(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greeting, Fellow Practitioners!
I would like to share my experiences about how I denied the old forces' persecution and surmounted all kinds of ordeals in the last year.
Two years ago, fellow practitioners and I tapped into a local cable television connection and aired a video that explained the truth about Falun Gong. Some of these practitioners were arrested and sentenced. Police officers ran after me for hours, but I escaped with Master's protection. They didn't give up. In the following days, I ran into danger again and again. Twenty days later, with other practitioners' help, I finally reached a safe place.
I read the Fa calmly and looked inward for reasons why we were persecuted for this wire tapping incident. I thought the reason for it was that we participants had our own shortcomings, and we practitioners, as a whole, condoned the persecution of fellow practitioners who had tapped into the cable TV system. I pointed out to the other practitioners that we had the notion that we would be persecuted for tapping into the cable TV system in our effort to explain the truth to the people of China. But I never thought I had that notion. Since I had escaped and was safe, I believed even more that I didn't have that notion.
Although I had escaped, it seemed I often had abnormal physical conditions. I sensed something invisible pressing on my back. I often sent righteous thoughts to eliminate it, but I could not completely overcome the interference.
One day I suddenly had a great pain in my right hand. It was so painful that I could not lift my arm. I knew it was persecution from evil factors in other dimensions. I denied it and read the Fa as usual. When it was the time to send righteous thoughts, I still could not lift my right arm. I told myself that I was fine and that there was no problem with my arm. I tried again and again and finally I lifted up my arm. I sent righteous thoughts every hour and read the Fa all night. My arm was fine the next day. However, I continued to have physical symptoms every now and then. There were frequent environmental interferences where I lived, so that I had to move often. I recognized these as interferences and often sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them. Interferences continued to happen.
I realized my shallow cultivation status, thinking the reason might be that I was alone and I didn't have a solid cultivation environment. I contacted a few other practitioners, but since I considered my situation to be special--because I had tapped into cable TV to explain the truth--my heart/mind was still closed to others. Other practitioners pointed it that I saw myself as a special case. I argued with them, saying that my situation was special.
Later on, I looked inward and realized that my notion was wrong. Why couldn't I clarify the truth in a dignified way as I did before? Why did I always limit myself and over-emphasize safety? I always thought I was facing a tribulation bigger than ever. I had experienced tribulations before and never took them so seriously. Why was it different this time? Was it because I had tapped into a cable TV system? Was it because I was still wanted and the authorities were still looking for me? Of course I should pay attention to safety, but I should not limit myself and close my heart/mind. I should not acknowledge the evil's arrangements and acknowledge their persecution.
Master told us,
"If every Dafa disciple can think and act righteously as he goes about things and can look at things with righteous thoughts under any circumstance, none of you will become afraid when facing persecution. If that is how you are, who would dare to persecute you! If a person is completely in the Fa no one can touch him. Isn't that having the ability to protect yourself? As a matter of fact, with regard to the veteran students [that started] prior to the persecution, I raised all of you to your positions. As long as you can go about things with righteous thoughts and righteous actions you can protect yourselves perfectly well, and that applies as well for new students that joined later." ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco," 2005)
I asked myself, "How can I offer sentient beings salvation if I cannot protect myself. Why can I not step out? Why should I accept the old forces' arrangements? What is my problem? Have I let go of everything?" I told myself that I should look inward and search for the reasons I viewed myself as special.
One reason was that I regarded tapping into the cable TV system as a special form of truth clarification. Behind this notion was that I acknowledged that I was persecuted. I had righteous thoughts when we were doing the TV broadcast, but later on, all kinds of thoughts emerged: "Many practitioners have been persecuted because of it; the TV incident shocked the evil; it is what evildoers are afraid of the most; the head authorities are personally involved; they are looking for me everywhere; I was wanted and they would not let me go." Many practitioners had similar thoughts. Thinking like that, and the fact that many practitioners had been persecuted for tapping into the cable TV system, confused me. That kind of thinking was one of the reasons I acknowledged the persecution.
