(Clearwisdom.net) We Falun Dafa practitioners understand from Teacher's lectures that Teacher has arranged and prepared everything for us. What remains is only a matter of whether we are able to understand and accept what Teacher has given to us. Actually, Teacher has arranged everything. How can we accomplish anything truly significant? The only thing we can do is thank Teacher for his great compassion and mighty virtue, cherish all the splendors our revered Teacher has created for us and respectfully follow what Teacher has chosen for us.
1. Unswayable Righteous Belief in the Face of Tremendous Pressure
In the latter half of 2004, many Dafa practitioners in our city stepped forward to validate Dafa. They put up posters, hung up banners and distributed flyers. On the surface, practitioners are clarifying the truth on a grand scale and in a vigorous manner; however, I noticed a crisis behind the scenes. Many practitioners only paid attention to the superficial formalities and did not put emphasis on solid cultivation. As a result, it was a common problem for practitioners to have the mentality of doing things, showing off, competitiveness, and admiration of others. Because of these human mentalities, a series of problems arose. For example, practitioners even started to form cliques among themselves, have personal conflicts and play mind games with one another. I raised my concern at a group Fa study and sharing to several coordinators. I mainly focused on the problems of a particular coordinator and other specific cases, hoping these problems would serve as representative issues for everyone to pay attention to. In the end, I said: "If these problems are allowed to continue, they will cause all practitioners in our city to suffer as one body." However, the coordinators disagreed with my understanding. They replied: "That's impossible. We are aware of everything you just mentioned. These are only problems of individuals and definitely will not affect the whole region."
Before long, two key members in a material production site were expelled because of personal conflicts. Upon their departure, one of them said: "If this were allowed to continue, there would have been severe problems." Later, both of them were arrested. As of today, they are still suffering from severe torture.
In mid-December, because there were not enough capable practitioners who have a good command of technical issues, material sites in other regions sought help from practitioners in our city. After a discussion among themselves, several coordinators asked me to offer my help. I felt it was my responsibility to help practitioners in other regions, so I decided to go there without hesitation.
One week later, as I was ready to leave, serious incidents occurred. Seven material production sites were destroyed at the same time! Fourteen practitioners were arrested. Equipment and money were confiscated. We suffered a great financial loss and immeasurable loss of workers and resources.
I was extremely shocked and sorrowful when I heard the news. My first thought was to ask where I had a gap, which the evil took such big advantage of. I noticed a pattern of being afraid of offending others, not daring to hold firm in matters of principle, and always trying to avoid conflicts. Whenever I felt I could become the target of criticism, I did not face the conflict directly; instead, I tried to maintain a calm look on the surface and pretended to be ignorant of the conflicts. At the same time, I would protect myself using human means. It was precisely my selfishness that caused us all to have this gap. I was deeply regretful, but it was too late! Now we had to face the cruel reality.
After I calmed down, I felt it was our urgent responsibility to rescue our fellow practitioners and to restore our material sites. However, the process was very difficult. Under the terrifying atmosphere, many practitioners dared not to come out, some even left home to avoid being persecuted, much less rescuing fellow practitioners. We felt helpless in many areas. As a result, we spent another two months in passiveness and observing the situation.
The situation worsened. Because the arrested practitioners did not maintain their xinxing, other practitioners were implicated and arrested. Practitioners lived in fear every day and were suspicious of one another. Many tried to figure out who the spy could be, fearing that they would be the next target of persecution. What made it even worse was that the practitioner who worked closely with me was arrested. Another practitioner told me that the police department had obtained information about me and was planning to arrest me. I was told to leave the city immediately and to leave the material production duties behind.
At that time, I felt as if the sky had fallen in. Unfortunately, at this very moment, practitioners started to spread rumors about me. I was portrayed as deceiving practitioners everywhere for food, and that I had spent money for my personal use, which practitioners had saved with painstaking effort in order to support the material production site. I lived in fellow practitioner Xiaomei's home at that time. Xiaomei believed these rumors. As soon as I got home, she threw a fit, asking me to return her house key and leave immediately. Before I was finished packing my luggage, she forced me out of her apartment.
After that, I was extremely depressed. I did not know what I should do in the future. I used to get along very well with Xiaomei. Now even she treated me this way. How could I continue to live in this city? I recalled the suffering I had endured in the past several years during validating Dafa; I lost almost everything among everyday people. However, encountering such a situation, I was pessimistic and did not want to continue to be this way.
Therefore, I decided to leave this city. Before my departure, I went to practitioner Lian's home and shared my anguish and difficulties with her. She listened and shared with me another practitioner's experience, which we both read on the Minghui website. A young female practitioner was suspected of being a spy. The tribulation she faced was enormous. However, she firmly passed this test. I remembered it was from a Fahui sharing article titled "I Would Still Want to Be a Falun Dafa Disciple If I Were to Choose Again." (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2004/11/26/54952.html) In comparison, I felt ashamed. I did not live up to the title of a "Dafa Disciple." I recalled that before the material sites were established, fellow practitioners saved money from their daily expenses and supported me so that I could learn computer techniques in a computer school. I studied very hard at school. What was our initial goal? Wasn't it meant to serve Dafa at the most critical moment? Now Dafa is suffering unjust treatment and the local environment is getting worse, how can I avoid my responsibility for my own selfish concern? How can I live up to fellow practitioners' care and support! With this thought, I did not have any excuse to leave my duties behind. I said to Lian: "I will stay here for another six months and teach you all the skills you will need. I will not leave until you have grasped all the skills."
