(Clearwisdom.net) After cultivating in Dafa, I have continually been subjected to xinxing tests. People who create such tests for me are those with whom I am most intimate.
Due to everyone looking out for their own interests in the workplace, some colleagues often shied away from me. Although I do not hate them, I do not like to talk much with them, either. In addition, the principles of cultivation are opposite to those of ordinary people, so I am not keen on chatting and winning friendships for its own sake. Gradually, my relationship with colleagues became estranged. Although I frequently spread the Fa and clarify the "truth" to them, I primarily send truth clarifying materials by email.
I realized that I have a sealed heart, and as a result, others avoid me. Some of my colleagues are my fellow practitioners, so I do not feel lonely. But I think it is not proper to be indifferent to ordinary colleagues. Many people with predestined relationships may fail to obtain the Fa due to my indifference. If I can open up my mind and establish good interpersonal relationships with ordinary people, that would be a blessing for others and for me.
I also found that I fear trouble and do not like to communicate with ordinary people. The thinking of a cultivator and an ordinary person is so different. I have to yield to their attachments when chatting with them, and I perceive that as a bother. Sometimes, during the holidays, relatives and friends will drop in, which I really dread. Except for clarifying the truth, I really do not want to discuss ordinary issues with them.
I think the above situation results from my recent cultivation state. I also believe that Dafa is harmonizing and I should not have this barrier with ordinary people. I should not evade the opportunity of communicating with them since Dafa practitioners must cultivate among ordinary people. Moreover, isn't interacting with ordinary people in fact a good chance to clarifying the facts about Dafa? From now on I will adjust my attitude. I certainly can enlarge the capacity of my heart.
December 29, 2006
