(Clearwisdom.net) I saw some fellow practitioners involved in conflicts which they could not get themselves out of recently. I want to relate it to a past experience of mine, to share with fellow practitioners.
For a long period of time, I indulged myself in ordinary people's resentment and hatred. From an ordinary person's angle I saw my father as very partial and selfish. He only cared about his reputation and his son - my elder brother.
The last few years of my life have been very difficult. Even though my father was worried about me, he always criticized me for practicing Falun Dafa. My identity card was confiscated and I could not go to the bank to save money. My only 25,000 yuan savings was stored in my parents' place. Father did not ask for my permission when he allocated it to my brother to build a house. He also did not plan to return it to me, as he thought it was reasonable for a daughter's money to be used by her brother. Yet my brother already had multiple real estate properties, while I still lived in a company dorm. My life is very frugal. My underwear was often patched to prolong usage. I wanted to buy a computer or a motor bike but I did not have the money. Father then planned that when I became older, he would allocate a room out of his home for me as compensation. Mother often talked about examples of other daughters taking care of their family, giving the example that "some daughter gave her brother 100,000 yuan," etc. As to my difficulties, they did not care. For a long time, I was indulged in the resentment of parents' treatment of me. I know such a state is not good, but I could not face it openly. I only tolerated it with tears.
I did not give up on changing myself and my environment, however. First I realized that I am a practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. Dafa practitioner's money should not be appropriated arbitrarily. So I tried to talk with my brother and mother, in the hope of correcting their notions. I talked about my situation and pressures, talked about the source of this money - medical savings since obtaining the Fa. Even though I still had a strong heart about the "unfairness" in my discussion, my intention was good, and the effect was good too.
Then I looked inside, and studied the Fa. Through continued Fa study, I understood that I did not face the problem with a Dafa practitioner's standard. Ordinary people take honor in more money and grander houses. But what do cultivators take honor in? Isn't doing well the three things, according to Master's requirements, the most important? Without looking at oneself deeply, sometimes one cannot easily face the issue even though it is apparent that the state is not right. (In fact there are also factors of the old forces magnifying our attachments. Through writing this article, this bad material disappeared.) Even after this took place, I still heard people say things that would make me uncomfortable. I knew that being uncomfortable in my heart is a human attachment, and that I still should look inside.
Through continued looking inside, I gradually eliminated the heart of weighing fame and interest, and the attachment to my family being nice to me. Instead I strived to own a heart of benevolence, persuading others to do good deeds, and always caring for others. As a cultivator, we have the Fa as our guide. How happy we are! Why do we have to pursue ordinary people's things? Ordinary people are accumulating karma in ignorance. I shed tears for ordinary people.
I felt that mother's words became much more appealing. She no longer talked about how other daughters treated their parents well. Additionally, my father is no longer against my studying Falun Gong. He no longer opposes me clarifying the truth to relatives. This has shown how important cultivating one's heart is! Master writes,
"Everything in your dimensional field is controlled by the thoughts in your brain. In other words, when you look at things with your Third Eye, if you calmly observe with no thoughts added in, what you see is real. But as soon as you use your mind, even if it's just a little bit, everything you see will be false, and this is 'breeding demons in your own mind,' which is also called 'transforming according to thoughts.'" (Zhuan Falun)
When reading this paragraph, I suddenly understood. A lot of the times when we treat things with ordinary people's opinions, the evil will then fake things to make us indulge in it, and not lift us out.
At work, for a period of time, I also heard people accusing me, such as some manager saying that my way of expression was too rude. Some managers did not think my work attitude was diligent, or did not accept my advice. In all, I felt very annoyed, very tired. At this moment, I realized that I should look inside instead of caring so much about a manager's attitude. Of course, if there are misunderstandings, I can explain it to them benevolently. But I should look inside myself first. I discovered that I had a strong will to do things and I eagerly hoped to be understood and respected by others. In other words, I still sought fame and self interest. Working is only one of our arrangements in this world. "...come to work early and go home late." "...do diligent and conscientious work" (Zhuan Falun). According to the Fa, that is good enough. How could I force ordinary people to understand or respect me? The next day, I explained things benevolently to my manager, and felt my heart was much relieved. After this writing, my heart is even more light and relaxed. I felt that the bad material weighing on my heart for a long time had disappeared. This will be very beneficial to my truth clarification and saving people.
When facing the trial of family sentiments and the attachment of fame and interest, feeling annoyed in my heart would already not be right. If not directed by the Fa and eliminated in time, one will then trip over their attachments and not lift themselves out. We are Dafa practitioners of the Fa-rectification period, we have to look at the problems rationally, and not treat problems the same way as ordinary people.
On our way of returning, let us drop all our human notions, strive forward together, and closely follow the Fa-rectification process.
Note: My father has now returned all the money that he borrowed. Mother is honored by having me as a daughter, and often praises me. No matter how people treat us, as cultivators we should not be affected, not get angry, not become complacent. Look inside ourselves as much as possible, and right one's own attitude.
April 17, 2006
