(Clearwisdom.net) Hello, respected Master! Hello, fellow practitioners!
Thank you very much, Master, for giving me this opportunity to calmly reflect upon my eight-year cultivation journey.
I had hung around the outside door of Falun Dafa for a long time before I truly started to cultivate myself. I read Zhuan Falun a long time ago. But because there were others saying, "Falun Gong has problems, and the government is conducting an investigation," I put the book down and did not read it again for over a year. In 1998, I had given birth, but due to an excessive loss of blood I lost consciousness on the operating table. While I was unconscious I felt I was floating in the air and started to fly in a pure and spacious dimension. I felt extremely comfortable. I did not know how much time had passed before the baby's crying brought me back to consciousness. After that, I remained unconscious for twenty hours. It was only when I had gone through the near-death experience that I realized what Zhuan Falun has said is true. Only after I became a Dafa practitioner did I come to understand that Master had already been looking after me. But at that time I still did not know to treasure this opportunity that comes once in a thousand years as I only joined the group exercises and Fa study on weekends. I did not need to go to work then.
July 1999 had come very quickly. Due to my superficial understanding of the Fa, I had some doubts about Master and Dafa. In the following year or so I did not practice the exercises or study the Fa often. For some inexplicable reasons during that time I often stumbled, fell down the stairs or sprained my ankle while walking even on flat roads.
Master says,
"I've described to you what it was like back then: evil beings from other dimensions attached to each blade of grass and each tree. As you walked down the street tree branches would whip you in the face, the grass would trip you, and the air was filled with evil. It's not that all of that really turned evil, it was the effect of bad lives and factors that were pushed down into the Three Realms during Fa-rectification. Everywhere, things were saturated with evil factors. They attached themselves to everything, doing the worst things in the Three Realms and among humans." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference")
Because of my inability to access the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net), as well as for the circulation of the widespread fake Jingwen (Master's articles) that the evildoers had fabricated, it was already the latter half of 2000 when I began to realize that the persecution was not as simple as it appeared to everyday people.
From "Waiting for Master to Rectify the Fa" to "Assisting Master in Rectifying the Fa"
My elder sister who started her cultivation earlier than I did, then often came to talk to me. She said, "Why doesn't the persecution end now? It is because there are still practitioners like you who have not stepped out yet, and our compassionate Master is still waiting for them. Are those practitioners who have already stepped out suffering for those like you?"
With the publication of "Teaching the Fa at the Western US Fa Conference" and "Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America" in 2000, I knew that I should not wait anymore, and I should not just rely on the sacrifice of the fellow practitioners. I also wanted to "Assist Master with the journey in the world." ("Assisting Fa" in Hong Yin, English Translation Version B)
I still remember my first time going out to hang banners. Because we could not get into contact with the people at the Dafa materials preparation site, we had to make the banners on our own. We first bought the inks and red cloth. Initially I was simply unable to write the first three strokes of the Chinese character Fa properly, and my writing was always crooked. I thus realized that Master was reminding me that it would not work, even if I had missed by one point (stroke). The other end of the banner was tied to a rock. In the night, three of us went onto the street with the banners and the other truth clarification materials we had prepared. My hands kept shaking at first. The banners fell down immediately after I had tossed them up into the trees. My heart beat rapidly, particularly when cars went by. I sent forth righteous thoughts to clean up the evils in other dimensions and also asked for Master's help. After we had hung all the banners, we held hands while walking the streets late at night. We felt extremely happy, as if we were able to see the banners in the other dimensions, shining with radiant lights and eliminating evil influences in the various dimensions.
In June 2001, my elder sister, who had decided to leave home to avoid further persecution, was arrested in another town. After having endured severe beatings, force-feeding and other tortures, she was sent to the notorious Masanjia Forced Labor Camp. Before she was arrested, she told me that she had been followed for a long time. Her phone was also tapped, and she already had images in preparation for her arrest. We did not then realize that we should negate the persecution of the old forces. She was only worried that I would be implicated. In July, practitioners whom I knew were arrested one after another, and the situation became increasingly tense. I was, however, very calm at that time. Master's sentence repeatedly came to my mind,
"I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe." ("Lecture One" of Zhuan Falun)
At around midnight on July 20, 2001, the sound of doorbell and telephone ringing awakened us. Seven policemen, uniformed and plainclothes, broke into my home and took my husband and me away. Being initially trusting, we did not see through the true nature of the evils and believed, as they had told us, that we would be able to come back home in about half an hour after questioning at the police station.