2. Making Breakthroughs and Resolving All Difficulties
It was a very difficult process to re-establish the material production site. Previously, the material production site was operated in a collaborative way wherein each person was responsible for a specific task. I was responsible for going on the Internet and downloading materials. I was not well versed in other techniques. Now that I did not have any other practitioners to turn to for help, I could only follow a path with my firm righteous belief in Dafa.
My fellow practitioner Lian helped me rent an apartment. I went to a computer store to buy equipment and supplies, and started to produce materials. I single-handedly took care of the operating system installation, downloaded software, layout, printing, assembly of the DVD burner and burning all the VCD/DVDs. On top of that, I was responsible for submitting experience sharing articles to the Minghui website, submitting solemn declaration statements of renouncing the CCP, etc. It was hard to do all these things on my own. No matter how busy I was, I persisted in studying the Fa, practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, because these are the most basic requirement for a cultivator. I must not lower the requirements for myself with the excuse of being busy with Dafa projects. Thus, I will walk my path gradually with Teacher's compassionate care and protection.
During the whole process, I encountered many difficulties, in technical things as well as difficulties caused by my own Xinxing problems. My family, fellow practitioners and my own notions, which I had formed in society, hindered me. In addition, there was pressure imposed on me by the old forces. No matter how difficult it was, I firmly believed in Teacher's teaching: "just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." ("Eliminate Your Last Attachments," Essentials for Further Advancement II) Many problems were thus readily resolved.
For example, what was I to do when the printer broke? I never repaired a printer before. I did not have any other choice but to send it to a shop for repair. I observed the whole repair process. When the repair was done, I remembered all the procedures. After I returned home, I reviewed these procedures. After that, I was able to do it myself. I had never burned a VCD, but now I had to do it on my own. What had to be done? I followed the prompts and explanations of the software gradually. Finally, I was able to do it skillfully. On one occasion, I sent an email to an editor of the Minghui website. In his reply, he asked me to encrypt my email with pgp technology. I did not know anything about pgp encryption at all. What had to be done? I downloaded pgp software from the Minghui website and read the introduction manual. I printed it out, followed it gradually, and then installed the software. After the installation, I learned how to use it through trial and error. Gradually I grasped the technique.
That was how I grasped almost all the technologies needed to run a material production site in three months without having anyone to teach me. Others felt it was absolutely amazing. I did not feel that this was something unusual because I learned all the techniques naturally. Actually, it was because Dafa gave me wisdom.
With the progress of Teacher's grand Fa-rectification and as the truth of Falun Dafa deeply touched people's hearts, the environment in our city gradually became better. Fellow practitioners stepped out to clarify the truth in succession, and more and more practitioners came to ask for materials. My workload multiplied. Every day, after I finished my workload, it was almost midnight. On special occasions, I needed to do some extra work; sometimes, I even stayed up all night to work on material production. I spent every day alone; oftentimes, I was exhausted. It was even difficult to spare time for Fa study and doing the exercises. I knew I could not continue this way. The workload previously performed by a dozen people now fell on my shoulders. I could not continue to work like this no matter how diligent I was. If it were not for the fact that I was able to memorize the whole book of Zhuan Falun, and had a solid foundation in Fa study, I would not have been able to make it. If I could not find time to study the Fa well, I would follow the same old path and made the same mistakes as in the previous material site. The previous lesson was indeed very tragic. We could not afford to make the same mistakes again. However, what had to be done about it?
Then I remembered that the Minghui website called for "Establishing Small-scale Material Sites, like Flowers Blossoming Everywhere." I discussed this with Lian and wanted to resolve this problem as soon as possible. Lian also realized it was an urgent matter. However, the most difficult thing in establishing more material sites is the choice of personnel. We thought about several fellow practitioners, but in the end, we decided none of them would be suitable. Either some fellow practitioners did not have a good cultivation environment in their families or their xinxing was not very good. None of them were good candidates. Lian had a full time job, so she could not help me either. What should we do? Teacher asked us to "take the Fa as our teacher." We had no other choice but to look for answers in the Fa.
In Zhuan Falun, Lecture One, Teacher said: "...the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." I realized from this teaching that in our cultivation process, we all have attachments. If a cultivator does not have any attachments, he or she is about to achieve Consummation. Then, there would be no such issue of cultivation for him/her. It is not that if one has attachments, he or she cannot continue to cultivate. The key is how we should face our attachments with a righteous attitude, how we should find our attachments and get rid of them. That is the state a cultivator must maintain.
In "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference," Teacher said:
"In my eyes the beings are the same. I don't see beings as you being better than him or him being better than her. I only look at whether the person has the experience and enthusiasm of working for a group. That's the only thought I have. I don't have thoughts like, "This person is able to cultivate himself well and is better than others, so I'll make him the Assistant.'"
I realized that when we are looking for practitioners for material sites, we need to follow the same principle. As long as a practitioner has the enthusiasm to produce truth-clarification materials, his or her starting point is righteous and is a cultivator's state. That is enough, because the process of producing truth-clarification materials is also one of constantly rectifying oneself.
Two small material sites were thus established quickly. Several fellow practitioners started to learn computer techniques and making preparations. Presently, I have installed operating systems for more than ten computers. The situation in our region is getting better and better.
[to be continued]