But why was I fearful after doing the TV broadcast? Why didn't I have strong belief in Master and the Fa, and why did these illusory thoughts confuse me? Master had commented that tapping into cable TV systems to clarify the truth "is a magnificent act of mercy." ("Look at Things with Righteous Thoughts") Why couldn't I change my thinking? All I had in my mind was that 5,000 practitioners in Changchun were arrested for this incident, and many practitioners in other cities were persecuted because of it. My ego, developed under the Chinese Communist Party culture, only focused on my own loss and safety. My notions validated the evildoers' strategy of "warning others by punishing this one." I should have been thinking about how many people had learned the truth as a result of what we had done, that many evil factors in other dimensions had been annihilated, that tapping into TV had a great impact on the international community, and that it was all the result of the mighty power of Dafa. We should have strong righteous thoughts despite the pressure, because our responsibility is to offer salvation to people. Nobody should interfere with it, and nobody can use it as an excuse to persecute us. The arrests of other practitioners should not move us. We should deny all the arrangements by the evil. We should do well what we should do and strengthen fellow practitioners with our righteous thoughts and eliminate the evil factors in other dimensions that persecute practitioners. If we practitioners as a whole can do this, the evil will not dare to persecute us. Master said,
"Cultivation is hard. It's hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation." ("Path" in Essential for Further Advancement II)
Another reason for my inability to step out and continue clarifying the truth was that my ego and selfishness caused me to consider myself to be special. I thought that, since I had achieved such a great thing, I should relax a little and didn't have to be so busy. I thought that I had suffered from so many tribulations since July 20, 1999, and had done so much, so I should do something at home, such as reading the Fa. Those thoughts were subtle. It was hard to notice that I wanted to slack off. I gave in to those odd thoughts, and the evil took advantage of my loopholes.
I forgot that "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." ( Lecture One, "Zhuan Falun," 2000 translation version)
I forgot that my achievements arose from the mighty power of the Fa, not from myself. We cannot do things well if we develop a prominent ego. Sometimes, to show off, I unconsciously exaggerated what the evildoers' had done when I shared my experiences on how to break through the persecution. I didn't realize that I was subconsciously accepting the old forces' arrangements and persecution when I tried to validate myself.
After enlightening to these things, I broke through the closed circle I had made for myself. But I still had some unrighteous thoughts. I still had notions that I was being followed and watched and would be persecuted. I was awakened by knocking on the door at 1:00 a.m. one morning. I looked out the window and saw a car and several people knocking on the gate of the apartment building. This noise had woken up my neighbors as well. I was nervous and thought that they were coming for me. I quickly realized that this was an unrighteous thought. I then sent forth righteous thoughts, calmed down, and eliminated the evil.
After a while, I went out to take a look and saw that those people had gone. Nothing had happened. I returned to my room and thought about the incidents that had happened during the previous year. Why was I not able to get rid of my fear after I escaped? Why did I always have this notion of being persecuted? The evil wants me to be afraid and to have this fear forever so that it can interfere with me. It was not Master's arrangement. I told myself that I should not be like that anymore. I am a Dafa disciple during the Fa-rectification period. I must walk my path no matter how hard it is. I should not limit myself anymore. I need to go out and not stay at home. No human notion can be taken to heaven. I have an important responsibility, and therefore I must do what a Dafa disciple should do.
Then what was the root of my problem? Master said in "Expounding on the Fa":
"For a long period of time the sentient beings in Dafa, especially the disciples, have had a misunderstanding of the Fa at various levels regarding xinxing improvement. Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations." (Essentials for Further Advancement)
I know that all the tribulations I encountered were due to my notions, and that it depends on my heart whether I can overcome them. If I treat them from the perspective of a divine being, they will be small. If I treat them with my human notions, then they will be huge. My righteous thoughts arise from the Fa, as well as from solid belief in the Fa and Master. Master told us "your mind must be right" and "your main consciousness should predominate." My heart should not be moved by those illusions and I should prevail.
