(Clearwisdom.net) Recalling life's bitterness, and pondering one's many regrets in life are normal psychological activities of a human being indulged in sentimentality. But as practitioners who have let go of the pursuit of fame, material interest and emotion, and whose minds are beyond the secular world, we should give up this mentality. However, many of our fellow practitioners still, more or less, share the same sentimentality as everyday people. Some are even very attached to it. This problem has not been taken seriously by those practitioners. This causes sentimentality to run rampant. Therefore, I want to offer a special reminder here.
Recently, several practitioners' problems in this area prompted me to look inward to find my own problem, which is deep and not easily noticed.
Both of my parents are Chinese Communist Party (CCP) cadres. In addition to the several political campaigns against innocent people that they experienced, family problems on both sides have caused them to be indifferent and ignorant about human feelings. As a result I haven't been shown any warmth from my family since I was little. Many neighbors and co-workers often asked me, "Your mother is not your own, is she?" I was confused by such questions at the beginning. Later, I learned what others' mothers were like, which made me feel very disappointed and at a loss.
For this reason and because of the domestic violence that I experienced, I rarely talked to my parents. It was not until I practiced Falun Dafa that I gradually made peace and developed a harmonious relationship with them. But in the past few years they separated and divorced even though they were over seventy years old. This time-consuming experience made us siblings feel exhausted. As a result I have been very psychologically unbalanced. I looked inward, but couldn't find my problem. Sometimes I thought, "Is it because of all the complaints that I have had about them and because of their ill treatment of me when I was little?" I wondered if I ever recovered or rectified my human notions? I made some adjustments, and there were some small changes. But I still didn't feel right because I sensed a barrier between us when I communicated with them, and this affected my truth-clarification within the family.
A few things happened around me lately. Last month I heard that a fellow practitioner claimed, "I have never had true love, which is a regret in my life." She said so because her former boyfriend had made frequent contacts with her recently. To clarify the truth about Falun Dafa to him she got into touch with him several times. But the contacts triggered her memories. She now often says, "My husband doesn't understand my feelings. I really lack true love. What a bitter life I have!"
Another older practitioner told his children, "Your mother and I have had extremely bitter lives. You should understand our past experiences. It is very difficult..." Then, just like ordinary people say, "The door to feelings opens up and the feelings flow out." A lot of complaints were vented by these practitioners.
Many people tend to complain and sigh about the bitterness of life. Everyone's experiences could be written into a book. Many experiences are dramatic and even legendary, so some people would chew them over. Actually, this is merely sentimentality's way of evolving things, a purposeful arrangement by gods to strengthen the control that sentimentality has on human beings. As a practitioner, if you don't suppress it, it will become a demonic manifestation and a barrier to further cultivation.
Another fellow practitioner found that although he had a good relationship with his wife he nonetheless felt it was difficult to tolerate whenever his wife's demonic behavior worsened. He realized lately that this was because of his dissatisfaction with his wife, which started when they were still dating each other. He had the notion at that time, "She is not the kind of person that I could love," and felt this was a regret in life.
Master has taught about the predestined relationship between husbands and wives. Think about it. If you really loved someone, so what? As a practitioner, aren't you supposed to let go of all this? For a practitioner, isn't this an additional barrier, an additional attachment to let go of? Of course, if you insist on being attached to it, you are not cultivating yourself. What does it mean to a practitioner if you have or do not have a spouse that you love?
Similarly, an older fellow practitioner disliked various things about his wife because their marriage was arranged during the CCP's struggles against social classes. At that time he could only make great compromises to accommodate the situation. Consequently, he always had this regret.
In fact, from the perspective of predestined relationships, marriages are a direct result of events in our past lives, no matter what the superficial causes for them were. So there is no point in complaining about the matter. In addition, our spouses may suffer more than we do. So we should try to be more compassionate when dealing with these situations. I enlightened to this through studying the Fa.
From these cases I also found my own "regrets in life." During the past few years I often left work very late. But my wife always waited for me, so we could cook together. I resented this a lot and complained that we had dinner too late. But she didn't make any changes in our schedule no matter what I said or how I said it. Now I understand that it was because I have always felt myself suffering and wanted warmth from others. I want the caring warmth that I wasn't able to get when I was young. Therefore, having a great, ready-made meal when I go back home had become my big wish. Actually this IS my hope and pursuit for a wonderful life. This is still wanting to be an everyday human, to enjoy some good human things and not wanting to let go of emotion. So, I always felt a little disappointed whenever I passed by my parents' home at lunch time and had to eat at a food stand not far from them instead of going in for a "home-made, ready-to-eat meal." That's why I always felt very "warm-hearted" when having a ready-made meal at a fellow practitioner's or relative's home. Isn't this about enjoying the human sentiment?
As a matter of fact, if you look from the opposite perspective and see through life, death and life's unexpectedness, aren't the so-called "warmth" and "beauty of life" an indication of the fleetingness of human life? Aren't they human sentiments? Sentiments are selfish, and are the lifestyle of lower beings. Aren't we to be free from all this? If you are given this kind of life enjoyment, won't you stop following higher Fa principles and stick to human notions?
It is the same thing with the issue of parents. Is the meaning of life to be born to a warm family with loving parents? Even if you truly have this, aren't you supposed to let go of sentimentality and have compassion for all beings? What's the difference for a cultivator between having and not having these experiences?
In addition, all these life experiences are caused by your karma, and you are supposed to go through them. Now, your karmic life becomes your state of cultivation. When cultivating in the so-called "suffering" should you talk about regrets and disappointments when "suffering" is merely a method for cultivation?
At this crucial time when this historic drama is about to end, no matter if you do well or badly, everything will come to an end, including all the so-called "life-being-suffering-and-short" kind of sentimentality. Master said,
"Five thousand years of reincarnation through shifts and change,
I brush off the enshrouding dust, and all their realities are seen."
("Descending to the Earthly World" from Hong Yin II, provisional translation subject to improvement)"So long and drawn out the years--
hundreds, thousands, their measure
The predestination formed, with
true fruition, the many lotuses bloom"
(from Hong Yin II, provisional translation subject to improvement)
Our mission is so great that it worth thousands of years of suffering in reincarnations. With sentient beings facing great catastrophe and danger, how could we still mention personal sorrows and sentiments? Only one enormous thought should dominate,
"Who is really the gallant lead in this gigantic play?
I made this only trip just for the sake of sentient beings."
("Descending to the Earthly World" from Hong Yin II, provisional translation subject to improvement)
