(Clearwisdom.net)
Every practitioner will encounter tribulations related to xinxing improvement. Some tribulations are forcefully imposed by the old forces based on different excuses. We may or may not walk out of the tribulations. It depends on whether we have righteous thoughts, negate the tribulations using righteous thoughts, and defeat them with righteous thoughts. If we firmly remember and believe that "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful" (Essentials for Further Advancement II), we can definitely walk out of tribulations.
My experiences taught me to firmly believe in Teacher's Fa.
In late September 2004, my husband came home and told me that a community security guard was asking questions about me, including if I was working or not, what I was doing, etc. I was immediately on the alert. The next day, I shared my situation with other practitioners. They thought that I should take this casually, saying, "Nothing happens by accident" and that I should look inside. I decided to stay at home and study the Fa diligently, send righteous thoughts as much as possible, and look inward.
Two days later, after morning Fa study, I decided I could not continue to stay at home. I thought: Teacher asks us to do the three things well. It is not good to stop clarifying the truth because of interference. I decided to go to my mother's home and clarify the truth on the way. After setting off, I deliberately looked behind me. I noticed an unfamiliar man on a bicycle following me. Seeing me look back, he appeared nervous and stopped to make a call on his cellphone. I immediately felt that something was wrong, but was not sure whether or not I was being followed and monitored. To observe more closely, I did not immediately call a taxi. Instead, I walked to a nearby bus stop. At the bus stop, I pretended to turn around to check the road sign and saw that man had again stopped to make another call. He looked nervous and kept a stealthy eye on me. At that moment, I was sure I was being followed. This had never happened to me before and I felt very nervous. I sent righteous thoughts in my mind and quickly called a taxi to go to my mom's home. At the beginning of the ride, I could not calm down. Then I firmly held righteous thoughts. I repeated in my mind that I would only follow Teacher's arrangements. I clarified the truth to the taxi driver as I usually did.
Just as I arrived at my mom's home, I received a phone call from my husband. He nervously told me, "You are under surveillance by the police. They claim that we have CDs and they may ransack our home." My husband told me that the message was passed on by his friend. I was really shocked and thought instantly: Do not admit it! Completely negate all the arrangements by the old forces! Though I was very nervous, I tried my best to comfort him with a calm tone, "Don't worry about it. We will not have any troubles. We don't have anything illegal at home." After putting down the phone, I reminded myself that I needed to keep a calm and clear mind. I looked out a window and saw that the same man was waiting at the entrance of the community. I immediately notified two practitioners about my situation and asked them to help me by sending righteous thoughts. Then I decided to eliminate the interference myself by holding my hand up and sending forth righteous thoughts. That man stayed there the whole afternoon. I had a thought that I could not allow him to follow me home. (If so, they would come to ransack it.) However, I could not figure out a way to do it. A practitioner called and enlightened me that I could exit the back door and utilize the supernormal ability of invisibility. Suddenly understanding, I went to the window and sent powerful righteous thoughts. "Stay right there!" I then saw a community security guard walk up to the man with a stool and start chatting with him. I sent righteous thoughts to make myself invisible and walked to the back door. A taxi was waiting outside. I clarified the truth to the driver as usual.
I kept sending righteous thoughts after getting home. Suddenly, there was a fierce knocking at the door. I assumed that a bunch of police must be outside my door. Though my heart was beating hard, I sent a powerful thought that I absolutely would not cooperate with the authorities. The knocking got louder and louder, but I was not moved and firmly sent righteous thoughts. Because my heart was beating so hard, my hand in the upright position shook slightly. However, I kept a clear mind and remembered Teacher's Fa, "No matter who persecutes Dafa, it's a matter of humans battling Gods, and the end result is obvious."("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference") I sent powerful righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil behind those at the door and I was truly a god! When I held this thought I felt extremely huge and indestructible. Then the knocking stopped. In the evening, my mother-in-law called me and told me that she had come to my home in the afternoon. She said she had knocked at my door for long time but nobody answered. My mother-in-law never knocks at my door that loudly and seldom visits my home. I was enlightened that it was the evil that wanted to frighten me and then take advantage of me. I reminded myself that I should keep righteous thoughts all the time. I did not realize that the occurrence was an illusion caused by my attachment of fear.
