(Clearwisdom.net) My respects to Master! And to every fellow practitioner!
I am a Falun Dafa disciple. I came to Australia at the end of last year and have encountered many tribulations and hardships in my cultivation. My attachments that needed to be given up caused me enormous pain and tribulations. The things I did not encounter in Mainland China but have run into in Australia have resulted in the emergence of much humanness that I still need to discard. Thanks to Master's compassion I have this cultivation environment to pull out these deep-rooted, hidden attachments so that I might eradicate them and ascend in cultivation.
I began Fa study in 1996 and can thus be called a veteran disciple. When I first attained the Fa I was diligent in cultivation practice. I was the only person who practiced Dafa at my workplace, and I held a wish for everyone to learn Falun Gong. I am an experienced swimming coach and saw hundreds of students and parents coming and going at the swimming pool. I was the only outlet I knew of for people to get to know Dafa. Many people knew me. People around me sensed the sanctity, beauty and wonders of Dafa from my physical changes and the changes in my character and demeanour. I held onto a Dafa disciple's standards in everything I did. I realized that if I failed to handle things well I would negatively impact Dafa's reputation.
Since July 20, 1999, practitioners have been ruthlessly persecuted by the evildoing Party's fiendish campaigns. Agents from the 610 Office arrested me three times. I was twice incarcerated in a detention centre and once in a municipal brainwashing center. Every time I was tortured I thought that I was not very clearly aware of defending Dafa and validating Dafa, so I pushed myself to do well based on my steadfast belief in Dafa. With this thought, I felt Master's enormous hand holding my hand to forge ahead in my hardships. The 610 Office personnel collaborated with my work place to arrest and detain me the first time, in a dark, filthy cell with arsonists, drug dealers and prostitutes. I felt depressed from the outset. Master used a policewoman to put me in a state of awareness and realization. Facing the first interrogation by the police I had no idea how to reply and pleaded in my heart for Master's help to give me wisdom. Soon I knew how to reply to them. Master leads disciples to break through tribulation after tribulation. Though stumbling along the path I sometimes did well and failed to do well at other times. Eventually I prevailed through all my ordeals. My gratitude to my compassionate Master for watching over his disciples!
My circumstances changed entirely after I arrived in Australia. In this peaceful, comfortable environment, free of persecution by those evil police, without being followed, I can go anywhere and join any Dafa activities that I choose. In this comfortable environment, however, the difficulties in my cultivation practice have increased. Those deep-rooted, hidden, human attachments all surfaced when I meet with those things I had not encountered in China. Amid all the benefits and emotions, I was in agony and pain when I eliminated those attachments.
For [most] Dafa disciples from China, when they first arrive in Australia, the very first problem is the financial issue. In China, most disciples in good employment positions were well paid. Now, in Australia, they do not have any financial resources. Their money is converted at a rate of six yuan to one Australian dollar. They lead frugal lives, drink tap water, buy the cheapest groceries, cut their own hair. But, they actively participate in all Dafa activities, trying their utmost to do the three things. I did not do well with the attachment to money and personal benefits.
After I joined the Divine Land Marching Band, everyone was required to wear a black belt. Someone from the Mainland was about to come over so I asked them to buy me one. A parade was coming up and I needed it, but I would not be able to get it right away. I just didn't want to spend money to buy one.
One day as I was walking down the street I saw two belts lying on the roadside; one black and one brown. I picked up the black one. Back home I discovered that the one I had brought home was the brown one. I still did not realize what was happening, thinking, "I picked the black one so how did it turn out to be the brown one?" Soon after, I experienced severe physical karma elimination tribulations. My back ached in spasms. It hurt so much while I was walking that I had to limit my steps; my body stiffened. When I was doing the first exercise I could not stretch. It ached while I was asleep. It did not get better when I sent forth righteous thoughts. Where on Earth was the problem? I started to look inward and found the problem had to do with picking up the belt on the street.
Master says:
"... When the band was playing, the energy they emitted was tremendous. Be it the energy emitted, the sounds you made, or the music and notes themselves, they all had the effect of validating the Fa and sending out energy." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Regarding the sacred name "Divine Land Marching Band" -- the clothes and the things that Dafa disciples wear are also all very sacred, golden bright and full of energy, but I picked up a belt off the street for such a sacred band. This is absolutely not the mentality a Dafa disciple should have.
After I discovered the attachment, my back pain disappeared right away. This stumbling jolted me into awakening. I realized that every movement, every fraction of my thoughts must be in line with the sacred title, "Divine Land Marching Band." By regarding every band activity with seriousness, the stronger the righteous thoughts, the greater the energy Dafa disciples can emit. It is the responsibility of Dafa disciples to rescue sentient beings and to be responsible for Dafa and for ourselves. In the meantime I hope that other band member practitioners might draw lessons from my false steps and truly make the Sydney Divine Land Marching Band the best ensemble to offer sentient beings salvation.
