(Clearwisdom.net) I've been cultivating and practicing Falun Dafa for over 8 years. On the path of cultivation, I stumbled to where I am today. In comparison with more diligent practitioners, I've fallen far behind. The purpose of this article is to correct myself, report my status to Teacher and to encourage fellow practitioners so that I can do the three things Teacher requests of us well.
Thanks to a disease from which I suffered for a long time, I came to obtain Dafa in an unexpected way. Before I began to practice, the expenses for medicine and hospitalization were far beyond the financial means of my family. My bad temper, caused by the painful disease, almost tore my family apart. I was on the edge of collapse both mentally and physically.
The dramatic changes that occurred to my mind, body, and everything surrounding me are too hard to describe in words. I changed and my family changed too. My friends began to come around more and more each day. Relatives who hadn't visited for a long time came to visit more as well. To sum up, everything became wonderful. My family, friends and I were all soaked in the joy of such wonderful changes. All of us appreciated Falun Dafa for bringing great improvement to our lives.
The CCP regime started persecuting Falun Gong in July 1999. The sudden and unexpected persecution, the overwhelming lies and huge hardship to all Falun Dafa practitioners made everyone wonder: "Can Falun Dafa and its practitioners take it?" During the following years among my family, all former understandings became ridiculous accusations. I knew there was nothing wrong with Falun Dafa! I needed to step out and appeal to the government! But I felt that the evil forces were so strong. My body and legs would tremble each time I stepped out of my home. Fortunately, compassionate Teacher sent fellow practitioners to encourage me from time to time. So I didn't stop walking the path of Fa-rectification even after numerous arrests, and became more steadfast in the end.
I went to Beijing once again to validate the Fa in October 2000. I raised a banner that read, "Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance" and shouted "Falun Dafa Is Good" in Tiananmen Square. I felt heaven and earth shake at that very moment. I also realized that it is our responsibility, as Falun Dafa practitioners, to appeal for and protect Dafa. Five or six policemen in plain clothes rushed at me madly, beat me without mercy, and tried to grab away my banner. They were furious because I held the banner so tightly that they couldn't take it away. I kept shouting, "Falun Dafa is good," which made them treat me even more violently as they dragged me towards the police car, beating me. My eyes were bleeding, and my nose bled like a fountain. My clothing was covered with blood, but I didn't feel much pain. I realized it was because my compassionate Teacher took the hit for his disciple! I cried, not for my pain, but thinking of the fact that Teacher has suffered and done so much for us. I thought at that time, "As long as I can validate the Fa, it's worth being arrested, sent to a labor camp and even jailed."
Now looking back, I realize that such thoughts were in line with the old forces and gave them an excuse to persecute me, a Falun Dafa practitioner. Such thoughts actually pursued evil persecution implicitly! For this reason, I was unlawfully sent to a labor camp for three years. In the labor camp, I thought, "I'm a cultivator, nobody can change my steadfast mind towards Dafa, even with extreme violence and torture." So I was able to break through those repeated, forcible transformation attempts without any doubts--all based on my strong belief in Teacher and Dafa. However, I still had too many notions and couldn't consider problems with a divine being's thinking. I worried too much and couldn't let go of life and death. I thought it would be all right as long as I wasn't "transformed." I even thought that the extra suffering was because of my own karma. Wouldn't this idea encourage the old forces and give them a splendid excuse to persecute me?
Looking back at my cultivation path, a lot of times I didn't consider questions based on the Fa. What's done cannot be remedied. I could only learn the lesson and convert sorrow into motivation for diligence. The reason why I didn't do well was because I didn't study the Fa enough and I'm slow to enlighten to things. I can now better understand why Teacher requires us to study the Fa more frequently. After returning from the labor camp, although I studied the Fa at first, I stopped studying for a long time and my show off mentality grew out of not being "transformed". The compliments from fellow practitioners made me too big headed to study the Fa calmly. In November 2003 I was once again abducted to a brainwashing center. This time, with Teacher's protection, I escaped.
Due to my poor enlightenment quality, I didn't fully understand the meaning of Dafa and elevated very slowly in understanding the Fa. That was the reason my gaps were exploited. Along with the progress of Fa-rectification, the Fa's requirement for Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioners is getting higher. Not only do we have to cultivate ourselves, we also need to save sentient beings. Saving sentient beings has become the most urgent matter now. Fellow practitioners in my local area are not getting along with one another in truth clarification activities, which hinders the validation of Dafa. Besides, the fact that I didn't do well also boiled down to another negative effect to some extent. When I noticed others' bad behavior, I didn't realize clearly that it was interference imposed by the old forces (because of their attachments), I didn't help fellow practitioners out but blamed them instead. And when other practitioners shared opinions different from mine, I became angry.
Until one day when a fellow practitioner, whose opinion was very different from mine, greeted me as closely as family. I was so moved, and I saw my own shortcomings. We are all cultivating in the same school, so we should be more tolerant and look at others' good deeds. We need to change ourselves, increase righteous thoughts and compassion while doing the three things well. We need to be tolerant of others and use compassion towards everyone, no matter what they did. How much have I accomplished this? I feel ashamed.
Now I've enlightened to the fact that no matter what conflicts we have among fellow practitioners or everyday people, we can always resolve them by studying the Fa more, looking inward and treating others with compassion. We are cultivating in Dafa and cannot hinder the saving of sentient beings because of our own problems. We practitioners have karmic connections to be able to gather together, so let's cherish it. I'll work hard to rectify every thought of mine and treat myself strictly that I can become a qualified disciple. Fellow practitioners, let's cherish the precious opportunity and complement one another.
I hope fellow practitioners whose attachments are similar to mine use me as a mirror. Let's always put the Fa first, judge everything based on Dafa, help Teacher rectify the Fa, and bring Teacher more comfort and less worry.
Category: Improving Oneself