My husband looked anxious after returning home. He complained that the community security guard did not inform us, though he knew that there were plainclothes police waiting for us. The community where I live is small, but the homes are above average. The community security guards are very polite to the residents. I comforted him, "We need to be considerate of them. Anyway, many people dare not get involved in such matters." At the same time, I clearly told the evil in my mind that I did not expect ordinary people to help me. Teacher has arranged my cultivation and I only follow what Teacher arranges.
On a rainy day two days later, when I was studying the Fa at home, somebody knocked at my door. I asked who it was and the local policeman answered. I immediately sent a thought at the door and sent grand faluns (law wheels) to eliminate all the evil behind him! As a result, when I opened the door, he looked a little nervous. He really looked scared. He simply checked my residency registration record, chatted with me a little, and then left. One righteous thought subdued all the evil.
October 1st was approaching and the interference never stopped. They continued to monitor and follow me. Sometimes they passed messages indicating that they knew everything about me, for example, where my sister's and my mother's homes were, how many family members I have, on which days I met with other practitioners, etc. Therefore, I felt great psychological pressure. In the evening, my husband returned, telling me that he had to go out of town for business around October 1, but he was very worried about our family. My mind was moved and I thought that I needed him to stay with me so that I would have someone to talk to should anything unexpected happen. I felt very uncomfortable being at home alone with my child. Suddenly I realized that nothing would accidentally happen. He seldom went out of town on business but needed to for several days at this crucial time. Meanwhile, I was moved by it, which exposed my attachment of dependency on my husband and showed I was not on the Fa. I quickly corrected myself that I would not rely on anybody. Teacher arranged my way of cultivation and nobody could move me. Therefore, I replied, "You can go if you need to. We will not have any trouble here."
On the morning of October 1, when my child was sleeping and I was listening to the Fa, there was a loud knocking at the door. I thought that the police had come to ransack my home, so I packed up my tapes and woke my child, "Please get up. The police are coming!" At that moment, I made a decision to open the door and confront any danger. I could subdue any evil by a righteous thought! I walked to the door and asked, "Who is it?!" "It is me," my mother-in-law answered. I opened the door and my mother-in-law stood outside with Chinese donuts in hand. "I bought breakfast for you and my grandchild." She never buys breakfast for us and now she had come by herself. After sending her out, I did not have any complaints at all. I clearly knew that the evil took advantage of my attachment of fear to "test" and interfere with me with this illusion. After being enlightened, I immediately sent a thought that I would not allow the evil to manipulate my mother-in-law to interfere with me and I was not afraid any more!
It seems the reasons that I had such huge tribulations were as follows. Practitioner A, who was close to me, was arrested while clarifying truth, and her arrest was directly related to her husband. She did not pay attention to the cultivation of her speech and thus her husband knew about me, which resulted in my being interfered with. Apparently, the ultimate reason was that I had a loophole in my cultivation. At that time, I did not communicate well with practitioner A. Practitioner A was responsible for preparing truth-clarifying materials and two other practitioners and I were in charge of buying raw materials and distributing truth-clarifying materials. We had been very diligent. We studied two or three Fa lectures every day. Besides the four specific times for sending righteous thoughts, we tried our best to send righteous thoughts every hour. We insisted on clarifying the truth by all means and shared and communicated with each other on the Fa. However, gradually our cooperation broke down. It felt like we could not open our minds to each other at every meeting and the gap became bigger and bigger. One time, a practitioner and I went to buy blank CDs and there were a lot of police and patrol cars around the store. We bought the blank CDs as usual. When we brought the CDs to practitioner A and mentioned the situation, she did not say anything, but her expression showed that she thought we had exaggerated the situation. I felt uncomfortable after returning home. I checked inward and felt that I had not cultivated my speech well. I thought the ultimate reason was that I liked to show off my strong righteous thoughts.
Another time when it was raining I needed to buy some blank CDs. Practitioner A was living on the top floor of a tall building. I brought a few hundred CDs in my arms to her home. I was damp with rain and sweat when I arrived. When I entered her home, she told me that practitioner B cultivated very well because she and her husband drove out to buy blank CDs even when it was raining. My reaction was that I felt very slighted because I had gone to buy blank CDs in the rain, and practitioner B and her husband were two people doing the same job and they could drive a car. After getting home, I felt more and more mistreated and had strong complaints. When I checked inward, I saw that I did not have benevolent generosity and took too seriously others' opinions. Because I did not check inward unconditionally and even more deeply, I still felt that Practitioner A was not benevolent enough, so I did not get along very well with practitioner A. It got even worse. When meeting practitioner A, I dared not speak too much and feared more conflicts by talking more. The relationship between us became purely a business of preparing and distributing materials, not the normal relationship of practitioners. Though I understood that this was not a right state of affairs and felt anxious about it, I still did not check inward unconditionally and more deeply, which resulted in the evil taking advantage of my loopholes.
