(Clearwisdom.net) My memory is a record of my own history, and analyzing it can help me to walk my path more righteously in the future. However, due to all the pain in my past, I never wanted to recollect the past. Even when it came to writing down my cultivation experiences, I used the excuse, "My cultivation state is not good and I have nothing to write," to avoid it. Looking at the root of my problem, my strong attachment to my ego was exposed. After letting go of the human mentality and my attachment, I find that my thoughts flow out just like a spring wells up, and I can now write the following story.
I am truly happy to dissolve into Dafa
For some period of time, I was lax in my cultivation and developed a non-practitioner's attachments. Then the tribulations in my life increased. The more tribulations, the more I treated them with a poor mentality and the worse the results were. I was stuck in conflicts and could not get out. I decided to simply not think too much about it all and let it be. I just went out to hand out truth clarification flyers! Then I thought that even if I didn't cultivate well, I was still a being coming here for Dafa and I should do whatever I can. When I came back after handing out flyers, I felt my whole body was relaxed. I enlightened to the understanding that if any being in Dafa wants to leave Dafa to pursue anything, it is similar to a fish wanting to leave water or a flower refusing the sunshine. Actually, Master Li has told us the Fa principle that to genuinely improve we must give up a lot. It is just because I wanted something from both humans and Gods, that I experienced excessive tribulations. And it is also due to my last remaining righteous thought that Master opened up a level of heaven for me. At this time, I feel that I am truly happy to dissolve into Dafa.
Becoming an open and aboveboard Dafa practitioner
"Then, as a cultivator, you should make use of all feasible conditions to spread Dafa and validate Dafa as a correct and true science, rather than preaching or idealism--this is every cultivator's obligation." ("Validation," from Essentials for Further Advancement)
When I read this article of Master's for the first time, this sentence was deeply implanted in my heart. I understand that this is the responsibility of those of us who have benefited from Dafa. Therefore, over these years, I have been taking an approach to directly validate Dafa, openly telling people, "I am a Falun Dafa practitioner."
I often clarify the truth about Dafa when I go shopping, buy groceries or ride the bus. Whenever I have a chance to get in touch with people, I ask Master to help me create an opportunity to clarify the truth. When my cultivation state is good and I have Dafa in my mind and have sentient beings on my mind, then just as Master says, my wisdom constantly comes out and every sentence of mine can hit the key point and several sentences of mine can save a person.
When my cultivation state was not good, there was a period of time when I always tried to avoid going out and even avoided going out to buy necessities at the grocery store. I lay on my bed and asked myself, "Why don't I want to go out? - I don't want to clarify the truth - Why? - Fear." Those who are afraid of knowing the truth should be the evil ones, not Dafa practitioners! Only when we are selfless can we be fearless. Moreover,
"The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
I remember that a practitioner once shared the feeling that it is as if we are standing on Tiananmen Square every day. True, in doing things to validate Dafa, even doing the most minor things have requirements on our xinxing and also require us to let go of life and death. Because this is cultivation! When I realized this, I got up and went out immediately to clarify the truth.
Always Remember Master Li
I remember when I had just obtained Dafa, one time I went home from a group study. It was already dark. Just as I arrived at the door, I felt that a big dark shadow stood at the door with two hands on its waist. I immediately had a thought: I know Master Li Hongzhi! Immediately that dark shadow disappeared.
One time in 2002, I went out to distribute flyers in the daytime. As I was distributing them, I heard someone shouting loudly behind me: "Halt and stand!" I knew they were shouting at me, yet I was not startled or afraid. I said, "Freeze," and continued walking ahead without even turning my head back. When I was about to turn the corner, I looked back to have a glance. I saw a man and a woman standing outside the door of a household. The woman opened her mouth and the man stared at me blankly. I genuinely felt the power of righteous thoughts.
On another occasion, I rode a bike to go out for some business. On my way back, a motorist hit me from behind and pushed me forward 2-3 meters. After I fell down, his car even ran over me. The people around us were all scared. I said to myself, "I am all right." Amazed, the people surrounding me asked me what virtue had I accumulated to have been unscathed. I told them I have accumulated the virtue of Falun Gong. My husband (also a practitioner) also immediately told the person who hit me that I practiced Falun Gong and would not extort any money from him. He told the driver that if he wanted to express thanks, he should thank Falun Gong.
What I have recorded here today is only a drop in the ocean. During my cultivation, no matter whether in the peaceful period or during the last six years of persecution, I have a deep sense that no matter what, "I am a Dafa practitioner," and then any negative situation immediately clears up.
The above are some understandings of my cultivation. Please kindly point out if there is anything inappropriate.