Master said:
"What's important for cultivators is righteous thoughts. When you have strong righteous thoughts, you are able to withstand anything and do anything. That's because you are a cultivator: someone who is on a divine path and who is not controlled by the factors of ordinary people or low-level principles." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
I read the Fa and recited it again and again. But did I truly, solidly trust in the Fa? Have I followed the principles? I found that my belief in Master and the Fa was not 100 percent solid. It was not because I didn't read the Fa well--I have memorized Zhuan Falun. It was because I didn't cultivate solidly. I should get rid of my human notions, which were trapping me in these tribulations.
Master said:
"This is because true cultivation practice must follow the requirements of the xinxing standard that we have established, and you have to truly upgrade your xinxing--then, it is true cultivation practice." (Lecture Three in Zhuan Falun)
I should truly upgrade my xinxing. I should not try to break through my tribulations with the old principles I had enlightened to before. After realizing this, I no longer focused on quantity when reading the Fa. I remained calm and read with a pure heart. When memorizing, I try to assimilate my whole life into the Fa, treat myself as a particle of, and melt into the Fa. When encountering problems, I look inward based on the Fa. Remaining calm and having a pure heart helps me to break through tribulations and opens closed the circle. I now have a better understanding of what cultivation is. Memorizing the Fa also helps me to enlighten at different levels. I sense that I raise my level very fast. Sometimes, I feel myself breaking through different levels in one day. As long as we study the Fa calmly, assimilate to the Fa, and solidly cultivate our hearts, then our main conscience will become stronger and our minds will be more clear.
Besides reading the Fa, it is also important to look inward. I neither avoid my bad thoughts, nor do I follow them. I try to expose my selfishness and correct these thoughts based on the Fa, thus eliminating them with righteous thoughts. I grasp the bad thoughts as soon as they appear and look inward for the deeply rooted reasons. I cultivate myself with a clear mind so that I can see through the evil's arrangements. When running into tests or tribulations, I act as a Dafa disciple and think about what Master wants me to do. It is very important to remember that "I am a Dafa disciple." When we maintain righteous thoughts, righteous powers and Master will help us. When I don't do well, I look inward, make corrections, and do better next time.
One time, police officers tapped into my roommate's cellphone. He is also a practitioner. He asked me if we should move, because the police could find out where we lived from the cellphone number. I told him not to let it upset him. But I was a little bit nervous in my heart, so I agreed to move. Practitioners often did that when their cellphones were tapped, so I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. But we were not able to find an apartment. I looked inward for the reason. Although I was not upset by the incident, I still had followed the old principles--moving to a new apartment. I did not feel safe any longer and wanted to move. Actually, I should not cultivate based on old experiences. I should improve my level and look at things from the perspective of the new principles. My old experiences thus became new obstacles. I looked inward and noticed that I was worried that these police officers would be able to locate us. Wasn't this accepting the evil's persecution?
Through looking inward, I realized that by feeling unsafe, I was accepting the evil's arrangement and following it. I didn't use a cultivator's righteous thoughts. I forgot that everything in this human society exists for the Fa, and Master is watching us.
Many fellow practitioners have shared their experiences on the Internet on how to break through the evil's arrangements. They didn't use human methods, but righteous thoughts. My roommate and I shared our understandings. We sent forth righteous thoughts and felt that we were protected by a strong power and felt that nobody could hurt us. We didn't move and were safe. I enlightened to the fact that by paying attention to safety, it is based on solid belief in the Fa and Master. It is that we meet the standard that the Fa requires of us. It is a natural process without human notions. Each practitioner is at a different level. But no matter which level, we need to follow the Fa principles at that level and get rid of human notions. We should never follow the evil. Actually, the evil is weak and cannot damage Dafa or persecute practitioners.
With Dafa, I was able to break away from my illusion and not treat myself as someone special anymore. I went back to my normal cultivation environment. Once my heart was open, my environment was better. I now do the three things, have joined a Fa-study group, and help with other projects. Although, I sometimes do editing work at home, I am not afraid to go out. I clarify the facts of the persecution while riding in taxis and at the farmers' market. Although I returned to my normal cultivation state, I have wasted some time; therefore, I will do my best to catch up.
November 1, 2007