On the way I kept sending forth righteous thoughts. At the police station I saw my parents-in-law as well as several fellow practitioners who lived near us. I was very clear that this was merely an incident where I would need to clarify the truth in a different place. We were questioned separately. I kept clarifying the truth to the two policewomen and at the same time sent forth righteous thoughts to clean up the evils behind them. Initially they felt bad for me, a key teaching staff member from a very reputable high school, to have become "addicted" to Falun Gong. Gradually they asked each other, "Did they make a mistake? How could they include your name in the list?" In the end, they took the initiative to ask the police station head for my benefit, saying that I still had a three-year-old child to take care of. When I asked whether my husband and parents-in-law could come home with me, I heard one policeman saying, "There has never been one (Falun Gong practitioner) who, once inside the (police station's) door could walk out. Who do you think is as lucky as you?"
At 4:00 a.m. they called my neighbor and told him to come and take me home. In front of my neighbor they forced me to sign the guarantee letter promising not to go to Beijing anymore. They also threatened that if I broke my word, my neighbor's position would be in jeopardy and he would lose his position as a civil official. I then signed my name because of my attachment to emotions, leaving a dark mark on my cultivation.
After I went home I started to pass another emotional test. My neighbor, parents, and relatives took turns trying to convince me to give up cultivation. I felt I would have been better off staying inside the police station and not getting out. My older sister had been sent to Masanjia Forced Labor Camp, so I had become my parents' only comfort. I flipped open Zhuan Falun and immediately saw this sentence,
"When a tribulation comes in cultivation practice, if you still treat yourself as an everyday person, I would say that your xinxing at that moment has dropped to the level of everyday people. At least on this particular issue, you have dropped to the level of everyday people." ("Lecture Six" of Zhuan Falun)
So within one night, four members of my family were taken away. I had to not only take care of my child, but also try to find out the whereabouts of my dear ones, parents-in-law, my child's aunt, and my husband. The evildoers merely arrested the practitioners, while not daring to inform their family members of the arrest. I also needed to go to my husband's and my parents-in-law's employers to clarify the truth.
Several days later, a fellow practitioner brought me a copy of Master's latest lecture, "Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference," which had just been published. I almost cried out when I read the first sentence of the lecture,
"Hello everyone! You've been working hard!" "Maybe now you've experienced how hard cultivation is." ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference")
Indeed, our benevolent Master was actually very close to me, watching and encouraging me.
As I progressed in my Fa study I began to use the opportunities that my teaching job provided to clarify the truth. I have integrated the principles of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" into my teaching and getting along with others. The students, colleagues, and school principal have always trusted me very much. I also carefully kept the truth clarification materials. When I went to the public places to take baths, to the bookstores to buy book, the stores to buy shoes, or taking a taxi, I always remembered to leave behind a truth-clarification VCD, pamphlet, or a tape that I recorded myself. Every time I took a cab I always remembered to clarify the truth to the driver during the conversation.
Coming to Australia after Overcoming Many Obstacles
In 2002, my husband suddenly came up with the idea of emigration to other countries as skilled workers. We were then not sure if we could succeed in our attempt, as several of my police friends had mentioned to me that Falun Gong practitioners are prevented from going abroad. This was especially true for us whose names had already been on the list of the lower government branches. We worked on the immigration process without really paying attention to it. Deep in my heart, though, I told myself that I would rather not go abroad if I would be granted the passport only when I agreed to write the guarantee letter. I did not want to taint my cultivation anymore.
Things went surprisingly smooth, though. During the process, impossible miracles seemed to happen, one after another. Unlike others who might be able to get the visas, we, by contrast, actually got our visas first while waiting to get our passports.
After agents at the local police station rejected my husband's passport applications three times, I went to the police department. Ahead of time I walked through every level of the police department building, sending forth the righteous thoughts to negate the old forces' arrangements. I also asked for Master's help.
