(Clearwisdom.net)
“You will be made to abandon all those attachments that cannot be given up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice. ” (Zhuan Falun)
Just as Teacher has stated above, I have experienced many frustrations during my practice, but Teacher was always beside me. With Teacher’s compassionate protection and instruction, I have continued walking on the path of cultivation. The following are some of my experiences about how to eliminate jealousy and the attachment to sleep and fear.
1) Removing Jealousy
I was previously very egotistical and thought myself always in the right. I pursued absolute egalitarianism in everything I did, even when it came to housework. If my husband was resting while I was doing housework, I would feel that this was quite unfair. I always emphasized to him that the housework should be shared equally between us.
Due to these incorrect notions, I became pretentious and prideful, which made my husband unwilling to stay at home to face me. And worst of all, he fell into a gambling habit. He spent all of his money on gambling, without any regard for our family. I was aware that all these things were happening because of some attachments I had. However, I didn’t know what the exact attachment was and just considered it the attachment to money or personal gain. I simply took it as a test of my ability to let go of the attachments to benefit, sentimentality and hate. Sometimes I felt so much pain and fatigue that I recited Teacher’s article, “True Cultivation,” again and again.
“My truly cultivating disciples, what I have taught you is the Fa for cultivation of Buddha and Dao. Nonetheless, you pour out your grievances to me over the loss of your worldly interests, rather than feeling upset for being unable to let go of ordinary human attachments.”(“True Cultivation”)
This state continued for years until one night when a thief broke into my house and stole my money box. I cried in my heart, “Teacher, what attachments do I have? Why should I suffer so much? Please give me a hint!” Then I read an article about jealousy in “Minghui Weekly,” which prompted me to finally become aware that all that had happened was because of my attachments of jealousy, the mentality of showing off and a competitive mentality.
After realizing that the attachment of jealousy had caused me to suffer, no matter what I encounter, I always evaluate everything with the Fa. If jealousy or selfishness emerges, I completely negate it and absolutely don’t allow it to exist.
2) Eliminating Human Sentimentality Between Fellow Practitioners
Some practitioners can easily develop sentimentality toward one another. Teacher left us this form of practice to study the Fa and exchange cultivation experiences together. However, during relationships with fellow practitioners, I gradually and unconsciously developed human sentimentality toward them. This kind of sentimentality arose prior to July 20, 1999, when the persecution began. At that time, fellow practitioners were able to study the Fa together every day and share everything with each other. Nevertheless, I didn’t quite understand how to cultivate my inner self and often looked for external help. I often imitated other fellow practitioners in my cultivation practice instead of acting according to the requirements of the Fa. After July 20, 1999, I continued with this cultivation state and unknowingly deviated from Dafa. As a result, I was illegally detained in a brainwashing center and this left dark stains on my cultivation practice. Later, Teacher’s article “Path” was published, and every sentence seemed to point out my problem. I felt so regretful that I swore to take the Fa as the Teacher and rid myself of the interference of sentimentality between fellow practitioners.
3) Conquering the Sleep Demon
Teacher’s poem, “Rational and Awake” (Hong Yin Volume II, Translation Version A), enhanced my confidence to conquer fatigue and the attachment to sleep. Sleep itself is not an evil demon. However, if humanly fostered, it can make you always feel sleepy and lacking in energy to do anything. The attachment to sleep interfered with my study of the Fa, practicing the exercises and especially sending righteous thoughts. Whenever the sleepy feeling occurred, I sent righteous thoughts to disintegrate it, calmed my mind to study the Fa, or read the Fa aloud. At other times, I often recited the Fa in my mind and looked into myself to find my attachments. In my heart I asked Teacher for help in strengthening myself to conquer the sleep demon. I vowed that I absolutely would not allow the sleep demon to interfere with me in any way.
Teacher told us that practicing the exercises is much better than sleeping as a way of rest. Therefore, I began to do the exercises every morning and found myself full of energy for the whole day. If I slept later in the morning and did not do the exercises, I felt dizzy all day, and I discovered that I had to spend several more days trying to readjust my state so as to conquer the sleep demon.
So, all fellow practitioners who are still interfered with by the sleep demon - cheer up! Believe what Teacher has told us. Follow Teacher’s instructions and you will find that Teacher has bestowed upon us all the best things!
4) Eliminating the Attachment to Fear
I once had the unrighteous thoughts of being afraid that my “truth clarifying” activities would become known to others. When I went out to distribute truth clarification materials in the evening, I was especially worried about being arrested and detained. The attachments of fear prevented me from clarifying the truth. Once a fellow practitioner came to me with some truth clarifying flyers and stickers. He said to me, “Let’s go pass out the truth clarification materials everywhere.” I dared not go due to fear and thus found many excuses to refuse. Later, when the flyers were distributed in my neighborhood, I was afraid that others would conclude that the flyers were sent by me. I completely forgot that clarifying the truth is for the sake of saving sentient beings, and the old forces dare not interfere. My mind was only thinking of how to protect myself.
A few days later, the police came to search my house and said they suspected me. My first thought was to ask Teacher to strengthen my righteous thoughts and disintegrate the evil beings. I looked inside myself and understood that all the trouble was caused by my attachment to fear. I immediately let go of life and death to clarify the truth and send righteous thoughts. This change in my thoughts, along with fellow practitioners’ efforts and cooperation, resulted in those policemen leaving and nothing happening to me. Following this experience, I still felt scared until I gradually conquered the attachment by continuously studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts. Compassionate Teacher also gave me hints by telling me I was doing things with a human heart during a dream. At that time, I began always sending righteous thoughts to purge any bad thoughts and fear before distributing the “Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party” or other truth clarification materials. With Teacher’s help I strengthened my divine side and raised my level of understanding on this issue.
I thank Teacher for compassionately saving me. My gratitude for Teacher’s attention and care is beyond words. I will try to correct every thought and notion, to let go of selfishness and to do the “three things” well as I cultivate to become a qualified Dafa practitioner.
