(Clearwisdom.net) Approximately one year following July 20th, 1999 (the official start of the persecution of Falun Gong) the persecution peaked. Police from local precincts, neighborhood administrators and people from my workplace kept harassing me due to my trip to Beijing to appeal for Dafa. They severely disturbed my daily life. They either demanded I write statements or compelled me to speak my opinions. The last time they told me to attend some so-called party with the intention of having me slander Master and the Fa, otherwise I would be sent to "reformation" class. I didn't want to cooperate with them, so I left home. Later on, because I had clarified the truth, I was arrested and detained for three years.
I felt Master was always with me during the more than a thousand days in prison. Sometimes this feeling originated from hints in my dreams, to encourage me. When I experienced tribulations, Master was protecting me. When I did well, Master showed me a lotus or some small ships that would carry me, moving speedily forward.
When I did not do so well Master used other people's mouths to criticize me. One thing I remember so clearly is the night before my trial session - Master hinted to me in my dream. There was a soft ladder in the air made of ropes. Unhesitatingly I climbed up to the top. In a room, somebody gave me three heart-shaped paper bags. Inside the bags was a Chinese medicine, which in my hometown is called "love." I realized that Master is asking me to treat everybody with compassion. The next day in the court room, although I was facing more than ten police officers and people from the procuratorate and judicial system, I had no fear. I was serene and friendly. I used my own experiences and what I had witnessed to tell them of the wonders of Dafa. I spoke openly of Master's compassion and the seriousness of cultivation.
I also exposed the staged "Tiananmen Square Self-immolation" incident. One police officer behind me said, "What you say makes sense." What's even more amazing - fortified with Master's powers I asked the chief justice to pick up the copy of Zhuan Falun next to him that he had confiscated from me and read one paragraph in Chapter Seven, "The Issue of Killing." After the session, they all shook hands with me to say goodbye. Before I left, the chief justice said: "Can you please give me the statement of defense you just read?" I said "sure."
Although I lived in that environment for three years, as a matter of fact, it didn't feel too long. I just thought: now that I'm here, I'll treat this as a cave or a temple to cultivate here. There are sentient beings here as well. Don't they need to be rescued as well? So, within three years I was transferred to four different detention centers and rescued many predestined people, including some guards. Some of them have withdrawn from the CCP and its associated organizations. (Now that I recall my thought about being in the prison, I realize I was accepting the old forces' arrangements. It was not following the Fa principles.)
When thinking calmly, I found many loopholes, as well as the mentalities of showing off and smugness and some misunderstandings of the Fa. Although Master gave me hints several times, my preoccupation of "doing things" made me assume I had righteous thoughts and was fearless. I remember that Master seemed to have mentioned something like this in one of His lectures (I forget the original words), that if we have too strong of an attachment, it is also a reflection of demon nature. I was proud of my verbal communication skills. When there weren't enough people around [to listen to me], I didn't feel dissatisfied. Sometimes, when there were several dozens of people listening to my speech I was overcome by smugness, and gave in to the mentality of showing off and the habit of complaining about the CCP. I forgot to pay attention to my own safety.
I was totally obsessed and entered into a state that I was unable to extricate myself from. I didn't want to listen to fellow practitioners. Hence the evil latched onto my loopholes and my strong attachment to doing things. It brought irretrievable losses and tribulations to my family and me. I would like to offer some advice for fellow practitioners who are still attached to doing things and don't pay enough attention to safety. Please, remember my lessons. Please, use your reasoning and don't be careless. Being cautious doesn't mean having fear. Not having fear doesn't mean you can run into cars while holding Dafa books [to avoid getting hurt].
When I left that dark den, what was welcoming me was not the happy reunion of a husband and wife. We have even lost the trust between couples and the cultivation environment we used to have to study the Fa together and share experiences with each other. What awaited me were endless arguments...
My husband used to be a Dafa practitioner. When the evil was persecuting me, he was being persecuted as well. But because he had not studied the Fa enough, had strong human notions, and was particularly given to fighting, he ended up leaving Dafa and no longer practiced. He started smoking, drinking, playing Mahjong and going after women. He also spent all the savings we had. When I came back, he showed some remorse. He also felt sorry and ashamed that he did things against Dafa and me. But the several years of living in a terrible environment had changed him. He had a foul temper and was ready to explode at any time. The originally kind, nice and decent husband had disappeared; he no longer existed. What I saw was a rude, evil and totally strange person.