With this pure thought we ended up in Australia, although we had initially applied to go to New Zealand. We got our passports at the last minute. During the physical examination my son, who was unable to walk, also successfully passed the physical examination. We did not realize at that time that my son's situation would affect our application of visas as skilled workers. After arriving in Australia, our landlord told us that many people's applications for visas as skilled workers were refused because of their children's health problems.
After I arrived in Australia, a fellow practitioner who had previously worked on the same truth-clarification project as I did told me, "Do you know that I am so busy by working alone by myself? I then kept asking Master to arrange for a capable Dafa disciple to come here again to help me. As a result, you came."
Eliminate the Thought of Just Doing the Work, and Correcting Myself by Searching Within Myself
With the progress of the Fa rectification I have gained an even deeper understanding of the Fa. After I arrived in Melbourne, my sharing with fellow practitioners helped me find my gaps and come to understand the mission and responsibilities of Dafa disciples during the Fa rectification period. I truly started to cultivate myself, particularly after seeing how practitioners had taken initiatives in clarifying the truth, saving the sentient beings, and rescuing the detained practitioners in China. I then further understood the extraordinary and indestructible nature of Dafa. During the Dafa activities that I initially participated in, when I walked during a parade I often shed tears. I was proud of Dafa's wide dissemination. I felt extremely fortunate for being able to be Master's disciple. I felt even more rueful for my failing to do well in China due to my fear and attachment to comfort. With guidance from the Fa and with the encouragement of the fellow practitioners, I gradually emerged from the realm of personal cultivation and got involved in a media project to validate the Fa.
The media project was still in the preparation stage then, prior to its initial circulation. Every day there were a lot of articles that needed to be translated and edited. We worked in a house that was converted from a rented car garage. We forgot the time and cold,
"Let joy be found in hardship" ("Tempering the Will" in Hong Yin)
and dealt with the various difficulties in our lives with pure and clean minds. At that time we had a child who could not walk, and we did not have our own car and needed to travel four or five hours to go to the Fa study place. Nevertheless, we valued very much the group-sharing environment. Each time I went out to promote the Fa and clarify the truth I told myself that this was not merely an activity, as many fellow practitioners in China were so keen to have this opportunity! By then I felt that I had advanced very rapidly in my cultivation. I had also come to understand many more of the Fa principles.
As a media outlet is a way of clarifying the truth from another angle, and as we had not had enough sharing with the other truth-clarification groups, some individual practitioners raised doubts about the significance of the media. After that, the several main coordinators either withdrew from the media project or experienced a lot of interference. I asked myself almost every day, "Am I clarifying the truth? Am I doing the Fa-validating work?" Sometimes, I even thought that it would be more satisfying for me to go to the parks to clarify the truth to people face to face. After one instrumental practitioner who was doing the editing work left, I also wanted to quit. I dared not to raise my head to look at Master's photo, nor did I dare to look at the three words that Master had written for the media. I knew that I also had my own problems, however I still could not let go of my attachment to self-interest. This situation lasted until one practitioner close to me showed symptoms of severe sickness karma and was admitted to the hospital.
Standing by her bed in the hospital and looking at her, still in a coma, I suddenly came to realize: We had attached ourselves to who was right or wrong and who had not based herself on the Fa, while we had failed to realize that the old forces' dark minions and rotten demons had actually been watching us, to take advantage of our loopholes. Once our field was not pure or divisions were created, the evils would immediately come to interfere. The main project coordinator had indeed failed to accept the others' criticisms and to search within herself. However, our accusations and complaints could have only aided the evil and caused division among ourselves. Although I had been trying hard to search within myself and look inward, what I had done was just a superficial gesture, aiming to lead the others to "search within themselves" and enable them to be convinced. What a strong attachment to validating myself! As Master had chosen the media, I should unconditionally harmonize Master's requirements. I would stick with this to the end, even if I were the only one left!
Concurrently, I have also increasingly understood that, just as the occurrence of the Chen Yonglin incident in Australia, this media was a unique opportunity and special honor Master has given to Australian Dafa disciples. I understand that Master really hoped the Australian practitioners would, like the Dafa practitioners in North America and Europe, have fewer human notions and do well what Dafa disciples need to do.
