(Clearwisdom.net) As an ordinary person, my lust was relatively strong. After starting my cultivation, I made mistakes in this aspect, so I became determined to get rid of it. Although my lust is not as strong as before, it is still not completely removed. My recent experiences helped me understand the root of this issue.I am a high school school teacher. Since I graduated from college recently, I tend to have close relationships with my students. One day I accidentally found out that one girl had a crush on me. My first thought was that since the girl is very young, no romance would ensue. However, I did enjoy the feeling having a secret admirer. This girl often called me; when I finally took her call, my mom (also a practitioner) was present. Because my lust had not been removed for a long time, my mom was worried about me and gave me strict behavioral requirements. Mom asked who was on the phone and I replied that it was a student. Mom then asked if there was something wrong and if that girl had some "ideas" about me. Mom saw from my facial expression that I did not treat it seriously and knew that I was probably affected by my attachment. I defended myself, saying, "How could I have feelings for such a young girl?" I thought since there was a big age difference between the girl and I, it was impossible for us to develop such a relationship. Yet, I felt this pleasure of "being sought after." The next day, mom and I sent forth righteous thoughts together. At this point, my mom's celestial eye was open. She told me that there was demon of lust interfering with me and I did not remove it, but instead sat there enjoying it. She said the demon was bugging me in my stomach. I was shocked and remembered this incident: several days ago when this girl tried to talk to me, I knew of her intentions but did not treat it with righteous thoughts; I smiled and flirted with her, which I enjoyed. When she left, I felt my stomach was pricked by something and it hurt. The evil was taking advantage of my lust loophole. After mom figured it out, I realized that I should be on my guard and not allow such an interaction to take place again.
I remembered before that there were quite a few people who wanted to introduce girls to me. I was quite excited by these opportunities and intentionally showed off to them. I behaved so immaturely that I could not calm down when sending forth righteous thoughts, and as a result, developed more bad thoughts. The feelings of lust and entertaining it brought pleasure to me.I wondered when my lust could be removed and when I would not be swayed by such temptation. Teacher said,
"As I've said, everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples' thoughts. Even though the old forces do exist, if you don't have those thoughts they can't do anything. When your righteous thoughts are strong enough the old forces can't do a thing. " ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
I mentally reviewed all the incidents that happened in the past few days. I decided not to be taken advantage by the old forces.
"If you do not and will not think of them, your spouse will not think of them, either." (Zhuan Falun, Demonic Interference in Cultivation)
This Fa principle helped me to see the problems. Although I understood Teacher's words, I had still indulged in lustful thoughts. I understood at this point that I should not have such thoughts at all and what the removal of lust really means. In spite of my understanding that the thought of lust is not good, I continued to pursue it deeply in my mind. I foolishly thought that it was all right to have a good feeling with just the thought of it, as an ordinary person. Hence, it was quite difficult to eliminate my lust. Teacher said,
"Our practice has a focus and truly points out those attachments. By abandoning them, one will make very rapid progress in cultivation." (Zhuan Falun, Consecration).
Instead I only removed it superficially. I seemed to be practicing cultivation, but I was still pursuing it underneath.
"Those who are attached to lust are no different from wicked people. While reciting the scriptures, they even cast furtive glances; they are far from the Dao and are wicked, everyday people. " (Essentials for Further Advancement, Cultivator's Avoidances)
Now, I more deeply understand what this statement means. Though I continue on my cultivation path, I still have not completely removed it from my mind.Since I became enlightened to it, I then cleaned my mind with righteous thoughts. I immediately rejected and cleared away those bad thoughts. I needed to rectify and clear the root of these thoughts and not leave the evil forces any loopholes. Cultivation practice is serious. I was not practicing cultivation diligently and my situation is similar to the case in which Master said,
"Gradually, this person would accept small gifts. Later, she would also accept big gifts. In the end, she would even be offended when the gifts were few." (Zhuan Falun)
The evil forces entice you starting by giving "small gifts." If you don't pay attention, they will gradually lead you to voluntarily ask for it until you think this is your own thought. In this way, the evil forces take advantage of your loophole and then it may be not easy to negate it at this point. Teacher said,
"If you can commit your mind, no difficulties can stop you. I would say that there is not a problem." (Zhuan Falun, "Transformation of Karma")
What I need is resolute and diligent cultivation. In the next few days, I sent out righteous thoughts to clean out a lot of evil thoughts and eventually felt my mind becoming purer.I realized that lust is the most serious thing that the evil forces use to interfere with cultivators. Teacher stated,
"Therefore, this present, objectively existing environment seriously interferes with our practitioners' cultivation toward high levels. Nude pictures are displayed right over there, hanging in the middle of the street. Once you look up, you will see them." (Zhuan Falun)
Modern society does not have many moral restrictions in this aspect and anyone can do whatever he/she likes.
It is difficult to remove lust and so is maintaining one's xinxing.
If we measure our thoughts according to the Fa and treat everything with
righteous thoughts, then evil can not take advantage.