This time I decided to check inward unconditionally. This was very difficult for me because I had not done so before. I tried my best but still checked others when checking myself. Practitioners close to me frequently reminded me that I needed to check myself not others.
Since I decided to truly cultivate myself, Teacher could help me. I eventually met another practitioner, who gave me the most recent edition of "Minghui Weekly." On opening it, I saw a citation of Teacher's Fa, "A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself."("Realms" from Essentials for Further Advancement) I suddenly realized that my feeling of imbalance and unfairness came from jealousy! It was just my jealousy causing practitioner A to treat me in that way. As I further read the Fa, the practitioner mentioned that fear came from selfishness. I realized that though I could face the persecution with righteous thoughts, my anxiety and fear always appeared. I was worried about being persecuted, and if my family would be implicated, etc. Was this not the manifestation of selfishness? Furthermore, I read an article about the mind doing things. I asked myself why, if I had had such a big conflict with practitioner A for about half a year, I hadn't checked inward better. I was truly worried about it taking too much time to check inward, which might affect my helping with the Fa-rectification. However, as a practitioner, if we do not cultivate ourselves, what is the difference between our actions and ordinary people's actions, no matter how much more we do! Thus, with Teacher's benevolent hints I found my attachments of doing things, competition and emphasizing myself, etc. I felt so relieved after finding my attachments and decided to remove them. Then I found the waiting police were gone and nobody followed me again. It was truly, "Remove your human thoughts and evil will naturally die out."("Hong Yin II," translation version A)
From then on I have diligently studied the Fa and intensively sent righteous thoughts. I have become part of the one body with practitioners. We not only intensively send righteous thoughts but also do it for 24 hours every few days. We grasp every opportunity to clarify the truth. Since we might be followed, fear and anxiety always showed up when we wanted to clarify the truth. We experienced serious psychological fights, but righteous thoughts always won. I firmly decided that I would only follow the way Teacher arranged for me and would not worry about anything else. Saving one sentient being meant saving a universe, and I only needed to try my best to save as many as possible. Since my thoughts were on the Fa, Teacher could support me and strengthen my energy. After I clarified the truth, the awakened sentient being would be moved and express to me his/her appreciation. I knew that this represented Teacher's encouragement. However, the process of truth clarification was really difficult. Sometimes, I felt that my righteous thoughts were not strong enough and a lot of pressure was put on me. I also felt the evil factors manifesting from other dimensions. My celestial eye was not open, but I could still see a lot of small sparks (the black hands) in large swarms surrounding me. Sometimes, I felt it was too hard and my mind felt so tired. Then I reminded myself that I needed the resolve of giving up everything, like a monk. I needed to firmly believe in the Fa and insist on what I should do.
When my anxiety, fear, and sentiments appeared, I got mentally lost. The more I got lost, the more narrow-minded I became. Then I repeated in my mind:
"Get rid of any attachment you have, and don't think about anything. Just do everything a Dafa disciple should do."("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference in 2001")
"In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human"("In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human")
I firmly resisted the wrong thoughts with righteous thoughts and further strengthened my righteous thoughts.
In this way, with Teacher's benevolent protection and support and with practitioners' help, the fierce persecution was dissolved. From this tribulation, I truly enlightened that the more we are in tribulations, the more righteous thoughts are needed. If we are definitely on the Fa and hold righteous thoughts (divine thoughts) at every crucial moment, the old forces' arrangements will be negated and we will be on the path arranged by Teacher. At the same time, we should firmly believe in Teacher and the Fa. Surely, the ability to be firm comes from diligent daily Fa-study. It is truly as Teacher says:
"If you are a true practitioner, our Falun will safeguard you. I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe."(Zhuan Falun)
In retrospect, on every step of my cultivation I see Teacher's unbelievable endurance and rewards! Though we might not be able to show our appreciation for the immeasurable grace we have received, I still would like to say, "Thank you, Teacher!"