I couldn't understand. I felt life is unfair. I suffered greatly. In the meantime, a woman constantly came to our house to disturb me and said some things I couldn't stand. She also called my husband to threaten him. It was such a mess.
When I returned home I hadn't read Dafa books for several years, especially Master's new lectures. I was unsuccessful in connecting with other practitioners. I was miserable. My xinxing level was low. What I could not understand and was unable to deal with was the direct interference from my husband, who used to be a fellow practitioner I deeply trusted.
How could a former Dafa practitioner change into such a strange person? I eventually developed great hatred toward and resentment of my husband and that woman. With this human notion and attachment to emotions, not only was I unable to look inward without regret and resentment, but I had also completely accepted the old forces' arrangements. Although I was still cultivating, I couldn't find any practitioners to share my experiences with. I didn't have a cultivation environment. For a long time I was so indignant. I suffered so much mentally. In fact, that state was simply a reflection of my not cultivating well enough, not being able to forbear, and not being able to catch up with the advancement of Fa-rectification.
Just when I didn't know what to do, our benevolent Master arranged for me to meet a fellow practitioner. I was finally able to read Master's new lectures. It was as if the crops had finally gotten some water following a long drought. In fact, no words could explain how I felt when I was reading Master's new lectures. I was eagerly reading Master's lectures as well as some editions of "Minghui Weekly." This can be likened to keys opening my rusty locks. I was suddenly made aware of many things.
I knew Master had opened my wisdom and made me understand the Fa principles at my level. I also understood that the old forces had utilized my husband's strong human notions, loopholes and bad thoughts and ideas. They arranged an evil field around his body and formed the evil factors that pulled him down; that is why he had started smoking, drinking and playing Mahjong. The old forces arranged many low-level and corrupt entities to destroy him and made him attached to lust and sexual desires and forget his historic mission. They made him leave Dafa and relax his determination to be diligent. The old forces' intentions were to destroy my husband. In the meantime they took advantage of my fragile xinxing due to just coming out of the labor camp. They wanted to pull me down as well by destroying my family cultivation environment and weakening my will to be diligent. They wanted to reach their goal of making me give up cultivation by using my sentiment toward to my husband.
I read "Clarity Upon Gaining the Way" (Hong Yin II):
"One dynasty's emperor, one dynasty's subjects
Dynasty after dynasty were the karmic bonds tied in anticipation of the Fa
Don't pay heed to the affairs of bygone dynasties
All will be known when you return home at Consummation"
I understood the causal relationship among people and the great mission of a Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period.
Master says in "Touring North America to Teach the Fa:"
"Your cultivation is absolutely not a personal, simple matter of reaching Consummation--your cultivation is saving the countless sentient beings in the cosmic body that corresponds to you and who've put infinite hope in you. The cultivation of you all is saving the sentient beings in every single gigantic cosmic colossal firmament."
"So a Dafa disciple's responsibilities aren't for the sake of personal Consummation, but to save sentient beings while validating the Fa--that is a Dafa disciple's historic mission, and that is why Dafa disciples are truly magnificent."
This requires us to have great compassion and conduct ourselves selflessly, nobly and with altruism. We must place rescuing sentient beings in the foremost position, and walk righteously on our cultivation path.
After I understood these Fa principles, I felt I had overcome a life and death battle that completely changed me. After I studied the Fa, my xinxing ascended. I no longer hated or resented my husband and the woman who kept disturbing me. I started having compassion. I thought I shouldn't push my husband out of the door of Dafa due to my attachments. I had to show my husband tolerance and understanding so he could return to Dafa. I would thus be able to harmonize the family, considering it the main cultivation environment, and walk my cultivation path righteously.
I spoke frankly and sincerely with my husband, telling him it was me who brought trouble and difficulties to the family. "Please forgive me." My husband also said sincerely it should be him to say sorry, and continued, "It was me who became bad and hurt you. I also wasted so much money." I said, "As practitioners we take money, renown and emotions lightly. The money doesn't mean too much. What we have cannot be bought with money. It's no big deal without money. In terms of getting hurt, it is different for us practitioners. I should appreciate that you've given me this opportunity to improve."