Now we must harmonize this field and become one body, and everyone needs to act like a cultivator. When there are some disharmonies or conflicts among the fellow practitioners, as long as we all show tolerance we can certainly do better, and the evils will not dare to come close to us. Otherwise, they would be instantly disintegrated. At present, there are huge improvements in our media content, production and volume of circulation. Although there is still some way to go before we meet Master's expectation: "...get into a positive cycle," (" Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students") we definitely need to make breakthroughs.
Improving as One Body and Not Leaving Gaps in Our Xinxing for the Evils to Exploit
Master has repeatedly told us to make
"...holistic improvement and holistic upgrade." ("Lecture Two" of Zhuan Falun)
But how could we achieve this state? The Fa has already stated this very clearly,
"Therefore, one must pay attention to xinxing." ("Lecture Two" of Zhuan Falun)
It is true that we have intentionally divided ourselves into different project teams. However, the evils do not differentiate in their persecution of us. An article published on the Minghui website stated,
"When we as individuals regard projects that are not assigned to ourselves as other people's things, our whole body would be unwittingly divided into many small pieces, and the powerful strength as a whole would be weakened into scattered pockets of strength. Moreover, when we have different opinions or have arguments, we would further weaken each other's strength." "The purpose for dividing up the task of saving sentient beings into different projects is merely for the sake of convenience in doing the work, rather than intentionally forming divisions. We should still be one whole body and we should be able to form one whole body at anytime or anywhere -- that's what the right state should be. We may have different understandings of the Fa due to our different cultivation levels. These differences should not weaken us, but instead strengthen us. We should be going in the same direction together and supporting each other. We should be concerned about everything as if it were our own, have a clear understanding on every issue and understand things based on the Fa as much as we can, so that we don't form any divisions within our whole body. Only by accomplishing this can we keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification. Otherwise, there is no need for the evil to try to split us, as we would have already divided ourselves into many pieces. Isn't this a big omission?" ("Do Not Differentiate Between Fa-Rectification Projects; "A Great Way Has No Form" But Exists As a Whole (With Master's Comments)")
Different websites and media are targeting different audiences and speak from different angles, but they are all for the purpose of rescuing sentient beings in a maximized capacity. There are absolutely no distinctions between issues of one being more important than the other, just as we will not discuss whether the army or the air force is more important. But we need to know their respective roles.
Master's enormous endurance and sacrifice is actually reflected in every step each Dafa practitioner has taken. Without Master and Dafa, how could we be bestowed the title of "Dafa Disciple," the No. 1 title all gods the cosmos envy? Master and Dafa has conferred upon us the highest honor and given us the best of everything for the future. If one has not done well and has not shouldered all one's responsibility it will be the person's eternal regret, which can in no way be remedied. I understand that Master wants to save all the sentient beings in the entire cosmos and at the same time not leave behind any Dafa disciples who came to the human world. As Master's disciples, we must abide by Master's teaching at all times - improve together with all the fellow practitioners in the understanding of the Fa, remind each other, help each other, and cooperate well with each other, and in the meantime, keep improving and correcting ourselves through cultivation. Within this indestructible one body of Dafa disciples, let each of us cultivate diligently in the Fa, walk our own ways of validating the Fa in our own respective environments, and improve and advance as one body. Let us be well coordinated to rescue more predestined people.
During the process of my writing this opinion article for sharing, my eyes are repeatedly covered with tears, for Master's boundless benevolence and for my being able to catch up to this opportunity that only comes only once since the beginning of time in the cosmos. I felt regret for my competitive mentality that frequently manifests itself, my show-off mentality and my fear of others' criticism. I felt ashamed for my indifference during my earlier cultivation period. As a cultivator I often ask myself, "Am I a genuine cultivator? Can I give up everything for the salvation of sentient beings? Can I fundamentally understand Dafa? Can I, in an open and glorified way, give Dafa the right position in my mind? Do I fully comprehend the holy mission of Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification Time? Am I aware that the Fa-rectification has already reached the final step in its final phase? Do I really feel the urgency of rescuing sentient beings? Do I really feel worried for the sentient beings? Have I made Master worry about me again today? Have I done anything that makes the evils happy?"
What was described above is what I have come to realize during my personal cultivation. Please kindly point out anything that is not appropriate.
Again, thank you, benevolent Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
