? How would your attachments be exposed? How would you improve? How would you eliminate karma? Isn't that the question? So you shouldn't have a resentful or resistant attitude when you encounter challenges like these. You have to look at them in the right way since you are a cultivator." (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in New Zealand)
Why did I feel that what Teacher said was meant for my cultivation state?
Upper management supervisors recently came to inspect our department. During the inspection I found that I did not follow the regulations. When the mistake was pointed out to me, a resentful attitude immediately arose and yet I denied it. I was thinking: "I am serious about my job, which has been recognized by my supervisor and coworkers." I found another excuse for myself: "It is possible for a machine to break down, let alone me as a person. How could one have no such thing as 'what if'? Then my heart was affected and I always thought I was right and thought that the inspectors lacked integrity and credibility in their overall information. They only took a few samples of the overall business. How could that indicate I did not follow the regulations? I have so many tasks everyday, how could I not make any mistake. You may not do it as well as I.
Under the influence of these thoughts, which were formed from the evil communist party culture, I found many excuses to defend myself. I believed there were some problems in the system of my workplace. I believed the inspectors made everyone oversensitive, that if there was stealing in one place then all people were regarded as thieves. I believed they did not know that incidences of corruption were caused by unrighteous human hearts; that society had become worse, and I was lucky enough to study the Fa and realize all this. I resented the requirement at my workplace that everyone should not trust others in work and that the work process was tedious, etc. My human mind arose and I was not satisfied with this or that. I did not feel well in my heart and I knew it was my own problem. My heart was moved, thus I managed to resist it and wanted to get rid of it. My heart became calm. However several days later as someone mentioned this again, my human heart was moved again and I felt angry. I criticized the workplace and others there a lot.
I was also not satisfied with a coworker who had shift alongside me. Her daughter was taking entrance exams for college and I always took over her shift early so that she could go home and make dinner for her daughter. I would rather eat something quickly and get to my shift, however I found that she only superficially paid attention to her daughter's exams and she did not worry about her daughter. I felt that I wasted a lot of time on her and felt angry toward her. After going home I spoke about this with my husband. I felt this state was not right and I should not be so angry. However after going home I wanted to verify my righteousness by asking support and understanding from ordinary people. I completely treated myself similarly to ordinary people and regarded the conflict as an igniting fuse to vent my anger. I totally forgot I was a cultivator and so lost the opportunity to improve my xinxing. I was regretful after I had lost the opportunity and I also blamed myself for not doing well.
I repeatedly looked inward and found that I had a lot of attachments that needed to be removed, among which was the attachment of being unwilling to be criticized. My "mentality of showing off" was also serious. I often thought that I handled my job very well and expected other people to say that I was good in every aspect. The competitive mentality and the resentment in my work was sufficient to show how serious this mentality was. I also saw within myself the pursuit of fame and hidden jealousy. Sometimes I also had the pursuit of profit, because every day I met with people who made big business deals, and they indeed made a lot of money. I knew that this was not what a Falun Dafa disciple should do; therefore I did not follow them. However this does not mean that I did not still have the pursuit of profit.
In my family when I resented my husband due to housework, I blamed him for his laziness and his irresponsibility to the family, and his treating our home as a hotel. I always thought that I was tired from work, and besides I had to work on validating the Fa, not to mention the housework. His workload was light and I hoped that he would share part of the housework. However my wish never became true and I lived in conflict over this for twenty years. I knew that this was my selfishness, I was self-centered and always thought I was right. After I cultivated in Falun Dafa I thought that I was doing the greatest thing in the cosmos and I hoped he would understand and support me in my cultivation. Sometimes I felt "being self-righteous" so strongly and often asked him to do this or that; if he failed I would complain. However when he asked me to do something I would not feel well. This also showed that I had a very strong attachment to selfishness. I have to eliminate all these attachments in future cultivation, otherwise I can not meet the standard Teacher requires of us "to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism" ("Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature"in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Teacher stated in Zhuan Falun that "Why do we practice cultivation amidst the conflicts of everyday people? It is because we ourselves are going to obtain gong." (Lecture Eight). When I recited this paragraph of the Fa, it seemed to be clearly sent into my head. However when there was a conflict, I behaved differently and my cultivation was poor. Teacher told us more clearly in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" that
"Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments. If you always reject reproaches and criticism, always point your fingers at others, and always refute others' disapproval and criticism, is that cultivating? How is that cultivating? You have grown used to focusing on other people's shortcomings, and never take examining your own self seriously. When others' cultivation one day meets with success, what about you? Isn't Master hoping that you are cultivating well? Why won't you accept criticism, and why do you keep focusing on other people? Why not cultivate inward and examine your own self? Why do you get agitated when you are criticized? How many of you seated here can keep at ease when someone points at you out of the blue and berates you? How many of you can stay unruffled and search for the reason on your part when faced with others' criticism and chiding?"
Every one of us knows to "look inside oneself" and we know it is the Fa, however when encountering a problem, do we truly look inside ourselves?
Teacher has lectured about this issue very often. I treat the teachings seriously and improve myself through my actions. Now at my work place I am no longer angry, and I also have let go of stubbornness, sorted things out and become peaceful. I feel that the environment of our work and family is the place where all of our attachments are most easily exposed. We really should take advantage of these environments and every opportunity to eliminate every human notion to cultivate ourselves well and to be a qualified Falun Dafa disciple during the Fa-rectification period.
Please point out anything improper.