I also told him, "In my absence your bad notions made you become muddle-headed and unwise. Demons took advantage of your loopholes. You did what you are not supposed to do. In fact, that was not the true you." I said it calmly and sincerely. My husband was very moved and thanked me for being so tolerant and compassionate. I told him to thank our Master. After this, my husband gradually reverted to his previous demeanor and rid himself of the bad habits. He started doing the three things with me. Although he is not very diligent yet, he has a firm and steady heart now. I believe that he will be able to catch up.
With regard to the woman that kept bothering me - I mentioned to her numerous times that were I not a Dafa practitioner, I wouldn't be so tolerant and would not be without resentment and hatred. Sometimes I would pick a Fa- paragraph and read it to her. Finally, one day I saw her kind side. I grasped this opportunity and said, "I know you suffer misfortune. If you could accept Dafa, the unfortunate things in your life, including your illness, would change." For several months after that she didn't show up any more. One day she came to my home again all of a sudden and talked to me sincerely saying, "I tried to erase you from my memory, but I wasn't able to, because out of all the people I know, including my closest relatives, nobody is as sincere, kind, and tolerant as you. You are a good person."
I replied that all Dafa practitioners are good people. This is what our Master asks us to do. She then told me that she had actually wanted to come two months earlier but lacked the courage to face me. "But I couldn't forget what you told me, which is why I made up my mind to come here to learn Dafa from you."
I was so happy. Another life was shown the path to salvation. She did the three withdrawals (withdrawing from all CCP organizations) right away. This is the power of Dafa. Now she comes to my home every couple of days and we always talk about cultivation. I can see great changes in her. She has become a completely different person. She also told me happily that she started memorizing Zhuan Falun.
After going through these things, I clearly realize the true meaning of "The Master-Disciple Bond" in Hong Yin II:
"There is no affect between master and disciple
The Buddha's grace remolds Heaven and Earth
When disciples have ample righteous thoughts
Master has the power to turn back the tide"
I have no language to explain accurately the pure, noble, benevolent and true feeling of Master toward the disciples. I deeply felt that there is nothing to fear, no matter how severe a tribulation is. But the most horrible thing is if after one leaves Dafa, his/her xinxing doesn't keep up, he/she would eventually develop dirty human notions. One would follow the acquired, distorted human notions to think, and be complacent. But if one realizes this and lets it go, one would feel the immense, immeasurable, boundless feeling:
"The heavens clear,
the cosmic body transparent,
the universe rectified,
With the ultimate catastrophe now past,
lucent is the whole Cosmos." ("After the Catastrophe" in Hong Yin)
It's just one thought that differentiates between humans and gods. It differs in thousands of ways! Far more than thousands of ways...
When one looks back at the karma, tribulations, and one's addictions that made us suffer so much, they were indeed nothing. But cultivation continues! The path ahead of us becomes more and more narrow; our requirements become higher and higher. We can't slack off on any single one of our thoughts. In the meantime, there are so many sentient beings that are still living in the puzzling human world that need us to show them a way to salvation.
Tribulations, interference, persecution, and even tests at different levels for us continue. Properly dealing with these reflects exactly a Dafa practitioner's greatness during the Fa-rectification period. This is the necessary path from human to godhood. In fact, the most important thing for us to work on is to conquer our egos and maintain our steady, righteous thoughts.
At last, I also want to state that there are still many practitioners who haven't stepped forward, who have not clarified the truth. Fellow practitioners: please, don't miss this opportunity that only comes once in tens of thousands of years!
We are already fortunate enough to have encountered Dafa. This is a great blessing! We can't simply want to take from Dafa without giving back anything. No matter how much you give, it's all for yourself, not for Dafa. We must be aware that we can never underestimate what Master gives to every Dafa practitioner. We are only doing the three things Master asks us to do and clarifying the truth, so we can cultivate ourselves, increase our Gong and raise our level. In the meantime, we can rescue the many immensely hopeful sentient beings that correspond to our worlds. If we conduct ourselves along these lines, we will be able to fulfill our pre-historic missions and enrich and harmonize our own worlds.