Besides the money issue, there were others. The language barrier created many hurdles for me in every aspect of my life. Moreover, I was in a country far away from my hometown, from relatives, friends, students, colleagues and living with just my daughter. I was told one day that I would have to face life and the difficulties on my own, as my daughter was getting married. That loneliness, isolation and anxiety threw me into a state of helplessness, sinking deeply into emotional turmoil. The more I was attached to it, the tighter and stronger it gripped me. My mind told me that such thinking was qing -- human emotions at play. But, there was a kind of force not letting me escape from these emotions. When the environment was quiet, all kinds of human emotions kept emerging. I was in extreme agony until one day I found that my gong and my body were diminishing. I woke up frightened. Many practitioners then reached out to me, generously helping me ascend in the "Fa". I fell into deep thought. Why was it that during a time I had faced a tribulation of life and death I had succeeded, yet I was drowning in demonic emotions without rational thinking? The main reason was that I had slacked off.
Under the severe environment in China, particularly in the atrocious brainwashing center, besieged daily by the evil, either being forced to watch TV programs vilifying Dafa or listening to broadcasts and forums, I was in line with the Fa every second, so as not to let the evil and the brainwashing suppress me. While watching a Dafa-slandering TV program my mind was reciting Dafa and studying Dafa. Before going to sleep, I had to recite some parts of Lunyu, because in any moment of reduced vigilence, the evil might have taken advantage of the gap and my cultivation might have been ruined.
In this new environment of democracy and freedom I slacked off and failed to be strict with myself, reciting less Fa, without worrying about my drop in levels or my deviation. In fact, Dafa disciples' thoughts are not that simple�"they have very complex elements behind them. The old forces have made their arrangements to take advantage of any single thought of a Dafa disciple. Those, including the elements of the old universe and those lives that are not rectified all, want to manipulate our thoughts. Only when I can truly align myself with the Fa can I control myself and eliminate those unrighteous thoughts.
Master's lecture touched my heart during my Fa study. Master says,
"Cultivation practice must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human sentimentality and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation."
"Of course, you will not be informed of a tribulation or conflict ahead of time. How can you practice cultivation if you are told everything? It will not serve any use. They usually occur unexpectedly so that they can test one's xinxing and make one's xinxing truly improve. Only then can it be seen whether one can maintain one's xinxing. Therefore, when a conflict arises, it does not occur accidentally."
"Mentally overcoming tribulations is the key to truly improving one's level." ("Lecture Four" in Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation version)
Only when I realized this and raised my level based on Fa principles could I immediately get rid of qing. My body recovered and I felt relieved�"another step closer to perfection in the cultivation practice toward godhood. Losing this environment, I would miss my opportunity to ascend. I realized even more why I had come to Australia, and the prudent arrangements Master has made for disciples to ascend.
The number of people that have quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is still hovering between 20,000 to 30,000 daily, which is far from Master's requirement. How to promote the "three withdrawals" [urging people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations, the Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers] in my own surroundings has become my focus. I started to phone acquaintances in China, promoting the three withdrawals. In addition, when I was working at a gift company, I tried to persuade people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Sometimes people just did not want to quit. I also patiently clarified the truth to them.
During the public holidays when there aren't any forthcoming big activities, I go to the tourist spots in Chinatown to distribute the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and ask people to quit the CCP. Once I had arranged with two other practitioners to meet them at the train station to clarify the truth and promote quitting the CCP. They had other commitments and could not go and also asked me not to go. There was no train that day. I decided to go on my own by bus. Cultivation practice has no role models; it all depends on you, how to handle different situations based on your understanding of the Fa. I overcame my notion of relying on others and exercised my independence.
In my experiences of almost one year of cultivation practice since my arrival in Australia, I have met with numerous hardships and xinxing tribulations. In studying the Fa, I have had insights into many things. Soon after I overcome one hardship with much effort, another one arrives. Meanwhile, I feel the accelerated pace of Fa-rectification and Master's picked-up pace leading disciples to ascend. Whatever human emotions a disciple has, Master can see it all. When I ascend to the next level and am about to slack off, another tribulation comes up. All those unrelinquished emotions have to be removed as quickly as possible. When I pass a tribulation and ascend to a new level I am always filled with gratitude. Thank you, Master. Thank you for your arrangements!
This article has been a tearful effort. In the future, I must cultivate well to cause Master less worry.
This is my first time to participate in a large-scale Fa conference. This is also the first time I have shared my cultivation experiences. If anything appears inappropriate, please correct me. I would like to share with fellow practitioners Master's words from "The Ukraine Fa Conference,"
"Although in your cultivation it is painful to get rid of your human attachments, this path is a sacred one."
Thank you, Master! Thank you, everyone!
Category: Improving Oneself
